There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid People

, , , , | | Right | March 28, 2008

(As with most customers, once you’ve told them to “right click” on something one time, they can’t help but ask you about it every few seconds…this was a special instance.)

Me: “Alright, ma’am, I need you to click on the icon for me.”

Customer: “Right click or left click?”

Me: “By default, always left click, unless I say otherwise.”

Customer: “Alright.”

(5 minutes later…)

Me: “Ok, go ahead and click on that button for me.”

Customer: “Right click or left click?”

Me: “By default, always left click, unless I say otherwise.”

(5 more minutes later…)

Me: “Can you click on that icon for me ma’am?”

Customer: “Right click or left click?”

Me: “By default, always left click, unless I say otherwise.”

Customer: “You already said that like three times!”

 

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PEBCAK, Episode II

, | | Right | March 27, 2008

(We get a LOT of calls like this.)

Caller: “I locked myself out of my computer, and I can’t get in and I need to get in! My password doesn’t work!”

Me: “Okay, we can do a password reset for you.”

Caller: “This is really important, I need to be able to log in!”

Me: “Okay, sir, no problem. Can you just verify your login ID for me?”

Caller: *verifies*

Me: “Okay, great. Now can you verify that your Caps Lock is not on?”

Caller: “What? That’s stupid, why would I… oh.” *silence*

Me: “Sir?”

Caller: “…it just worked all of a sudden, thanks.”

Me: “…”

 

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The (Mystery) State Of The Union

, , | | Right | March 27, 2008

(I was an 800-directory operator. We weren’t information, we just gave you 1-800 numbers.)

Caller: “Excuse me, but what state is Kentucky in?”

Me: “Well, Kentucky IS a state.”

Caller: “Yeah, but what state is it in?”

Me: “Sir, it’s not IN a state. There are 50 states, and Kentucky is one of them.”

Caller: “Well, there’s 52 states if you count Alaska and Hawaii.”

Me: “There’s only 52 states if you count Alaska and Hawaii TWICE. But there’s only 51 if you don’t count Kentucky.”

Caller: *click*

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Playing Doctor

, | | Right | March 17, 2008

Me: “[Hospital] Nutrition, this is ***, how may I help you?”

Patient: “Yeah, I was wondering if I could have some peas. Just been craving them.”

(I take the last name, look her up in the system to check the diet type/restrictions.)

Me: “Um, ma’am? It says you are allergic to green peas.”

Patient: “Yeah, but it’s all right. They just give me a rash.”

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Fax Me A Pizza While You’re At It

, , | | Right | March 10, 2008

(After customer made copies of several $100 dollar bills on a self-serve copier.)

Customer: “I need to send this money.”

Me: “Err–what did you need to do?”

Customer: “I need to send this money to my son. What’s it called? Fax it!”

Me: “…I’ll ring you up for these copies. There’s a Western Union next door.”

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