A Coupon Of Diminishing Returns

, , , , | Right | October 8, 2019

(I’m running a shift at a pizza delivery restaurant when one of my insiders comes up to me and begs me to take a phone call for her before she loses it.)

Me: “I’m sorry about the hold, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “That girl was very rude! You need to fire her and get a new one.”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that; I will talk to her.”

Customer: “She wouldn’t give me the coupon I wanted and is ripping me off.”

Me: “Okay, let’s see what’s going on here.”

(I look at the screen and verify that the order on it matches what she wants. It includes a small pizza with multiple toppings and a side item.)

Customer: “Yes, that is what I want and I have a coupon here that says it’s for $4.99, and I expect that to be honored. I spend over $60 a week here. I’m a regular customer and I don’t like being ripped off and lied to. My order shouldn’t be over $5.00.”

Me: “Okay, well, the side item is $3.99 by itself.”

Customer: “But I have a coupon.”

Me: “That coupon is only for a small pizza.”

Customer: “What? Are you serious? That much and all I get is just a pizza? That’s a complete ripoff. I should get side item for free.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Fine. Take it off, then.”

Me: “Okay.” *gives her the new price*

Customer: “No, no, no! That is wrong again! It’s only $5.00!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, the coupon you have is for a one-topping small. You added two extra toppings.”

Customer: “How am I supposed to know that? It doesn’t say I can only choose one topping. That is false advertising.”

Me: “The coupon specifically states ‘one-topping small’ in its title.”

Customer: *angry huff* “Just take off the two other toppings, then. After all the money I spend here every week, I can’t believe I’m being treated like this.”

(I give her the new price.)

Customer: “HOLD UP! UH-UH, that ain’t right again. I did all the stuff you asked me to do; I took off all the food and the toppings. Why the h*** is it over $5.00?”

Me: “Ma’am, we have a delivery charge.”

Customer: *click*

(You would think after all that food she ordered week after week, she would have been aware of a delivery charge.)

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Unable To Address The Issue

, , , , | Right | October 8, 2019

(I work in a restaurant. We have been getting online orders from a certain person several times with the wrong address. Unfortunately, he usually orders late at night and we end up waking up the real resident of that address and then have to call him to get to the right one. After the third time, we flag his number and an employee lets me know when his order comes through.)

Me: “Hi. This is [My Name] with [Restaurant]. I do apologize but we are unable to deliver to the address you provided. It is not accurate to where you really are and the actual resident has asked us to not bother him anymore.”

Female Customer: “What?”

Me: “The address you provided is not right and we can’t deliver there anymore as the actual resident is very upset with our drivers repeatedly waking him up.”

Female Customer: “Uh… I think that’s the right address.”

Me: “Unfortunately, it’s not. If you could provide the correct address we would be happy to make and deliver your order.”

Female Customer: “Okay…” *hangs up*

(A few minutes later:)

Boyfriend Customer: “My girlfriend said you are refusing to deliver to her!”

Me: “I’m not refusing to deliver to her. We just have the wrong address and need the corrected address before we can deliver.”

Boyfriend: “I did give you the right address.”

Me: “No, sir, we have been out there several times and have woken the actual resident of the address to the point where he has requested his address no longer be delivered to by us.”

Boyfriend: “Your stupid drivers are going to wrong place; I gave you the right address.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it’s been three times now. The address you have given us just isn’t yours.”

Boyfriend: “Let me talk to your manager.”

Me: “That is me, sir.”

Boyfriend: “I want the manager above you.”

Me: “I’m the general manager of this location.”

Boyfriend: “Then I want your f****** corporate number. This is complete bulls***.” 

(I give him the corporate number.)

Boyfriend: “I want my f******–“

Me: “I would be happy to deliver it to you, but I can’t use the address you provided. We have been asked not to by someone we have woken up three times now on your behalf.”

Boyfriend: “Well… every time I order your driver calls me and I have to direct him to my house!”

Me: “Yes… that is because you give us the wrong address each time.”

Boyfriend: *click*

(The girlfriend ordered probably three weeks later with a completely different address and made no mention of the incident.)

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They’re A McDud  

, , , , , , | Working | October 7, 2019

(I’m the supervisor of a little retail print shop, and the store manager has recently hired a new employee against my better judgement. Her only qualification is that she sometimes uses Photoshop at home. However, her cousin works in a different part of the store as a cashier and put in a good word for her, so the manager assumes it is worth a try. Unfortunately, she can barely function in the role she is given. Despite my many attempts to walk the employee through the basics, even leaving printed directions and the phone numbers of other stores in the chain so that on-duty associates can help her if she gets stuck, she never improves. My store manager even sets her up with some online training courses to complete, to no avail. One day, while I am trying to find a customer’s order form so I can quality check it…)

Me: “Okay, so, up next we have Mr. Mc[Customer]. Let’s pull up his order.”

(I head to the filing cabinet — yeah, this print shop is slightly behind the times — and look for the document under M. There’s no form. Then, I look for it under N and L just in case it was off by one letter on accident. Still no form.)

Me: “[Employee], you filled out a form for this customer’s order, right?”

Employee: “Yes. And I filed it under his name.”

Me: “Can you show me, please?”

(The employee walks over, opens the cabinet, and pulls the form from the C folder.)

Employee: “Under C for ‘Mc[CUSTOMER].’”

Me: “Okay. For future reference, if a customer’s last name starts with ‘Mc,’ ‘Mac,’ ‘O’,’ or similar, that first portion of the last name counts, too. So, you’d file a Mc[Customer] under M, and an O’Sullivan would be filed under O, and so on.”

Employee: “Ooohhhhhhh.”

(Unfortunately, my attempt to explain didn’t help. This sort of conversation was a regular occurrence. I always tried to be super polite when explaining these things to the employee, but there were times I really wanted to lose my temper. She was still working there by the time I quit because the store manager felt too guilty to fire his cashier’s cousin, even though she was still struggling to handle her four-hour shift duties after almost a year on the job.)

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Not Meating Your Expectations  

, , , , | Working | October 7, 2019

(My mom, my husband, and I have stopped by a Chinese takeout place to pick up food for ourselves, my dad, and my two brothers.)

Mom: “We’d like six to-go meals.”

(She indicates the Styrofoam clamshells which are the general de-facto meal size here. These come with one side and two meats. There are options for meals with one side and one meat, which comes in a plastic bowl, and for one side and three meats, which is uncommon. We do plan on getting two extra servings of meat on the side, which will make two of our meals ring up as one side and three meats, but we never mention these until later on so we don’t confuse the employees.)

Counter Employee: “Okay!”

(She takes our first order, writing shorthand for each food on the clamshell. She has to pause to ask another employee what the shorthand is for one of the meats.)

Counter Employee: “And you wanted three meats on that, right?”

Mom: “No, we’re getting six meals each with two meats.”

(The girl takes the rest of our orders, pausing once to fill a clamshell. I’m unsure if this clamshell was for one of our meals, but almost speak up about it because she has just filled half the clamshell with the dregs of the last batch of chow mein, which at this point is almost entirely cabbage and celery. After checking with other employees for the shorthand for two more meats, the girl finishes writing our orders and starts filling our clamshells. Almost immediately we see her putting fried rice, [chicken #1], and [premium meat #1] in a clamshell.)

Me: “Wait, is that supposed to be one of ours?”

Counter Employee: *mumbles*

Mom: “That’s not right. We only ordered [premium meat #1] on one meal, with veggies and [premium meat #2]. That plate should have either double [chicken #1] or [chicken #1] and [chicken #2].”

(The girl starts mumbling to her supervisor, who is now trying to figure out what’s going on. My mom asks her to hold the food where she can see it, and rather than holding the clamshell under the sneeze guard where we can see it, she holds it flat at eye level behind both the metal top of the sneeze guard and another employee’s head, at this point standing about six feet away from us. There is NO way to see what’s in there, even for my tall husband.)

Mom: “Can you hold it where I can see it?”

Counter Employee: *holds the clamshell exactly where she held it before, not bothering to move closer*

(The supervisor determines the girl has written the wrong shorthand for [chicken #2]. I had watched as she asked for the shorthand for [chicken #2].)

Counter Employee: *starts filling more of our clamshells*

Mom: “Can I get more than just three pieces of shrimp in the shrimp [premium meat #2] that I’m paying $2 extra for?”

Counter Employee: *mumbles*

(The manager has noticed what’s going on.)

Manager: “The serving size for shrimp is five shrimp.”

Counter Employee: *mumbles more*

Manager: “Do you want us to give you a second serving of shrimp?”

Mom: “No, I want her to give me all five pieces of shrimp I’m paying for, not three pieces and a ton of vegetables.”

Manager: *whispers to the employee*

Counter Employee: *finally puts more shrimp in the meal, then continues making our meals*

Me: “Wait, wait, you aren’t going to fill all three of our meals with chow mein with cabbage and celery leftovers? Was that one of ours that I saw you do that to before?”

(There are fewer noodles in the entire pan than go in a standard serving of chow mein, but almost enough veggies that she could fill ours with “chow mein” if she emptied the pan. They check all our clamshells, and it appears that the meal I saw her fill with cabbage, celery, and a few shorter noodles went to some poor person who didn’t see what she was doing.)

Manager: *to the employee* “Wait until the new pan of chow mein is done.” *to my mom* “The next pan of chow mein is almost done.”

(The manager walks over and says something to the cashier, and as he walks out into the restaurant area I approach him to explain to him just how many issues have been popping up from this girl.)

Me: “I know walking up midway it seems like my mom is being dramatic about this, but this girl has been making big mistakes every step of the way.” *explains exactly what happened before the manager came over* “We definitely will be checking every one of our meals before we pay.”

Manager: “Wow, okay, this is something she needs to go back to training for. And I agree with you to check all your meals. How many people do you have here right now? Would you like free drinks?”

(The manager gives my husband and me free drink cups and talks to my mom, who refuses the cup because she doesn’t drink soda. He discusses what has happened with my mom while my husband and I fill our cups. My husband and I walk back over as they are lining up our meals to check them.)

Mom: “Wait? Why is there another meal with [premium meat #1] in it? We already went through this once.”

(I look at the plate and see that it has chow mein. All three meals with chow mein are supposed to have [chicken #1] or [chicken #2] and the same beef side.)

Me: “That’s supposed to have [beef side] in it.”

(An employee filled a small container with our other serving of [beef side] as the manager told us to just take the mistaken serving of [premium meat#1] for free. In the end, we left with only one serving of the side meat we had planned on getting two servings of because it would have been ten minutes longer to wait for the other. When we got our meals home, I looked at the shorthand labels on them. Almost every one of them was scribbled over and rewritten, and the girl had managed to mislabel both [chicken #2] and [beef side] as [premium meat #1], despite having asked for help with the shorthand for all three of those meats.)

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The Stop Sign Should Be For Her Mouth

, , , , | Legal | October 7, 2019

This story was related to me by one of my friends who is a bit “special.”

My friend was driving on a two-lane highway late at night and came to a stop sign. As she drove up to the stop sign, she looked in her mirror and saw there was a car behind her. She immediately panicked and thought the car behind her wasn’t going to stop, so she went through the stop sign without even slowing down.

That’s when the car behind her put on its lights and sirens.

After the cop pulled her over she tried to explain to him that she had thought that he wasn’t going to stop and was going to crash into her. The officer asked her if she thought that he was driving unsafely. She said yes.

She got a ticket for running the stop sign, but to this day she can’t understand why the police officer wouldn’t accept her excuse.

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