Don’t Do The Crime If You Don’t Know The Bus Time

, , , , , , , | | Legal | May 20, 2019

This story was told to me by my fiancé who worked at the store at the time. Police arrived at [Trade Store] and asked [Fiancé] about two customers he’d served the day before. Apparently, these two were suspected of stealing several power tools the previous night.

The thieves had parked out of view of the cameras and seemed to know where other cameras were while they ransacked the place. Police said they’d investigate, but given the low amount of evidence, the thieves would likely get away.

But the thieves got greedy. They went back! I guess it’s more lucrative to sell items as new with boxes, so the thieves actually came back and took the boxes they’d originally left behind. Again, they parked away from the cameras. The store is in a small, rural town so there isn’t much traffic… except for buses.

As the thieves pulled away, a bus passed them. This was all captured on the CCTV. The police contacted the bus depot, found the bus that went by that night, grabbed its dashcam, and found the registration number of the car that the thieves had driven and the address of the car’s owner.

Police went to the address and found the thieves surrounded by their stolen items — from more than just [Trade Store].

The store has since increased the number and position of cameras.

Liquid Electricity

, , , | | Right | May 20, 2019

(I am at my credit union depositing checks. They are displaying one of those small three-door smart cars inside the branch and another customer is talking to a teller about it.)

Customer: “D***, look at that little car! It’s supposed to save you money, right?”

Teller: “That’s right, sir. It’s a hybrid and get’s 107 miles per gallon.”

Customer: “So, it’s all electric, then?”

Me: “Yep, it gets 107 miles per gallon of electricity!”

A Catalog Of Errors

, , , , | | Right | May 19, 2019

(I work in a call center that supports our product catalog. Normally, when customers call in looking for current pricing on an item, we like to put a record of the transaction on their account. If the customer is brand new to us, we like to get basic info from them so we can enter them into our system. Calls like this happen far too often:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Business]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need to get pricing on one of your items.”

Me: “Okay. Can I get your account number, please?”

Caller: “I don’t have an account. This is my first time calling. I found you online.”

Me: “All right, can I get your business name and mailing address so I can get you set up in our system? It will just take a minute.”

Caller: “I am not going to give you that information. I don’t need you to start sending me a bunch of your garbage, or worse, sell it to someone else; I’ll be getting junk mail for the rest of my life.”

(Our company rules state if the customer starts getting agitated in a situation like this, we can give them the info they are looking for so they can go on with their day.)

Me: “Okay, sir, the price on this item is $[total].”

Caller: “Fine, and can you send me more info on this item?”

Me: “Would you like me to send you one of our catalogs? It has a lot of info on this specific product, as well as everything else we carry.”

Caller: “You guys have a catalog? Can you send me one?”

Me: *rolling eyes* “Yes, we can. Can I have your business name and mailing address, please?”

Must Have Learned Geography At Trump University

, , , , , | | Right | May 18, 2019

(I work in a clothing store that does custom prints and embroideries. We also sell patches of flags with the country’s names next to them. Although most of them are countries, we have one design that is the Confederate flag, with “REBEL” written next to it.)

Customer #1: “Look, they have country flags!”

Customer #2: “Brazil, Canada, Chile, China… Wow, that’s a lot. But what kind of country is ‘Ree-bell’? I’ve never heard of that one before.”

Customer #1: “I think that’s one of the Mexican countries.”

Customer #2: “Yeah, I think you’re right. It does sound a bit Mexican.” *poorly imitating a Hispanic accent* “Rrree-bell! Arriba!”

(Dear God, why?)

Crossover Is The Biggest City In The Marvel Universe

, , , , , | | Related | May 17, 2019

We were traveling to a casino in Mississippi, driving down the infamous Highway 59. It has many places where you must cross the actual interstate. These are called crossovers and each has a sign indicating, “CROSSOVER.”

My parents were from Wisconsin and had no such thing in their state. After about an hour of driving, my mother piped up and commented that Crossover must be a big town, as she had been seeing signs for some time. After a very incredulous look from me, we had a good laugh about it.

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