They Want More Dough And They Don’t Mean Bread

, , , , , | Working | March 20, 2018

(I work in a bakery that takes a lot of large orders. We usually send invoices to customers for these large orders. I am in charge of dealing with emails. One customer wants me to add an extra $1800 fee to his invoice, and then forward the cash to his event planner. I tell my coworkers about it, and the following happens:)

Me: “It’s a scam.”

Coworker: “How do you know?”

Me: “Have you never heard of that before? People try to do this all the time. He even tried to offer an $80 tip, even though I told him there’s an extra gratuity included.”

Coworker: “But how would it be a scam? He’s giving us money and we’re giving it back to him.”

Me: “It’s probably a stolen credit card, or it would somehow work out that his payment wouldn’t go through after we gave him the money.”

Coworker: “I don’t know; it doesn’t make sense to me.”

(Not even two weeks later…)

Coworker: “A customer just called and asked if we could add a fee to her card when we charge her, then give cash to someone else. Can we do that?”

Not So Wild About Mild

, , , , | Working | March 20, 2018

(I am in the drive-thru of a restaurant that specializes in fried chicken tenders. I order a mild tender combo. This happens when I pull up to the window:)

Employee: “That was a four-piece tender combo, with fries, gravy, and a [drink], right?”

Me: “That’s right.”

Employee: “And you wanted those tenders spicy, right?”

Me: “No, mild.”

Employee: “Um… So, like, just slightly spicy?”

Me: “No, not spicy at all. Mild.”

Employee: “We only have original and spicy.”

Me: *restraining myself from slamming my head on the steering wheel* “Original, then.”

The Butt Of The Education System

, , , , , | Right | March 20, 2018

(Two customers in their 20s are looking to possibly buy a snake. Toward the end of the conversation about pros and cons of snake ownership, the topic of cage cleaning comes up.)

Me: “Since the snakes are eating once a week at this age, they’re pooping about once a week, which makes clean-up easier.”

Customer #1: “What? Snakes poop?”

Customer #2: *pause* “Yeah. Everything poops.”

Customer #1: “But they don’t have butts!”

Me, Coworker, & Customer #2: “What?”

Coworker: “Yes, they do.”

Customer #1: “That doesn’t seem real!”

(My coworker and I show her the snake’s cloaca — its “butt”.)

Customer #1: “Oh, my God! Snakes have butts!”

([Customers #1 & #2] walk away, with [Customer #1] repeating loudly, and with amazement, “Snakes have butts! Snakes have butts!”)

Me: “I worry about this country’s education system.”

Don’t Have A Cow, Ma’am

, , , , , , , , | Right | March 19, 2018

(I am volunteering at a local agricultural fair that takes place in my county every year. Participants are exhibiting livestock such as cows, horses, goats, and chickens. All the animals on the fairgrounds are being housed in large barns that are open to the fairgoers. My job is to supervise one of the barns and make sure that people are safely interacting with the animals. The particular barn I am assigned to is one that houses goats and cows. I notice a woman and her five-year-old son going up to a pen with a very large bull in it. This particular breed of bull is known for being aggressive to humans.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I would advise to you not to get too close to the bull, as he is not very friendly towards humans.”

Woman: “Oh, don’t worry about it. I understand animals and their behavior. I have three dogs at home!”

Me: “Right. It’s just that bulls can act very unpredictably towards humans, and we have had some instances in the past where guests were harmed by the animals.

Woman: “I am not an idiot. Don’t tell me how to properly interact with the animals.”

(I shrug it off and walk away, thinking nothing of it. A couple moments later, I turn back around to see the mother trying to boost her son up over the fence into the bull’s pen.)

Me: “Ma’am, what do you think you’re doing?”

(I rush over to the pen and call security.)

Woman: “I want my son to get a better look at the cow!”

Me: “For God’s sake, please stop! You can seriously hurt your son!”

(Fortunately, security arrived. They were able to escort the woman off the fairgrounds. To this day, that remains, by far, the most shocking and unbelievable interaction I have had with a fairgoer!)

Refunder Blunder, Part 34

, , , , | Right | March 19, 2018

(I work in customer service. A woman approaches with two pairs of packaged kids’ underwear to return. She hands me the receipt and I scan both items.)

Me: “A total of $18.90 will go back on your card.”

Customer: *stares at screen where it says each item rings up at $9.45 for a return value* “They were buy one, get one half off. That’s not what I paid for them.”

Me: “On the original receipt it says you paid $12.60 for one and $6.30 for the other. The return value would be $9.45 if you returned one, but since you are returning both you get the full value back.”

Customer: “No, I paid more for them.”

Me: *again, I point to her receipt* “You are getting the full amount back.”

Customer: “No, I paid $12.60 and $6.30 for them, not $9.45.”

Me: “Ma’am, that is for each item. If you add the two $9.45, you are still getting $18.90 back.”

Customer: “Why aren’t you giving back my full amount?”

Me: “You are getting back the full amount.”

(I type both of the two transactions into the calculator to show her they come up the same.)

Me: “See? You paid $18.90 and are getting that amount back.”

Customer: “I still don’t understand. You aren’t giving me the right amount back.”

(At this point, I’m frustrated and there is no other way to tell her that those two totals are the same. I stand behind the counter and don’t say anything. She proceeds to stand in silence, staring at the numbers, for an entire minute.)

Customer: “Fine. I don’t understand why you are not giving me back my full amount. I never get my money back.” *she turns around muttering and leaves without her receipt*

Me: *smiles* “Have a nice night.”

(I really hope she spent her evening trying to learn simple addition.)

Refunder Blunder, Part 33
Refunder Blunder, Part 32
Refunder Blunder, Part 31

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