Shame You Can’t Prescribe Any Common Sense

, , , , , | Healthy | August 8, 2018

Doctor: “How did the new medications work for you?”

Patient: “I’m still waiting for them! The pharmacy still hasn’t called to let me know they are ready to pick up!”

Doctor: “Did the insurance deny the medications?”

Patient: “No, I didn’t hear any response from the insurance yet, either!”

Doctor: “Really? Which pharmacy did you take the prescription to? I can give them a call to check on this.”

Patient: “Oh, I never took it to the pharmacy. I still have the prescription here in my wallet!”

 

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I’m Bringing Pizza Back

, , , , , | Right | August 7, 2018

(I work in a busy pizza shop in a college town. On a Friday night, a young woman makes a carry-out order for seven pizzas. It is picked up without incident, but later we get a call from the customer’s friend.)

Customer: “Hi, my friend ordered an extra pizza by accident; we only meant to get six pizzas. We’d like a refund, please.”

Me: “Okay, if you bring it back to the store, we can give you your money back for the extra pizza.”

Customer: “What? No, you’re going to send someone here to pick it up.”

Me: “I’m afraid that since this was a carry-out order, we can’t send someone to take it from you. You’ll have to bring it back yourself.”

Customer: “That’s incredibly inconvenient for me. Why can’t you just send someone?”

Me: “Because the drivers are paid through the tips and the delivery fees they get from delivery orders. Since it was a carry-out order, we can’t send a driver to go pick it up because they wouldn’t be compensated for their time, and we need them here to deliver other orders.”

Customer: “Well, then, I’ll keep the pizza, but you’re going to give me a refund.”

Me: “I can’t give you a refund if you keep the pizza. That would just be giving away a free pizza; I would get in trouble.”

Customer: “Then you’re going to give me a free pizza next time I order for making me go out of my way.”

Me: *starting to get angry* “Ma’am, you accidentally ordered an extra pizza and we made it exactly the way you ordered it. If you want your money back, you have to give the food back to us; we’re not just going to give you a refund. And we certainly can’t give you a free pizza because you made a mistake in your order.”

Customer: “So, you made a mistake and you won’t even take responsibility?”

Me: “We didn’t make a mistake; you ordered the pizza and we made it exactly how you asked for it. You then picked it up and brought it home.”

Customer: “This is unbelievably inconvenient. I’m just going to send someone to give you guys the pizza, but you’ll never get an order from me again!”

(She never sent the pizza back.)

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Severely In Need Of A Cruise

, , , , , | Healthy | August 7, 2018

Patient: “I’ve been waiting for a half hour. I am in severe pain and need treatment urgently!”

Doctor: “I’m sorry about that. I want to get you treated as quickly as possible. Let’s walk over right now to the Physical Therapy department. Chiropractic treatments have worked well for you in the past, and we can set you up for some chiropractic treatments right now.”

Patient: “Oh, no, I can’t do that. I am leaving on a vacation cruise for a month. I’ll call to schedule when I get back.”

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Tardy Tuesdays

, , , , , , | Right | August 7, 2018

(I work in a bakery that specializes in Jamaican products. For our wholesale customers, I provide a notice asking them to please call if they are unable to pick up their order. If we do not receive a call, their order will not be saved for them. We have one customer who NEVER comes for his order on the day he says he will, and so far he has received two notices, both of which I witnessed him read.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have your order because it was supposed to be picked up last Saturday.”

Customer: “Oh, it wasn’t for pick up today?”

(Today is Tuesday.)

Me: “No, the invoice here says last Saturday. I can see if I have anything extra that I might be able to get you, but your order was used since you didn’t call.”

Customer: “Okay, okay, I won’t get mad.”

(I’m thinking to myself, “No, you can’t get mad, because I saw you read that notice and you never called, so you have no right to be mad.” I go check to see what I have available.)

Me: “Okay, here is what I was able to get you. I didn’t have any [bread]. Would you like to come for it tomorrow?”

Customer: “Okay, but not tomorrow.”

Me: “Okay, when?”

Customer: “The other day.”

Me: “Which other day?”

Customer: “You know, the other day.”

Me: “…”

Customer: *light-bulb goes off in his head* “Wednesday!”

Me: “Okay, sure, no problem. Have a nice day.”

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Getting An Odd Reading On This Situation

, , , , , | Right | August 6, 2018

Customer: “I’d like to find out information about upgrading my membership.”

Me: “Okay, if you were to upgrade it would be $100 instead of $70, and the coverage would be an extra 100 miles of service.”

Customer: “Can you print that out for me instead of just telling me?”

Me: “Sure!” *prints information out and hands to member* “There you go.”

Customer: “Can you read it to me? I can’t read.”

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