My Cup Runneth Over With Bad Customers, Part 2

, , , | Right | February 9, 2018

(Due to a mix-up in the orders, we have run out of large cups. We are informing all customers of this when they order. A woman comes up with a large group of people and my coworker serves them.)

Coworker: “Hi, guys. Just to let you know, I’m afraid we’ve run out of large cups today. Sorry about that. What can I get you?”

Customer: “A large mocha.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry. We’ve run out of large cu—”

Customer: “A small, then. And a large latte.”

Coworker: “As I said, we’ve run out of—”

Customer: “Well, can’t you just fit more into a small?”

My Cup Runneth Over With Bad Customers

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Take A Shot In The Dark

, , , , | Right | February 8, 2018

(A friend is visiting from out of town and has forgotten to bring her contact lens container. I offer her two shot glasses, which we cover with plastic wrap and put in the medicine cabinet. In the morning, my roommate catches me before my friend awakens.)

Roommate: “What were those shots in the bathroom?”

Me: “They are my friends contacts.”

Roommate: “Oh, I wondered why it tasted awful.”

Me: “Wait, you drank her contact lens?!”

Roommate: “I didn’t know what they were! I didn’t know why you’d have two gross shots.”

Me: “You drank both of them?!”

Roommate: “I was confused!”

(Thankfully, the local eye doctor had my friend’s prescription in stock and my roommate bought her a box, so she could see. It was a little pricey, but we declared it an idiot tax.)

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How To Stump The IT Crowd

, , , | Working | February 8, 2018

(My girlfriend’s mobile phone switched itself off and won’t turn back on. So, she’s on the phone to her provider, talking to their tech support.)

Girlfriend: “My phone turned itself off and won’t turn back on again.”

Tech: “Have you tried turning the device off and back on again?”

Girlfriend: “If I could do that, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

(I honestly couldn’t believe this happened, as it seemed too cliché. I understand these people have to ask you to try the simplest fix first, but what use is it asking you to turn your phone off and then on again if the issue is that your phone won’t turn on?)

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Give The Job Seekers Some Food For Thought

, , , , , | Working | February 8, 2018

(I am a cashier in a locally-owned, market-style grocery store. Typically, when people come in and are looking for someone, they come ask a cashier since we are easy to find. During April and May, we do a small round of hiring for summer staff. A guy comes in and tells one of the coworkers he’s here for an interview.)

Coworker: “Okay, do you know with who?”

Guy: “I don’t remember his name.”

Coworker: “Do you know what department?”

Guy: “Uh… I think food.”

Coworker: “Well, this is a grocery store.”

(My coworker took him to meet the manager that was hiring when someone told her he was the only one with interviews scheduled.)

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He’s Pushing Down Daisies

, , , , , , | Related | February 8, 2018

(Thirteen family members live at my house, and it is common to have visitors many of us don’t know. There is an outside gate, and visitors have to use the intercom to be let in the yard. Whoever opens the door may not be the person who answered the intercom. I open the door to see a girl in her late teens.)

Girl: “Hi!”

Me: “Hi, nice to meet you. Come on in.”

Girl: “Okay. Do I sit down?”

Me: “Sure. Have a seat.”

(This is a common scenario for the person opening the door if someone else answered the intercom. Ten minutes later…)

Cousin: “Hey, there’s a girl on the couch downstairs!”

Aunt: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Wait. The girl I opened the door for?”

(It is.)

Me: “Hi. Are you still waiting?”

Girl: “Yes. Where is [Brother]?”

Me: “Let me get him.”

(I knock on my brother’s door and find it locked.)

Me: “Hey. Some girl is waiting for you.”

Brother: *no reply*

Me: “Hello!”

(This is before cell-phones, and he doesn’t have a room phone, so I intercom the living room phone, which is on a separate system.)

Me: “Hey. [Brother]’s door is locked and he’s not answering. Who’s the visitor?”

Aunt: “[Brother]’s girlfriend. He himself let her in the gate.”

Me: *bangs on door* “Hey! What’s going on? That’s your girlfriend downstairs!”

Grandpa: “Huh?”

Me: “Do you have the key? Something isn’t right.”

Grandpa: “Yeah, hang on.”

(My aunt, cousin, and the girlfriend all come up.)

Girl: *bangs on door* “Hey, you s***! I’m here!”

(My grandpa gets the key and opens the door to find… an empty room. Also, an opened window.)

Grandpa: “Where is that boy?!”

(We start organizing a search of all the rooms, all the while apologising to his girlfriend, who is very confused and starting to get pissed. Then, my grandpa looks out the window. We’re on the second floor.)

Grandpa: “[Brother]! He’s lying on the flower bed!”

Us: “What?!”

Girl: “What in the world?”

Grandpa: “He must have gone out the window and fell! Call an ambulance.”

(We scrambled to him and noticed he hadn’t cracked his head or anything; he just had some scratches. He woke up after we slapped him a few times. What really happened? His girlfriend’s parents are locksmiths, and she wants to be one, too. My brother wanted to impress her by locking his door, and then picking it when she came up. Their date, however, was at the hospital getting his head checked. It was fine, thankfully.)

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