Time For Them To Learn Time

, , , | Right | August 3, 2018

(We sell, and provide service for, wristwatches. A man who appears to be in his mid-thirties comes in to our shop with a wristwatch which he has not bought here, but is in all respects a perfectly normal, conventional wristwatch — that is to say the crown is pulled out one click to adjust the date, and one click more to adjust the time.)

Customer: “There’s something wrong with this watch!”

Me: “Okay, let’s take a look at it. What’s the problem?”

Customer: “The date changes in the middle of the day instead of overnight.”

Me: “Right. Sounds like if we advance it twelve hours, we should have sorted it out.”

Customer: “I don’t know how to do that; it’s too complicated. You’re the expert; I don’t understand these things.”

Me: “It’s quite simple. If you pull the crown out all the way, like this—” *showing him* “—then we just wind it on twelve hours.”

Customer: “I don’t understand. This is too technical.”

Me: “Well, the hour hand passes the twelve twice a day — at midday and midnight — but the date only changes once a day. If it changes at midday, it means that it has just got twelve hours out of sync. There’s nothing actually wrong with the watch.”

Customer: “This is all too complicated. You’re the watchmaker; you understand these things.”

Me: “It’s okay. I’ve set it right now. It shouldn’t give you any more trouble.”

Customer: “Have you set the right time? Because it has been running an hour slow these last few weeks.”

(I hadn’t actually looked at the watch too closely, but it suddenly dawned on me that he probably hadn’t advanced it an hour after the clocks went forward a couple of months ago. I didn’t mention this to him, however, as it would probably also have been too complicated.)

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A Forgotten Sign Of The Times

, , | Right | August 2, 2018

(I work in a hotel. A young woman who looks no more than twenty walks up.)

Guest: “Checkout, please.”

(We go through the checkout process. I print out her receipt and she frowns.)

Guest: “Um… This is wrong. I have a special rate of [amount], because I’m with [Grocery Store].”

Me: “Okay.”

(I bring out her registration form that she signed when she checked in.)

Me: “Is this your signature?”

Guest: “Yes.”

Me: “Well, your signature says that you’ve agreed to pay [more expensive rate].”

Guest: *doe eyes* “But I’m with the group!”

Me: “But you’ve agreed to pay this.”

Guest: “Um… I forgot. I was in a hurry.”

Me: *sighs*

(I guess her parents didn’t teach her to read things before she signed them!)

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All Wrapped Up Into One Salad Sandwich

, , , | Right | August 2, 2018

Me: “Hello, may I take your order, please?”

Customer: “I want the veggie.”

Me: “Would you like it as a wrap, a sandwich, or a salad?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

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Sales… Uh… End?

, , , | Right | August 2, 2018

Coworker: “Good morning. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yesterday the roses were buy-one-get-one-free.”

Coworker: “Yes, that’s correct.”

Customer: “But now they’re $12.99 a piece.”

Coworker: “Yes.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. Yesterday they were buy-one-get-one-free.”

Coworker: “Yes.”

Customer: “But today they’re $12.99 a piece.”

Coworker: “Yes.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. Yesterday they were buy-one-get-one-free.”

(And this went on for another seven minutes as the customer kept repeating the same thing over and over and the cashier answered, “Yes.” But she never asked a question… so we don’t know if she wanted to know why they were on sale for $12.99, or why they weren’t buy-one-get-one-free anymore.)

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Breaking Their Fourth Wall

, , , , , | Right | August 2, 2018

(I am working in the deli of a grocery store.)

Me: “How are you? Can I interest you some of our [popular ham] that’s on sale?”

Customer: “No, I need one-fourth of a pound of [other ham].”

Me: “Of course!”

(I slice a piece of the ham he asked for and ask him if the slice is okay and if he would like a sample slice.)

Me: “Okay, and you said a quarter pound, right?”

Customer: “No! I said one-fourth! You people do this every time! First you try to sell me some s*** I don’t need, and then you try to trick me into buying more than I need! I said one-fourth of a pound!”

(I continue to slice his meat and let him rant. I finish slicing, hand him his meat, and wish him a great day. A few moments later he returns and puts the ham back on the counter.)

Customer: “I thought a fourth would be enough, but it doesn’t look like it. I guess you’re not as bad as I thought. I’ll take the quarter, instead.”

Me: “Okay.”

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