The Nametag Hag

, , , | Right | June 29, 2017

(I stop at a grocery store after work and am still wearing my company name tag, from another company. I use the family restroom, not thinking anything of it. When I get out there is a woman waiting with a stroller and two small kids.)

Customer: “That is really rude to use that restroom; it’s meant for families.”

Me: “Sorry, no one was waiting at the time.”

Customer: “What’s your name?” *squints at my nametag*

Me: “Again, sorry.”

(I move to go around her.)

Customer: “I’m reporting you, right now.”

Me: “Well, I don’t work here.”

Customer: “But you’re wearing a name tag.”

Me: “Right, to a different company.”

Customer: “Please don’t insult my intelligence.”

(I go around the store and when I’m checking out that customer is at customer service arguing with them to go and find me and fire me for taking up customer’s rightful restroom. I then decide to save the customer service employee and walk to the desk.)

Me: “She is talking about me; I committed the mortal sin of using the family restroom, and as you can see I don’t work here.”

Customer: “But she’s wearing a nametag!”

Her Bloodline Has Run Thin

, , , | Learning | June 28, 2017

(This takes place in a university physiology class. Everyone in the class is in early adulthood or later. A female student asks a reasonable, intelligent question. This is the response and aftermath.)

Professor: “Mostly only in females in labor, but it can be seen to smaller degrees during menstruation.”

Female Student: “Oh, okay.”

(The professor continues on, and I hear the female student turn to her neighbor.)

Female Student: *whispering* “What’s menstruation?”

Getting Colder From The Truth

, , , , , | Learning | June 27, 2017

(This college is located at the base of a mountain. It even has a ski run on it. If you drive two hours south you are in Phoenix which is at a much lower elevation. The fellow student in this story is from San Diego and two years older than I am. I am a sophomore. It is mid-Autumn, and before smart phones.)

Me: “Brrr, it is cold; I am so tired of this wind. We should take a trip to Phoenix and warm up!”

Guy: “If you are cold why don’t you go to the top of the mountain and warm up there?”

Me: *confused* “You mean take a hike? I guess. I don’t really want to hike, though, and it would still be cold.”

Guy: “No, the top of the mountain is warmer because it is closer to the sun. If you drive to Phoenix you are going further away from it and it will just get colder.”

Me: “What? No, that isn’t how it works; you’re kidding, right? I mean, you do know it snows on top of mountains and stuff?”

Guy: “Well, yeah, but just because there is snow doesn’t mean it’s colder in top of the mountain.”

Me: “Okaaayyy, you do know about the equator and the tilt of the earth right? And atmosphere?”

Guy: “Duh, I had real science. I wasn’t home-schooled like you.”

Me: “…really? I’m not the one who thinks that a 12,000 foot mountain top is warmer than a city that’s barely a thousand feet above sea level because it’s ‘closer to the sun”!”

(The argument continued for a while. He never believed me.)

Turn Right On Left Street

, , , , , | Right | June 24, 2017

Customer: “Hello, what street are you located on?”

Me: “[Street], in between [Road #1] and [Road #2], opposite the big toy store.”

Customer: “Are you on the left or right hand side on the road?”

Me: *silence and confusion* “Um…”

Uneven Understanding Of Even Exchange

, , , , , | Right | June 23, 2017

(I explain to a customer I must return her damaged online item in a separate transaction from her buying the new one. It must always must be done separately.)

Customer: “OH, YEAH, THAT’S FINE!” *almost jubilant*

Me: “Okay.” *somehow knowing it won’t be*

(I return the item to her card, explaining the process as I am going. I ring up the replacement item, which is now even cheaper than she originally bought it.)

Customer: “WAIT. I DON’T GET IT. IT’S AN EVEN EXCHANGE. I SHOULD HAVE TO PAY NOTHING!”

Me: *explains it several times until she gives up and pays and goes away*

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