Should Have Put A Lid On That Comment

, , , | Right | September 28, 2017

Me: *while finishing a customer’s order* “And would you like a lid on your ice cream?”

Customer: “Sure. Wait… what does a lid do?”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “It just keeps the ice cream in while you’re driving, right? I’m okay, then.”

Not Thinking Inside The Mailbox

, , , , , | Working | September 27, 2017

(I am standing in line at my local post office when I overhear this:)

Man: “There’s been a problem; I’ve put my mail on hold, but it’s still being delivered.”

Worker: *interrupting him* “Yes, your mail was delivered to your mailbox.”

Man: “My mail was put on hold because I don’t have a mailbox right now.”

Worker: “Well, you should have been issued a temporary city-given one.”

(In our city, if a mailbox is damaged, it will be replaced by the city.)

Man: “No, I don’t have a mailbox, temporary or not. And now I’m looking for a week’s’ worth of mail.”

Worker: “The mail was delivered to your mailbox!”

Man: “The mail that should have been on hold was delivered to the mailbox I don’t have.”

Worker: “I’m sure the delivery person was just trying to be nice!”

Man: “By delivering my held mail to a mailbox that’s not mine?”

(Throughout this entire conversation, the post office worker continued to walk in circles about the mail, which should have been held, being delivered to either a mailbox that didn’t exist or to the wrong one. No apologies were given, either, and no ETA was given on the missing mail.)

Saved By Math

, , , , , | Right | September 27, 2017

(I am waiting for the receptionist to finish up with another customer before closing me out.)

Receptionist: “Your total bill is $2,720. You get 10% off, and then you paid an additional $1000, giving you a balance of $1,448. Please sign here for your receipt.”

Customer: “No, no, no, no. You did the math wrong. I’m not sure what you did, but you did it wrong.”

(The receptionist follows his bill line by line.)

Receptionist: “Sir, everything is detailed for you right here. I take the 10% off, and then-“

Customer: “That’s where you went wrong; take the 10% off after the $1000.”

Receptionist: “Sir, that would mean you have to pay more money.”

Customer: “This is why you’re a receptionist and not a mathematician. Do my bill correctly now.”

(The receptionist glances over at me with a defeated look.)

Me: “I’m a math teacher, and you did that absolutely right, but you should probably listen to him anyway.”

(She ended up billing him like he wanted to, and he lost out on some of his savings.)

If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Gluten

, , , , | Right | September 26, 2017

(I am working as a waitress, and a group of two adults and three children sit at a table in my section.)

Me: *speaking to one of the children* “Do you know what you want to drink, sweetheart?”

Child #1: “Lemonade.”

(I repeat the same question to the next child and her response is also “lemonade,” and I write both orders down. I then repeat the question to the next child, and he looks at his mother.)

Child #3: “Mommy, can I have a lemonade?”

Mother: *to the child* “No, you can have water or milk. Which do you want?” *to me* “He has several food allergies; he can have milk or water, but no nuts or gluten… Unless your lemonade is gluten free!”

Me: “I can assure you, ma’am, that there’s no gluten in our lemonade.”

Exploding Cat Pee: Ten Years Later

, , , , , | Related | September 26, 2017

Eight-Year-Old: “Mom! Mom! There’s exploding cat pee on the carpet in my room!”

(This gets my attention. I run upstairs to witness the exploding cat pee. I hear and see a loud plop. I look up, and point to the leak in the ceiling.)

Eight-Year-Old: “Never tell anyone.”

Me: “I won’t for now, but I can’t promise forever.”

(Happy 18th birthday, Darling!)

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