Social Insecurity, Part 6

, , , , , | Right | September 17, 2018

(Our store has a rewards program attached to its store credit card, sending exclusive coupons to card-holders. Because they are exclusive to card-holders, only a store credit card can be used as payment when using the coupons. I have a woman in my line who has used one, and pulls out her debit card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you do have to use your store card to use this coupon.”

(This usually isn’t an issue, since it is printed on the coupons themselves.)

Customer: “Oh, you guys make this so difficult! I just want to use one card for everything and keep it all together! Why is it so hard to just buy things anymore?”

(As she’s complaining, she searches her wallet but doesn’t find her card.)

Me: “We can look up your account; it only takes a second. Here, put your social into the pin-pad, please.”

Customer: “The whole thing? Can’t you look it up by phone number?”

Me: “Uh… No, it has to be by social; that’s the only way to look it up from our end.”

Customer: “I am not putting my number into this thing.”

Me: “Well, I’m really not sure what else we can do.”

Customer: “I’m going to write it down, and you type it in on your end. Then you can give the paper back to me.”

(I just sort of stand there, flabbergasted that she thinks giving a stranger a physical copy of her SSN is safer than typing it into a machine where no one else sees it. I take the paper once it’s written down, making sure to keep it hidden from anyone else but myself, and type it in. One of the numbers could be a four or a nine, and I can’t tell with her handwriting.)

Me: “Ma’am, could you tell me which number that is?”

Customer: *looks around at the customers behind her and leans in close, whispering* “It’s a four.”

(I could barely hear her answer, but typed it in and was able to complete the transaction. I understand being concerned about someone skimming the pin-pad for that sort of thing, and we check them every day to make sure that isn’t happening, but I still cannot grasp why creating a physical copy and letting a stranger look at it and type it in is any better.)

Not Making A Choice Argument

, , , , , | Right | September 17, 2018

(I work at a fast-casual sandwich place. Of course, our food is a bit better quality than some sub shops, but everything is still prepped in the morning and isn’t cooked to order.)

Customer: “I’d like the grilled steak sandwich, and I don’t want my steak medium rare; I’d like it well done.”

Me: “Sorry, but our meat is already prepared, so the steak only comes medium rare. We do toast the sandwich, so by the time it goes though the sandwich oven, it will be a bit more well done, but it won’t be truly well done steak.”

Customer: “But why can’t you make it well done? It says on the menu that I get a choice.”

(She then pointed to the description on the menu that states that the steak is choice beef.)

Should Have Used The Online Psychic Service

, , , , | Right | September 17, 2018

(Our store has a system where you can purchase something online and come to the store to pick it up. A woman approaches the customer service desk where I am working.)

Customer: “Hi, I placed an order and I’m coming to pick it up.”

Me: “Okay, can I have a last name to search for it?”

(She tells me her name. Nothing is coming up in our system.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but nothing is showing in the computer that an order was placed. Are you sure you have the right store?”

Customer: “Well, when I was ordering online, I never paid for it. It should still be here, set aside, right?”

Me: “Actually, unless you pay for the items, our store doesn’t get an alert that an order was placed. You have to complete all the steps shown online for the items to be picked up here.”

Customer: “But that doesn’t make sense!”

Me: “Well, maybe next time just call ahead and have us place the items on hold for you.”

Customer: “But that still doesn’t make sense!”

Needs Some Stupidity Insurance

, , , | Right | September 16, 2018

(I work in a call centre where we handle calls for several different insurance companies — primarily travel insurance — as well as our own in-house policies.)

Me: “Good morning. You’re through to [Company]. My name is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Oh, hey. I’m going backpacking next month and my mum says I need insurance.”

Me: “Okay. We do insurance policies especially for backpacking trips. I just need a few details and I can get you a price.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “First, where are you going on this trip?”

(The customer rattles off lots of different countries, including Europe, America, and even Asia and Africa. It turns out he is travelling for almost a year.)

Me: “Okay, so, you’ll need worldwide coverage, but it covers you for—” *I tell the customer all the things it covers him for* “In order to determine a price, I just need a few more details. Let’s start with your date of birth.”

Customer: “Uh…” *long pause* “MUM! WHEN WAS I BORN?”

(I hear his mother in the background shouting his date of birth, which he then gives to me.)

Me: “Thank you. Now, do you have any pre-existing medical conditions, such as asthma?”

Customer: “Uh…” *another long pause* “MUM! DO I HAVE ANY MEDICAL CONDITIONS?”

(I hear his mother shouting in the background.)

Customer: *talking to his mother* “What? I have diabetes and asthma?”

Mother: *in background* “Why do you think you have an inhaler and an epi-pen?”

Customer: “OH! That’s what those are for!”

(At this point my jaw just drops.)

Customer: “Yeah, so, I have diabetes and asthma. Who knew?”

(I finalise the quote, add in extra medical coverage for his conditions, and he pays. When I hang up, my colleague, who must have overheard the conversation, turns to me and laughs.)

Coworker: “That kid is going to wake up in a bathtub of ice with missing kidneys before the end of his first week abroad.”

Not On Fine Form Today

, , , | Healthy | September 16, 2018

(Our clinic gives out a Privacy Consent form to new patients, making them aware that the information given will be forwarded to their doctor when results are ready, and to medicare to claim their Bulk Billing. Our clipboards usually have about fifty forms on them, all the same. A patient comes to the desk with one and hands it to me.)

Patient: *cheerily* “Finally. Here you go.”

Me: “Thank you! Have a seat.”

(I take the top one off and get ready to scan it into his file when I notice the second is filled out, as well.)

Me: “How many did you…”

Coworker #1: *whispers* “Just let it go.”

(I flip through the forms. They are all filled out. Luckily there were only nine left on the clipboard. I’d hate to see what would have happened if there had been fifty like all the other clipboards. Not long after, [Coworker #2] is going through the draws beside me.)

Coworker #2: “I can feel your blood boiling.”

Me: “I just… I can’t. It’s… a shame. He was good-looking, as well. He’s just…. an idiot.”

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