A Student Of The Ticketing System

, , , , , | Learning | November 2, 2017

(I live down the street from a university, and I often go to their library for the free Internet service. Because I’m not a student, I always park in a space labeled “Visitor Parking.” However, I occasionally still get a parking ticket from campus police. The exchange at the parking office usually goes like this:)

Me: “I need to dispute this ticket. I was parked in visitor parking.”

Worker: “Students aren’t allowed to park in visitor parking.”

Me: “Okay, but I’m not a student. My car doesn’t have a parking permit on it.”

Worker: “A lot of students don’t buy the permit. Just because your car doesn’t have the permit doesn’t mean you’re not a student.”

Me: “If I give you my ID, is there any way you can see if I’m in the university’s system as a registered student?”

Worker: “That doesn’t prove that you’re not a student.”

(After this, I’d ask for the supervisor, who would throw the ticket out. But after the third time, I just stopped going. I’m still not sure how I was supposed to prove that I wasn’t a student at that school.)

They Slipped On The Gauges

, , , , | Working | November 1, 2017

(I work in quality control. Part of my role is to manage the calibrated equipment we need to measure the parts we make. Some of it can be shockingly expensive due to how accurate it is; add to this the cost of having it calibrated every year by a laboratory and the cost can really stack up. When someone from maintenance maintenance needs to borrow a set of slip gauges, small metal blocks, I am reluctant, but my boss overrides me and makes me give them to him. I am still worried, so I chase him up at the end of the day.)

Me: “Hey, have you finished with those slip gauges?”

Maintenance: “What? No, we’re still using them.”

Me: “Well, when will you finish with them? I need to make sure they get returned.”

Maintenance: “I don’t know, a week or two.”

Me: “What? We need them in inspection. Why do you need them for so long?”

Maintenance: “They’re keeping the machine level!”

(I made him show me; he had wedged several of the slips under a tonne of machinery. These little blocks cost between £30 and £120 each and are only ever supposed to be handled with gloves. He and my boss both got reprimanded, and the site had to buy them all again, and then pay again for calibration.)

Not Enough Red Alerts

, , , | Working | November 1, 2017

(We have a new intern who isn’t the brightest spark.)

Intern: “Why isn’t this pen red?”

Me: *looking over* “Because it’s black?”

Intern: “But I need it to be red.”

Me: “Well, there’s a red pen in front of you. You can use that.”

Intern: “But what if that pen isn’t red?”

Me: “Trust me, it is.”

Intern: “But how do you know?

(Two coworkers and I then spent close to half an hour trying to explain how a pen that had RED printed on it and was coated in red plastic was an indication that it would write in red ink. I don’t think it sunk in, as when she tried it she seemed genuinely shocked that it was, in fact, a red pen. I should have just said I’d used it previously.)

How To Get A Real Drive In College

, , , , | Working | November 1, 2017

My driver’s license was never delivered to me, so I have to go to the DMV to get another one sent. The employee ends up charging me for a new license, despite the fact that the original one they sent never reached me. I decided to pay for it, since I need the license and it’s not too much.

I end up writing down two addresses: my home address and the mailing address.

My license was delivered two weeks later….

…with my college’s mailing address listed as my home address.

Now, I have a driver’s license that says I live inside the mail room of a college.

Has No Idea What’s In Store

, , , | Working | November 1, 2017

(My colleague is calling customers to let them know that their orders arrived. She leaves a message on an answering machine.)

Colleague: “Hello, this is [Colleague]. I am calling to let you know that your book arrived today. Thanks. Bye.”

Me: *staring at her*

Colleague: “What?”

Me: “You probably should have let her know that you are calling from [Store]. Just an idea.”

Colleague: “Oh, my God.” *cracks up laughing*

(The customer did get her book.)

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