It’ll Get To Where It’s Supposed To Be Going

, , , | | Right | August 21, 2019

(I am in line at the post office waiting to post some mail for work. In front of me is a rather irate customer.)

Customer: “I’d like to check up on a letter posted ‘tracked.’” 

Clerk: “Of course, sir.” *asks for details* “Okay, sir, it appears the letter has been returned to the sender as no one answered when we tried to deliver it.”

Customer: “That can’t be right. This letter is very important; it has copyrighted documents in it! I posted it to myself!”

(The customer leaves unhappy and the clerk and I share a look.)

Me: “Did that really just happen?”

The Internet Is Everything

, , , , , , | | Right | August 21, 2019

(I work in tech support for an ISP.)

Customer: “Is the Internet down? I’m at [Location].”

Me: “I do not show any outage in that area. Are you currently connected to the Wi-Fi?”

Customer: “How am I supposed to know that? I can’t enter my PIN to log in.”

Me: “You are not able to log into your computer?”

Customer: “Yes, the Internet is not working, so when I type nothing happens.”

Me: “If you are unable to log into your computer, then I would recommend that you contact your computer manufacturer.”

Customer: “Are you sure you can’t give me some computer know-how and fix it for me?”

Me: “We supply Internet; we do not work on personal computers. You need to contact the manufacturer of the computer for assistance.”

Customer: “And what, talk to a bunch of [expletive] Indians? No, thanks!” *click*

Not Receiving Instructions

, , , , , | | Working | August 20, 2019

(My coworker is a nice guy, and a really hard worker, but is sometimes a little slow on the uptake. I’m the shipper, he’s the receiver, and we share a workspace, so messages are usually left with both of us regardless of who they are for. Our manager has told us that she is expecting a personal package, and that either of us is allowed to sign for it.)

Coworker: *going through some packages he just signed for* “So, [Manager]’s package… Will it have her name on it?”

Me: “Probably.”

Coworker: “Because this one says $39.46… Is that it?”

Me: “Is [Manager]’s name $39.46?”

Coworker: “No. But it says that, and [Company].”

Me: “Then that is not [Manager]’s package.”

Coworker: “Oh. Okay. So, what should I do with this?”

Me: “Receive it?”

Coworker: “Oh. Okay.”

The Motherboard Of All Misunderstandings

, , , | | Right | August 20, 2019

(We do a motherboard replacement for a customer. Everything seems to be fine except that a moment or two after Windows loads, the screen takes on a yellow tinge. Since it does the same thing when hooked up to an external monitor, we figure the parts distributor has sent a motherboard with a faulty video chip — the logic being that if it was a screen issue, then an external monitor would look normal. I have reloaded the video driver just in case, with the same results. So, I make the dreaded call to the customer, who’s a 20-something kid with a bit of an attitude.)

Me: “It’s looking like the parts distributor sent us a faulty motherboard, since it gets this yellow tinge after it loads Windows.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, it’s supposed to do that. It’s an app I put in which reduces glare at night.” 

Me: “So… you know we’re putting in a new motherboard and it doesn’t occur to you to tell us that you run an app which turns the screen yellow?!

(We try to get as much info from clients as we can – passwords, exact symptoms, what antivirus and version of Windows they run, etc. It has never occurred to me that I should need to ask someone if they TINT THEIR FRIGGING SCREEN. So, we wasted an hour of our time troubleshooting a problem that wasn’t a problem. Under normal circumstances, an issue like this — in my experience — would be hardware-related. And people wonder why I get high blood pressure.)

Has Some Hang-Ups About The Hang-Ups

, , , , | | Right | August 20, 2019

(I am in a specialty department for a major US auto insurance company and I’ve successfully talked to many callers prior to this one with no phone issues. A call has been transferred to me. The number appearing on the caller ID always shows as the transferring customer service rep, not the actual caller, and that rep indicates that the caller refused to give her name or policy number but asked for my department. This occurs after my initial greeting, which includes asking the caller their name and policy number. Instead of providing any such information, I get…)

Caller: “Why does everyone keep hanging up on me? The power company, the bank, the city clerk, everyone! This is the third time I’ve called your company and I’ve been hung up on twice; don’t you dare hang up on me, too!”

Me: “May I please take your number so I can return the call if we are disconnected?”

Caller: “No, I’m not giving that to you. Just don’t hang up!”

Me: “We aren’t permitted to disconnect callers. If the call is dropped, it’s not something we can control. Perhaps, since it’s happening whenever you make a call, there’s an issue with your phone? Do you have another available to use?”

Caller: “Just do your job! Everyone says the same thing. It’s your phone.” *shouting* “It’s not my f****** phone! Don’t you think I’d know it if it was my own phone?”

Me: “I’ll do my best to assist you. May I have your name and policy number, please?”

Caller: “Don’t you dare hang up! My name is Mar—” *click*

(I’m pretty sure it was her phone. I hope she got the assistance she needed, both with the phone and her insurance issue.)