They’re Not In The Upper Percentile, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | May 22, 2020

I work at a money exchange facility. A girl approaches me in my office.

Customer: “How much is your service fee?”

Me: “Hello! Well, it depends on how much you are exchanging.”

Customer: “Yes, but how much is it?”

Me: “The maximum fee is 19.7%, but it depends on how much you want to exchange. How many dollars do you have?”

Customer: “No, I want to know in Euros how much it’s going to be.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s a percentage, and it depends on the amount. It could be smaller, but you need to tell me how much you think to exchange”

Customer: *Patronizingly* “You don’t understand! Since it’s a percentage, how many Euros is it going to be?”

Me: “I’m sorry, no, I don’t understand. It’s a percentage; percentages depend on the total amount.”

Customer: “Yes, tell me how many Euros it will be on the total amount!!”

I just look puzzled.

Customer: “Never mind. I’ll ask somewhere else.”

Me: “Good luck!” 

They’re Not In The Upper Percentile, Part 2
They’re Not In The Upper Percentile

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Their Go-To Response About The Go-Back Rack

, , , , | Right | May 22, 2020

In our fitting room, like many other retail locations, as guests exit, they are encouraged to hand us their rejected clothing so we can process it and add it to a rack of go-backs. I don’t know why many people expect this rack to contain anything other than what’s already out on the floor, but I am constantly trying to gently encourage people away from it, especially since it’s not even readily accessible; it’s literally in associate space.

A customer is rifling through the already precariously full go-back rack. Some things are already flung over it due to being folds. I approach them cheerfully.

Me: “Hey there! Are you looking for anything specific?”

Customer: “Nope, just seeing if I missed anything!”

Me: “Just so you know, this rack is a rack of go-backs guests have just tried on. Everything here is already placed throughout the store, and in much more pristine condition! I can definitely help you find something you like, if you want!”

The customer literally shoves past me to the rack of sale go-backs, which are even further into associates-only space.

Customer: “Nope, I’m fine! Oh, there was a sale top. Another girl grabbed it. Is it here?”

We try to find it and eventually conclude it must still be in a room. She leaves and I start straightening up the disaster she made. Seconds later, another customer comes in and starts yelling.

Customer #2: “My sister was just in here and you made her feel very unwelcome and condescended to! You have a very mean tone and we do not like you! Frankly, we find you very racist!” 

Me: *Startled* “Excuse me?”

Always remember: there are untold goodies on the go-back rack… even though everything on it is straight off the floor.

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They Know How Movie Theaters Work, Right?

, , | Right | May 21, 2020

At the museum, we have the option to “add on” to your general admission different special or travelling exhibits and also 3D movies.

Client: “Hi! I’d like to see the 3D movie with myself and the kids here.”

Me: “Okay, sure! We have it playing at [times].”

Client: “Oh… You mean the movie has specific starting times? How am I supposed to plan on that with my kids?!”

Uh… no! You’re totally right! This is the magic movie theater, where movies start whenever it’s convenient for you!

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Not The Whale Of A Time They Were Expecting

, , , | Right | May 21, 2020

Our museum hosts a special exhibit about whales.

Client: “We need a refund! Your whale exhibit was not at all what was advertised!”

Me: “Oh! I’m very sorry about that. Could you tell us please what the problem was so we can pass it to our management?”

Client: “It was supposed to be a whale exhibit and there are no whales!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. The exhibit is about whales, and we have a full-sized real whale skeleton mounted on display.”

Client: “NO! If you’re gonna call it a whale exhibit, we expected to see real whales! We came all the way from [Place] expecting to see one!”

So, after this happened several times, we realized that people were coming in somehow confused about the difference between a museum and SeaWorld, expecting to see a LIVE WHALE on the fourth floor of a historic building.

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Not Meeting The Bar For Customer Service

, , , , , , | Working | May 21, 2020

I deliver for an app-based food/item delivery service, and I get an order to pay for and pick up from a Mexican restaurant I have never been to before. I head in and they seem busy with a group that has shown up early so I figure that, like most places, the carryouts are handled at the bar, so I stand by the bar and wait.

For fifteen minutes, I wait, periodically meeting the eyes of several of the waitstaff as they pass and serve the people in the front, and some who go back to the back where I assume the large party is seated. At no point does anyone acknowledge me and no one seems to be working at the bar. After I realize how much time has passed, I head to the host stand and stand there for five minutes. Then, a woman walks up to me.

Hostess: “How many?”

Me: “No, um, where do I pay for and pick up a to-go order?”

Hostess: “Over at the bar.”

The hostess waved for me to follow. I stared off into space as if I were breaking the fourth wall in a sitcom.

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