In His Eyes It’s Not So Cut And Dry

, , , , , , , | Right | November 9, 2017

(As my three other coworkers are drying cars off outside, an older man and a boy around five years old walk up to our blow dryers inside and look in. After finishing up the car we are drying, I approach them to see if they need anything.)

Older Man: “See? That’s what the dryers look like.”

Young Boy: “Th-that… is so… coo-cool!”

(They both see me coming over.)

Older Man: “Hello there, young lady! My grandson would like to know what the dryers feel like. Can he go in there for a moment?”

(I glance at the child, who is bouncing up and down at the moment, and it is obvious to me now that he has some sort of disorder.)

Me: “I wouldn’t recommend it; those dryers are extremely powerful and loud. Especially with cars coming through, it’s very dangerous to be in there right now. You can stand out here and observe, but don’t go in, please.”

(At this point, another car has arrived at the outside drying station, so I run back to help. As the car pulls away, the blow dryers turn on for the next car. All of a sudden, a loud scream is heard. We all glance over to see the boy standing in the middle of the dryers, clutching his hands to his ears and screaming. He isn’t moving out of the way of an approaching truck. I sprint over, pick him up, and get him outside. The grandpa appears from around the corner.)

Older Man: “DON’T TOUCH MY GRANDCHILD! What do you think you’re doing?!”

(I immediately put the boy out of harm’s way and back off, just as the giant truck comes out.)

Me: “He was standing in the middle of the dryers! Why didn’t you stop him?”

Older Man: “I let him go in there while I grabbed my phone out of my car!”

Me: “You let him? Even though I just got done telling you how dangerous that is?!”

Older Man: “It’s not dangerous; it’s just a large hair dryer, duh. I should be asking you what gave you the right to pick him up!”

Me: “Sir, those dryers are meant for cars, not people. It’s more similar to an airplane engine than a hair dryer. Besides, your grandson was about to be run over and sucked into the conveyor belt below. And he was screaming and crying from the noise, as well.”

Older Man: “No, you were assaulting him! I will sue you for this!”

Me: “…”

Not Drawing A Picture Of Intelligence

, , , , | Working | November 9, 2017

(I’ve just started a job, and the administrative assistant is showing me my new office. The office has no supplies in it except the computer and printer.)

Coworker: “Just let me know what supplies you need, and I’ll get them for you!”

Me: “Thanks! I think just some pencils, pens, and a pad would be great to start. Oh, and a stapler.”

(She heads to the supply room to get my supplies and comes back a short time later with a box.)

Coworker: “Here you go! Pencils, pens, post-its, pads, a stapler… and…” *she pauses for effect as she reaches into the box again* “…a pencil sharpener! I thought you might want one.”

(I look between the electric pencil sharpener she’s just pulled out and the box of mechanical pencils she gave me. She doesn’t seem to see the issue, as she’s still smiling.)

Me: “Oh, what a great idea! Thanks!”

(She was a nice woman, but definitely not the sharpest pencil in the box.)

Bringing Silly Problems To New Heights

, , , , | Right | November 9, 2017

(I have just recently started working as a customer service rep, and I get some very funny calls about the furniture we sell. I answer this call as normal and am answered with this:)

Customer: “Hi, you’re going to think I’m a total idiot, but I pulled that lever on the chair I bought, and now it’s too tall and I can’t figure out how to lower it!”

Terror-Bytes

, , | Right | November 9, 2017

Me: “Technical support, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I was wondering if my Internet router could be broken.”

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Well, I was wondering if it was possible that my router had started leaking.”

Me: “Leaking? What do you mean?”

Customer: “Well, someone told me that when the routers get old, they could start leaking gigabytes, and that it was really unhealthy for us.”

Me: “No, ma’am. That is not possible.”

Customer: “But someone told me that it could happen when the router gets old.”

Me: “No, ma’am, your router is fine. You don’t have to worry about your router leaking gigabytes.”

Customer: “Well, all right. Thank you.”

An Areyouserious Rex

, , , , | Right | November 9, 2017

(I am at a zoo with a friend of mine. There is a new dinosaur exhibit and we are in line. It is a free exhibit, but to enter, you have to wait in line and pass by an employee.)

Customer: *seriously* “So… There are real dinosaurs in there? Like, we get to see real dinosaurs?!”

Employee: *confused* “They are… like… animatronic…”

Customer: *doesn’t say anything but looks completely confused*

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