Hopefully, This Attitude Will Go Extinct

, , , , , | Learning | March 30, 2018

(I’m on the spectrum and one of my so-called “autistic obsessions” is extinct animals, in particular dinosaurs, but I have a fascination with any animals that have died off, and with finding out what might have led to their extinction. One of our school district’s curriculum requirements is that every school year we have to write a report about whatever topics the teacher chooses. It’s the early 2000s, and the Internet isn’t as much of a staple as it will be one day, so my teacher refuses to allow us to use the “unreliable” Internet as a source; it has to be a book, magazine, or other physical source, since she considers them more infallible.)

Teacher: *looking at me* “And no, you cannot write your report on a dinosaur! If you want to do an animal, it has to be a recent one that someone alive today has actually seen! I want you all to think about what you want to do your report on and let me know tomorrow so that I can approve it before you begin work on it.”

(This isn’t a problem for me, since she hasn’t exactly ruled out all extinct animals, just the ones that weren’t recent extinctions. My grandmother has a large collection of National Geographic magazines, and I know for a fact that she has one with an article on thylacines that I can use for a physical source, so I dig it out and choose them as my topic.)

Teacher: “What are you doing your report on?”

Me: “Thylacines.”

Teacher: “I told you that you can’t do your report on a dinosaur. Pick something else.”

Me: “Thylacines aren’t a dinosaur. They’re a carnivorous marsupial that went extinct in the 1930s.”

Teacher: “I’ve never even heard of it, and it sounds like a dinosaur. You cannot do your report on a dinosaur! I told you that it has to be something that someone actually has seen!”

Me: “People have seen it! There are actual photographs of them, and there are still living people that have seen them in person.”

Teacher: “I told you not to use the Internet, because it’s unreliable! You can’t believe everything you see on there!”

Me: “I didn’t see it on the Internet! I have a magazine with pictures, if you want to look at it.”

(By now I can hear my classmates laughing behind my back and starting to make fun of me for trying to do a report “on a dinosaur,” which is beginning to upset me and make me cry.)

Teacher: “If you want to do an extinct animal, fine, but I already told you that you can’t do a dinosaur, and you picked one, anyway. I’ll be speaking to your mother. Now, go to the library and pick something more suitable!”

(I cried for the rest of the day and was bullied by my classmates, both for crying and being the weird kid obsessed with dinosaurs. The teacher later told me I could do my report on the extinct Jurassic reptile, plesiosaurus, which has never been seen alive by anyone ever. Apparently she thinks the Loch Ness Monster is real and is a plesiosaur, therefore not extinct and actually seen by human eyes, but thylacines, which have confirmed photographic and video evidence to prove they existed in recent times, are not allowed because the name sounds like a dinosaur. The “photographic evidence” in the magazine I used that “proved” that plesiosaurus was still alive was actually the decomposing remains of a dead basking shark that looked kind of like a plesiosaurus. Go figure.)

Giving Their Two Cents On Their Two Pence

, , , , , | Right | March 30, 2018

(I am scanning two small items for an elderly man.)

Me: “Your total is £9.98, sir.”

Elderly Man: “Not a problem.”

(He gets £10 out of his wallet and hands it to me. I hand him his change and his receipt, which shows the price of each item, as well as the total.)

Me: “Your change today is two pence, and here’s your receipt. Enjoy the rest of your day!”

Elderly Man: *stares blankly at me, but doesn’t move*

Me: “Is there something else I can help you with, sir?”

Elderly Man: “Why did you give me two pence?”

Me: “That was your change. Your total was £9.98 and you gave me £10.”

Elderly Man: “No!”

Me: “No? It’s printed right there on the receipt in your hand. See? The [item] was £4.99, and your bought two.”

Elderly Man: “These [items] are too expensive! I won’t pay for them!”

Me: “Um… I’m sorry you feel that way, sir. But you did pay for them, and now you have your change.”

Elderly Man: “No! Look at these price tags!” *shows me one item’s tag, which is ever so slightly smudged, but is still very much readable as £4.99* “It looks like £1.99! I was under the impression that I was getting a good deal! They should be £1.99!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. They’re not £1.99. The correct total came up twice on the screen when I scanned the items, I told you your total, and it’s correctly printed on the receipt.”

Elderly Man: *glares at me, still unmoving*

Me: *realising I’m not going to win this one* “I can process a refund if you’d like.”

Elderly Man: “Yes, you’d better! They should be £1.99! You need to fix your price tags, every last one of them!”

(He snatched his change and stormed off toward a sweet-looking, elderly woman I hadn’t noticed before, presumably his wife. Apparently the items were for her, and he told her that she couldn’t have them because I tried to overcharge him. She left, looking incredibly disappointed. I’m sorry, lady. I tried!)

Takes A Lecture To Get A Number

, , , | Romantic | March 30, 2018

(I’m in a college tutorial class, where instead of a large seminar room, about 20 of us are sat in a smaller room with a few group tables. There is a table I’ve sat at because I think one of the guys is cute; however, I don’t say a word to him. The lecturer wants us to refer to our textbook for the tutorial, but I haven’t bought it yet. The guy I like has taken a picture of someone else’s book on his iPad.)

Guy: *glances over* “Do you want the picture?”

Me: “Uh… Yeah. Sure.”

Guy: “Okay, what’s your number? I can send it to you.”

Me: *being super clueless* “It’s okay; don’t worry!”

(I legitimately go to take a picture of his screen with my phone.)

Guy: “Er, I think sending it to your number is better.”

Me: “Huh?”

Guy: “Jesus. I want your number!”

(After the class, he messaged me and said I made his ploy to get my number quite awkward!)

Lacking An Ounce Of Common Sense

, , , , | Right | March 30, 2018

(I’m taking an order from a table that I’m serving.)

Customer: “I’ll have the beef dinner.”

Me: “All right, would you like the 7-ounce or the 10.5-ounce dinner?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The 10.5-ounce is larger than the 7-ounce.”

Customer: “But, by how much?”

Me: “Um… 3.5 ounces.”

Customer: “But, how much bigger is it?”

Me: *trying to figure out how else to explain it* “It’s about a half larger.”

Customer: “But, is it, like, a really big portion?”

Me: *at this point I have no idea how else to explain it* “Yes, the 10.5-ounce is a sizeable meal.”

(She ended up eventually getting the 7-ounce.)

Totally Quackers

, , , , , , | Friendly | March 30, 2018

(We love the ducks at [Theme Park]. My wife tends to call out when one is trying to get across a crowded walkway, just to give people a heads-up to watch where they are going.)

Wife: *gleefully* “Duck Crossing!”

Teenager: “Oh! Look at all the chickens!”

Wife: “Ducks.”

Teenager: *to friend* “So many chickens!”

Wife: *losing all belief in our school system* “Ducks…”

Duck: *flies two yards to avoid getting trampled, starts pecking popcorn*

Teenager: *to friend* “Did you know [Theme Park] had chickens?!”

Duck: “Quack!”

Wife: *to the duck* “I know, right?”

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