The Importance Of Fact-Checking

, , , , | Right | December 11, 2017

(We have a rather gullible regular who has somehow grown up convinced that if a thing is in print, it has to be true.)

Regular: *as she’s being rung up by my coworker* “Oh! Did you hear? There was a shark attack last week!”

Coworker: “Oh, my goodness! Where?”

Regular: “[Nearby Apartment Complex].”

Coworker: *pause* “Pardon?”

Regular: “Yeah, apparently some family had a shark mounted on the wall. That must have angered the other shark. It broke down the door and bit an 11-year-old on the face!”

Coworker: “…”

Me: “[Regular], that never happened.”

Regular: “It did! It was in the news and everything!”

Me: “[Regular], think about it. How could a shark hold its breath on land long enough to somehow travel five miles away from the water and cross a dozen busy roads, just to break down a door and attack a child? All without legs?”

Regular: “Hold on! I’ll bring up the article!”

Coworker: “[Regular], we don’t mind you Googling it, but there’s a line behind you. I’m afraid you can’t stand here at the registers looking for it.”

Regular: “No worries. I’ll come back and show you the article!”

(She paraded out the door, fiddling with her phone, still searching. My coworker put his hands together and loudly mock-prayed, “Please don’t let her discover Sharknado! Please don’t let her discover Sharknado!” A few days later, she came back, having forgotten about the “shark attack,” but full to bursting about the news that all major movie companies were going to create DVDs that would completely erase themselves after a single viewing of a movie, forcing everyone to have to buy it again to watch it a second time. No one could convince her that the movie industry would become bankrupt virtually overnight if they did so.)

Ironiclay

, , , , | Working | December 9, 2017

I volunteer at my town library, helping with the summer reading club. When kids read for a certain amount of time in a week, they get a prize. Many of the prizes are cheap little toys that, predictably, aren’t the best quality. There is one, however, that is really something special. The prize is a little tub of bouncing clay. The packaging says [sic]:

“Air Dryinging”

“Soft&Light Weight”

“Make little beautiful world with my hands on”

Yeah, you pay for what you get, but I was still the only one concerned that a library program to promote literacy among kids was handing out a prize with this many errors.

An Extra Nugget Of Consideration

, , , , , | Right | December 8, 2017

(My friend is nearsighted and loses her glasses on a week-long camping trip. As we are heading home, I stop by a fast food place to get us some real food for the first time in a week. We are both beyond tired. My almost-blind friend steps up to the counter to order.)

Friend: *staring intently at the menu* “I’ll have the eleven-piece meal.”

Employee: “Do you mean the number eleven, ten-count nugget?”

Friend: *confused* “No, no. It says eleven, right?”

(The conversation continues for a few minutes in the same thread as my friend tries to figure out what she is ordering. Eventually, she comes and sits down with me at the table and opens her nugget box. After eating she turns to me.)

Friend: “You know, I think she ended up putting eleven nuggets in my box, anyway.”

(Thank you for putting up with her, kind stranger!)

Caught Red (Or White) Handed

, , , , , , | Right | December 8, 2017

(A customer starts walking out of the store with a bottle of wine clearly sticking out of his sweater. My coworker moves in front of him to block his path.)

Coworker: “Excuse me, sir.”

Customer: “What?”

Coworker: “What do you have under your shirt, there?”

Customer: *pause* “My skin.”

Coworker: “Come on, bro.”

This Manager Needs To Get Clubbed

, , , , , , , | Working | December 8, 2017

I was working at a sports store and the owners hired a new manager. This manager had never worked at a sports store before but had previously managed a ladies’ shoe store.

Although I was just a worker, I was asked to teach the new manager about the store and about the equipment we sold. The manager was absolutely oblivious to what any equipment was; at one point he held up an elbow pad for hockey and asked if it was a knee pad. I explained to him what it was for, and continued training my new boss.

I left for lunch one day and left him on his own, and after I came back he left for his lunch. Shortly after, a man who was about 6’5″ came in and asked to purchase the clubs he had the manager put away earlier today.

The man gave me his name, so I went to the back of the store and found the clubs with his name on them. I came back out and asked him if the clubs were for his wife.

The man told me they were for him. I informed him that the clubs the manager was going to sell him were in fact ladies’ clubs and were way too small for him. The customer was upset about the fact that the manager didn’t know what he was doing. So, I found a set of clubs in the store that would work for him. The clubs were $300.00 more than the clubs the manager tried to sell him, so I gave him a $300.00 discount and the customer was happy.

When the manager came back, I asked him why he tried selling this tall man a set of ladies’ clubs. The manager said that he wasn’t aware that there was difference in clubs, so he just picked a set of clubs and told the customer they were good for him.

There are so many other examples of this manager’s lack of knowledge. With him at the helm, the store only stayed open for another four months, at which time they went belly-up.

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