What A Cone-head

, , , , | Right | February 2, 2018

(The store I work at is remodeling, so we are closed down. We do not have a fence to keep people out, so instead, we put cones in the entrance of the parking lot. Over the course of the day I have to move the cones back into position because people are moving them. As I am walking back to the restaurant, I see a man getting out of his truck.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We are closed today for remodeling.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? You’re [Store]; you’re never closed.” *proceeds to walk to the building* “What gives? The door is locked? Go open the door.”

Me: “Sorry, we are closed. I can’t do that, and even if I did open the door, there wouldn’t be any food inside.”

Customer: “What? Why didn’t you tell me you were closed?”

Me: “Why do you think those cones that you got out of your car to move were there?”

Burn As I Say, Not As I Do

, , , , , | Learning | February 2, 2018

(I’m in class, and the fire alarm goes off. Everyone stands up, just like we were taught to do in the fire drills.)

Teacher: “Sit down!”

(The class sits down and the teacher takes her sweet time getting her handbag and coat.)

Teacher: “Okay, everybody stand up and follow me! Leave your bags and coats behind!”

The Way They Give Change Is Changing

, , , , , , , | Working | February 2, 2018

(I’m the dum-dum here. A customer comes up with a $15 purchase and pays with a $20 bill. I grab the anti-counterfeit pen and a $5 bill, check the $5, and hand back the $20.)

Customer: “So, it’s free?”

(I then realised what I had done, apologized, and gave the customer her correct change. At least the customer got a laugh out of it.)


, , , , , | Right | February 2, 2018

(A customer comes up to my till with a large tote bin and a smaller plastic filing box. They are the same price.)

Customer: “Why is the smaller one the same price!? That’s just stupid!”

Me: “Well, it’s because the smaller one is for filing.”

Customer: “I’m not putting files in it!”

Me: “You don’t have to put files in it. But it’s more expensive because it has that lip around the inside edge to hang file folders off of.”

Customer: “But I’m not putting files in it! I’m putting junk in it!”

Me: “Okay. You can put whatever you want in it. But it’s still a file box, and that’s why it’s expensive.”

(He ends up getting a different box, instead. Then he tries to pay with his debit card.)

Customer: “It’s not working!”

Me: “What’s the screen saying?”

Customer: “’Enter PIN’!”

Me: “So… enter your PIN?”

Customer: *while entering his PIN* “IT’S NOT WORKING!”

Me: “You’re not done yet.”

Customer: “Because it’s not working! Your machine is stupid!”

Me: “Um, the machine is working; you just have to put your entire PIN in, and then hit ‘okay’ for it to work.”

Customer: “But it doesn’t say on the screen that I’ve entered anything!”

(I look at the debit machine screen.)

Me: “Yes, it does. It has three stars there, showing you’ve entered three numbers.”

Customer: “It’s supposed to have my numbers!”

Me: “No, it isn’t, because your numbers are supposed to be a secret.”

Customer: “Every other store shows my numbers!”

Me: “I assure you, they don’t. Just finish putting in your PIN and it will work.”


(This went back and forth for about five minutes, with his debit transaction canceling three times. It finally worked because he finally put his PIN in. The sad part is he came back the next day to return one of the bins and we had the same problems trying to refund his debit card!)

This Schooling Is Going Down, I’m Yelling Timber

, , , , , , | Learning | February 2, 2018

(It’s the first day back at university after winter break. I’m in a class of fourth-year students doing a history course on the American Civil War.)

Lecturer: “Welcome back, everyone. I hope you had a good break. Now, everyone knows what day it was yesterday, right?”

Classmate: *immediately and enthusiastically* “Pitbull’s birthday!”

(It was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.)

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