When The Only Typing Available Is Stereotyping

, , , , , | Right | August 31, 2010

Me: “Sir, can I help you?”

Customer: “I need a cable.”

Me: “Ok. I’ll take you to our cables. What kind of cable do you need?”

Customer: “Uhm…. a cable. USB? I need to hook up a computer.”

Me: “Here are our USB cables, but could you be a little more specific?”

Customer: *getting angry* “These are not what I need at all! I need a cable! Are you deaf? I need a  C-A-B-L-E. I need one for my computer.”

Me: “Sir, there are a lot of cables. If you could tell me what kind of thing you are trying to hook up?”

Customer: “Is there anyone else on the floor that can help me? Maybe one of the computer guys? You’re obviously too stupid to understand.”

Me: “Sir, I am the only one on the floor at the moment and I am trying my best to help you find your cable.”

Customer: “Miss, why don’t you go back to the registers where you belong and bring me a computer guy?”

Me: “Sir, I am the tech person and would be happy to help you find your cable. Could you show me an example of what you mean?”

(The customer, extremely agitated, goes to a display computer.)

Customer: This is what I want! A cable!”

Me: “You mean a keyboard?”

Customer: “Um…yes.” *sheepishly leaves the store*

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Cooking In High Definition

, | Adelaide, Australia | Right | May 16, 2010

Customer: “I will take one of these.” *points to a small white microwave oven*

Me: “Certainly, sir. Come right this way.”

(The customer goes to the checkout counter and pays for goods.)

Customer: “So, will I need an antenna for this?”

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Gobble Grunt Gobble

, , | | Right | December 15, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you guys sold male chicken?”

Me: “We do sell chicken, but I am not sure we know the gender.”

Customer: “But someone told me that you guys sold male chicken for Thanksgiving dinners.”

Me: “Thanksgiving dinner? Are you talking about a turkey?”

Customer: “Yeah! The male chicken!”

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Totally Plastered

, | | Right | October 30, 2009

Me: “All right, your cast is on nice and secure. It should heal within four to six weeks.”

Patient: “Really? Only four to six minutes?”

Me: “No, four to six weeks.”

Patient: “Okay, four to six minutes.”

Me: “Sir, it’s impossible for it to heal within four to six minutes. It takes about four to six weeks.”

Patient: “Oh, all right.”

(I turn around to fill out his form. When I turn back around, he has taken off his cast.)

Me: “Sir, why did you take off your cast?!”

Patient: “Well, you said it heals within four to six minutes, but you said it was too short. I waited seven minutes… but it still hurts.”

Me: “Sir, your arm is still broken. Four to six weeks is around a month and a half.”

Patient: “Well, why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?! A month and a half is five weeks! Why did you say four to six minutes?”

Me: “I never said…” *I pause and compose myself* “…okay, nevermind. Let’s put on a new cast.”

Patient: “Oooh! Can I have a pink one?”

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We Ain’t Got Jack

, , | | Right | October 28, 2009

(Note: this occurred on October 30th.)

Customer: “Hi, can you help me find a costume? I’m looking for a Jack Sparrow costume for my son.”

Me: “Ah, well, I can tell you that Jack was a very popular character this year, and unfortunately we are out of all our Jack Sparrow costumes, even adults. But we–”

Customer: “What! That’s outrageous! How can you be out of the most popular costume?”

Me: “Well we’ve tried to keep up with demand, but I guess a lot of people shopped early this year. We sold out of many of the most popular costumes, Jack Sparrow being one of them. We have other pirate items.”

Customer: “No, no, no! He wants to be Jack! I can’t believe this! This is the fifth costume shop I have been to today and no one has this costume! Why don’t you people keep more of them around?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am. If you like, I would be happy to help you pull together a Jack Sparrow costume out of items we do have.”

Customer: *walking away* “Outrageous! How can a store be out of the most popular Halloween costumes when Halloween is tomorrow?!”

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