A Different Form Of Understanding

, , , , | Learning | July 25, 2018

(My brother works for a call centre in our home town in Scotland. He has a lot of stories about things like a mobile phone sales campaign where the workers were never, despite repeated requests, given the phone specs, so they had to “improvise.” One of my favourites is when they are dealing with applications for student loans. This is all done on paper forms, with lots of to-and-fro via post. He gets a call…)

Caller: “Hello. I haven’t heard back about my student loan application, and it’s close to term start.”

Brother: “Thank you for calling. May I take your details, please?”

(My brother checks and finds no record of him in the system, even after his usual check for hideously misspelled names and street names, etc.)

Brother: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can find no record of you in the system. It looks like we haven’t received your application”

Caller: *shouting and angry* “What?! You haven’t received it? HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT WHEN I’M HOLDING THE APPLICATION FORM IN MY HAND?!”

Brother: “Well, I take it you’re not studying physics, sir, or you’d know an object cannot exist in two places at the same time.”

(Eventually, he got the guy to calm down and helped him, but he still wondered how the guy managed to qualify for university or even deal with daily life when he didn’t grasp that just filling in a paper form didn’t magically make things happen.)

She’s Only Half Right

, , , , , , | Right | July 25, 2018

(I am working in the meat department of a well-known organic food store. A customer comes up and inquires about the chickens in the display case. Note: these are raw, fully plucked, very dead chickens. They are pasture-raised and humanely killed.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need a chicken.”

Me: “Sure, I can get that wrapped up for you! Which one would you like?”

Customer: “These are all too big; it’s just me at home. Aren’t there any smaller ones?”

Me: “They don’t get much smaller than this, but I can offer you half of a chicken, instead.”

Customer: “Half… half of a chicken? They come in halves?”

Me: “Yes, it’s quite simple. I’ll take care of it right now!”

(I grab a chicken from the case and walk to the cutting board. I cut the chicken neatly in half along the spine using a meat cleaver and mallet. Then, I take the two halves back to the customer so she can choose which she liked.)

Me: “Which half would you like?”

Customer: “You just cut it in half… Right in half! With a knife and a hammer!”

Me: “Yeah, it’s pretty simple to do. You could even do it at home if you—”

(She cuts me off.)

Customer: “No! That was cruel. I don’t want it anymore! That was cruel! That poor chicken. You split it right in half with a hammer and knife!”

(She marched indignantly away, while I stood there, flabbergasted and holding the two halves of the chicken.)

Puts You In A Sun-Daze

, , , | Working | July 24, 2018

(My dad goes to get ice cream. At most shops in this area, a normal scoop costs around $2. This shop, however…)

Worker: “Sorry, we don’t have any more ice cream. But we can make sundaes for $7.50.”

Dad: *pause* “If you have no ice cream, what do you make the sundaes with?”

Worker: “Uh…”

What A Cents-less Waste Of Time

, , , , , | Related | July 24, 2018

(My husband used to work in a shop getting $10 an hour, and quit because of few hours and low pay. The next day, he found a better shop, getting $13 per hour for the same job. My sister-in-law just got married, and her husband is struggling to get a job, so he goes where my husband was working and gets paid even less. We don’t want to make them feel bad, so we say nothing about the new job. One day I go with my sister-in-law to pick up her kid from school, and on the way back this exchange happens:)

Sister-In-Law: “So, where is my brother working now?”

Me: “In a shop at [40 minutes away from his previous job, and 30 minutes away from home].”

Sister-In-Law: “But why so far?!”

Me: “Well, he says he likes it better there, and he gets paid more.”

Sister-In-Law: *as if she is about to teach me simple math* “Is it worth it? I mean, how much more is he getting?”

(I hate her attitude but I don’t want to make it look like I am showing off in her face.)

Me: “Just a couple dollars more.”

Sister-In-Law: *talking as if I am an idiot* “Well, that’s stupid! All the extra money he thinks he makes gets wasted on gas! He is not getting more money; he just drives all the way there for nothing…” *and goes on for around five minutes on how stupid we are*

Me: *trying to sound a bit annoyed just to make her stop* “I don’t care. I mean, he is happy there, so I’ll just let him be there. You can talk to him whenever he comes back.”

(Silence goes for a couple minutes, and then I notice she just drove past her home.)

Me: “Where are we going?”

Sister-In-Law: “I am going to get gas.”

(There are more than four gas stations between the school and her house.)

Me: “Why didn’t you stop before? You forgot?”

Sister-In-Law: “No. It is just that here is cheaper than in the others.”

(She stopped five minutes away from her home to save four or five cents. She was driving a van around the city; my husband drives a little Toyota on the interstate.)

Refunder Blunder, Part 39

, , , , , | Right | July 24, 2018

(A customer comes into the store to return a Wii console.)

Me: “Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s in my car; I’ll go get it.”

(He comes back in and hands me a crumpled receipt, folded over.)

Me: *looks at receipt* “Sir, this receipt is for [Competing Store].”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “So, I can’t give you a refund if you didn’t purchase it from here.”

Customer: “But you sell these here, so I should be able to return it here.”

Me: “Yes, sir, we sell them here, but you gave your money to [Competing Store], not to [Our Store], so we can not return the money we never had in our possession. That’s a loss for our company, and a gain for our competitor, and I wouldn’t even be able to sell this system as new because it has been opened and played.”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager!”

Me: “I am the manager on duty at this time, but I will tell you that even our corporate office will tell you the same thing.”

Customer: “But you have Wiis here! I don’t see the problem!”

Me: *mentally slams head into counter repeatedly*

Refunder Blunder, Part 38
Refunder Blunder, Part 37
Refunder Blunder, Part 36

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