A Three-Course Disaster

, , , , , , | Working | November 6, 2017

My partner and I go out to a local restaurant to celebrate our fifth anniversary. We are seated and our waiter takes our drink order. He looks young, possibly in his late teens. After around ten minutes, the drinks haven’t arrived, so when our waiter walks past, I ask him how the drinks are going. Instead of going to check on them, he takes out his notebook and takes our order again.

I get the impression he is new and very nervous. I don’t want to make him feel bad, so we just re-order the same drinks. Five minutes later, he returns with both orders of drinks. “Oh well,” I think. We were probably going to order more drinks later, anyway, so I don’t say anything.

He takes our food order without any issues and our meals arrive at a reasonable time. Well… my partner’s appetizer and main course both arrive together. That turns out to be a lucky accident, as the young waiter delivers my food to a table nearby. When they tell him that it isn’t what they ordered, he apologizes, takes the plates back to the kitchen, and returns with my meal in take-away containers.

I am a bit peeved, but as it is our anniversary, we both just want to relax and enjoy the night, and the food is actually really good. We decide to risk ordering dessert. My partner orders deep fried ice-cream, only for our young waiter to tell us that it’s not on the menu. I point it out to him on the menu, and point to other tables where we can see people eating it. He apologizes and said he honestly had no idea that it was on the menu.

After finishing our meal, we go to the front counter to pay the bill. It seems our waiter has never used or been trained in using a POS terminal or EFTPOS machine, and has to call other staff for help three times just to enter our items into the register.

My patience is just about expired, but I still feel sorry for the kid, as we’ve been able to hear his boss yelling at him every time he goes into the kitchen. I’ve been the new guy before and totally sympathize with him. I think to try and bolster his confidence and show him some support, so I say, “Don’t worry; it looks like you’re new here, and it seems tough now, but in a few weeks you’ll be a total professional.”

His reply left me feeling so awful. I’ve never forgotten what he said.

“I’m not new; I’ve worked here for six months.”

Ignorant Of The Driveway

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 5, 2017

(I am going to visit my uncle who lives in an assisted living complex. I am about to turn into the driveway, but there is a lady with an umbrella standing in the middle of the driveway. She sees me indicating and turning to go into the driveway but does not move. Thus, to enter the driveway, I have to manoeuvre the car around her, as to avoid her. I do and, unfortunately, my rear left tyre goes into a shallow pothole. As the pothole is not deep enough to cause any damage to the car or tyre, I drive onwards to the gate where I have to wait for the staff to open the gate to let me in. While I’m waiting, I hear a hard knock on my window; it’s the lady I had to drive around. Figuring she may want a lift, I wind down my glass, only to have her scream at me.)

Lady: “YOU SPLASHED ME AND RUINED MY PANTS!”

Me: *confused look*

Lady: “LOOK AT MY PANTS; THEY’RE RUINED!”

Me: “When did this happen?”

Lady: “When you drove up the driveway.”

Me: “Oh, you mean when the rear of the car went down in the pothole, when I drove around you to get up here?”

Lady: “YES!”

Me: “Well, next time, don’t stand in the middle of a driveway near a water-filled pothole.”

Lady: “YOU IGNORANT YOUNG BOY, MY PANTS ARE RUINED!”

Me: “Well, I’m smart enough to know not to stand in the middle of a driveway where vehicles are passing, and to wait on the pavement for a taxi rather than where you were.”

Lady: “YOU ARE BEING SO IGNORANT!”

(By the time she started her rant again, the gate had opened and I wound up my glass and drove into the complex. Seriously, people, look at your surroundings when you are waiting for transportation. Don’t stand in the middle of a driveway or entrance, move away from large puddles of water, and stay on the edge of the pavement furthest from the road. As a pedestrian, you have to think of your safety first!)

Didn’t Register The Order

, , , , , | Right | November 5, 2017

(I drop into the very small department store up the road to get bread and things for lunch. I have about six items total by the time I get to the register. I am third in line. There seems to be some problem with the credit card reader for the person being served. The cashier tries a few things, but something is clearly amiss. I hear someone behind me say, “Excuse me,” but as I am blocking nothing, I do not realize they are speaking to me. I am casually watching the payment drama ahead of me.)

Lady: *louder now* “Excuse me!”

(I turn and see a woman with one item in her hand. She is clearly trying to push past me.)

Lady: “I just need to ask him something.”

(I step to the side.)

Lady: *to cashier* “Excuse me. Excuse me!”

(The cashier is clearly busy and still talking to the lady trying to pay.)

Lady: “Excuse me!”

Cashier: “Just a minute.”

(The payment finally goes through and the cashier looks up to answer the impatient woman.)

Cashier: “Yes?”

Lady: “Is the other register open?”

(There are only two registers in this store. We can all see the other register from where we are standing. We can clearly see there is no one standing by it.)

Cashier: “No. He is on break.”

(The lady looks at the counter, but it is covered with the items being purchased by the person in front of me. I deliberately step forward slightly so that she cannot step between that customer and me. The cashier quickly scans the next customer’s purchases. There is no further problem with the card reader now, and it is my turn. I put my items down and the cashier begins to scan my things.)

Lady: “You could have let me go ahead of you.”

Me: “Yes, I certainly could have.”

(I paid for my things and left.)


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I Came, I Saw, I Stupid

, , , , , | Learning | November 5, 2017

(My advanced-placement world history class is talking about the classical empires, and my teacher has started talking about Julius Caesar.)

Teacher: “Because of Julius Caesar, and his impact on the Roman Empire…”

Student #1: “Wait, what? Julius Caesar was a real person? I thought he was made-up!”

Student #2: “Yeah! I thought Shakespeare just made him up! He was real?”

Teacher: *sighing* Yes, [Students], he was a real person.”

Lack Of Computer Does Not Compute

, , , , | Working | November 4, 2017

(I’m at home, and the phone rings.)

Caller: “Hello, this is Microsoft technical support. We have reports that your computer is infected with viruses and malware. Please follow my instructions so we can fix your computer.”

Me: “Strange, because I don’t have a computer.”

(I am between computers, having sold my laptop to help pay for a newer one.)

Caller: *pause* “But sir, how do you live?”

Me: *taken aback by the comment* “Much in the same way that people did for thousands of years before computers were invented.”

Caller: *longer pause* “Sir, if you do not cooperate, we will lock your computer so it cannot be used.”

Me: “Right, the computer I just told you I don’t have?”

Caller: “Yes, sir. You will no longer be able to use it.”

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