This Student Is Just On Fire Today!

, , , , , | | Learning | August 22, 2019

Some years ago, when I was in seventh grade — ages 13 to 14 — we had physics and chemistry as a combined course. One day, we were all sitting in the lab while the teacher was talking. Suddenly, we all heard a “woosh” and people screaming. One of the boys was apparently bored and had built a small bonfire of matches, doused it with turpentine, and set fire to it! The flames were huge but thankfully died out quickly with a little help from the fire extinguisher. 

Everyone was thankfully okay, but one girl got some of her long hair burnt off, and her T-shirt had no back anymore. It was the only time my class got sent home early.

The girl had to get a bob haircut to save her hair. The boy’s parents had to pay for the haircut and a new T-shirt. The boy had to sit at the teacher’s desk every time we had physics/chemistry from then on. When asked why he did it, he just stated that he was bored and didn’t know how much damage he would cause. The burn mark from the fire was still on that table when I graduated.

Yanya, Meet Janya

, , , , | | Right | August 22, 2019

Me: “Can I have your name, please?”

Caller: “Tanya.”

Me: “Is that Tanya with a Y, or Tanja with a J?”

Caller: “Tanya with a T.”

It’ll Get To Where It’s Supposed To Be Going

, , , | | Right | August 21, 2019

(I am in line at the post office waiting to post some mail for work. In front of me is a rather irate customer.)

Customer: “I’d like to check up on a letter posted ‘tracked.’” 

Clerk: “Of course, sir.” *asks for details* “Okay, sir, it appears the letter has been returned to the sender as no one answered when we tried to deliver it.”

Customer: “That can’t be right. This letter is very important; it has copyrighted documents in it! I posted it to myself!”

(The customer leaves unhappy and the clerk and I share a look.)

Me: “Did that really just happen?”

The Internet Is Everything

, , , , , , | | Right | August 21, 2019

(I work in tech support for an ISP.)

Customer: “Is the Internet down? I’m at [Location].”

Me: “I do not show any outage in that area. Are you currently connected to the Wi-Fi?”

Customer: “How am I supposed to know that? I can’t enter my PIN to log in.”

Me: “You are not able to log into your computer?”

Customer: “Yes, the Internet is not working, so when I type nothing happens.”

Me: “If you are unable to log into your computer, then I would recommend that you contact your computer manufacturer.”

Customer: “Are you sure you can’t give me some computer know-how and fix it for me?”

Me: “We supply Internet; we do not work on personal computers. You need to contact the manufacturer of the computer for assistance.”

Customer: “And what, talk to a bunch of [expletive] Indians? No, thanks!” *click*

Not Receiving Instructions

, , , , , | | Working | August 20, 2019

(My coworker is a nice guy, and a really hard worker, but is sometimes a little slow on the uptake. I’m the shipper, he’s the receiver, and we share a workspace, so messages are usually left with both of us regardless of who they are for. Our manager has told us that she is expecting a personal package, and that either of us is allowed to sign for it.)

Coworker: *going through some packages he just signed for* “So, [Manager]’s package… Will it have her name on it?”

Me: “Probably.”

Coworker: “Because this one says $39.46… Is that it?”

Me: “Is [Manager]’s name $39.46?”

Coworker: “No. But it says that, and [Company].”

Me: “Then that is not [Manager]’s package.”

Coworker: “Oh. Okay. So, what should I do with this?”

Me: “Receive it?”

Coworker: “Oh. Okay.”