You Pecan’t Do That

, , , , | Right | January 22, 2020

(A lady comes up and points at our divinity pecan rolls.)

Customer: “That’s disgusting.”

Me: “Okay?”

Customer: “Something is wrong with those peanuts. They taste horrible.”

Me: “Ma’am, those aren’t peanuts. They are pecans.”

Customer: “Aren’t those the same thing?

Me: “No.”

Customer: “What is the difference, then?

Me: “Well, peanuts are small nuts that grow on a shrub bush underground like a potato and pecans grow on a tree like a walnut.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I didn’t know that. I thought pecans were just a fancy way of saying ‘peanut.’”

Me: “…”

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The Curse Of The Irish (Name)

, , , , , , | Right | January 22, 2020

I work in the credit customer service department for a regional department store in the northeastern USA. If someone calls and doesn’t have their card number, we can still look it up a few different ways, starting with the first four letters of their last name and the first five digits of their mailing address. 

One day, I am supposed to meet my father for dinner after work. Twenty minutes before the end of my shift, I get such a call. I ask for her name, which is not an uncommon Irish name, particularly in the Boston area. I ask for her address, and she tells me that when she opened the account she was living at a hotel and didn’t have a numerical address. So, I start checking every account with her last name and first initial. There’s a lot, and she’s getting angry at me for not chatting while I search. 

When I hit the seven-hundred mark, she says, “Wait, it might be under my husband’s name, [Name with a different last name initial].”

I start over again, searching every account with her last name. 

When I get to eleven hundred, she asks, “Would it help if I went to get the card?”  

Clenching my fist in rage, I say, “Yes, that would be very helpful, thank you.”

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They Will Be Charged For Not Knowing About Charge

, , , , | Right | January 21, 2020

I work for an up-and-coming camera company as a Level 1 tech support agent. I got a customer on the line the other day who began the conversation by letting me know he was an electrical engineer and that he didn’t need to troubleshoot because there was clearly something wrong with his product.

I calmly let him know that I was still required to troubleshoot, as we cannot replace his device without going through the motions. He agreed, though he was clearly irritated. This was his first product and he loudly let me know that he was not impressed at how useless the setup procedure was.

I asked him what the camera was doing, and he said that it was doing absolutely nothing. I had him press the “setup” button, and as he said, nothing happened. I had an inkling of what could be wrong but was baffled by the thought that it could be so simple.

Going through my normal troubleshooting, I had him plug the battery-powered camera into the charger, and wouldn’t you guess, but the camera’s lights all turned on.

I then proceeded to educate this electrical engineer that battery-powered cameras need to be charged in order to set them up.

This, unfortunately, happens at least once a day with someone beginning the conversation with how much technical experience they have, and that is the reason why we have to troubleshoot before replacing.

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No Person At All Would Be Better

, , , , , | Working | January 21, 2020

(As the lead customer service associate, I am responsible for training new customer service associates as they are hired. One woman — not some airhead teen, but a woman in her 40s — seems to have the IQ of a bag of bricks. Everything I say goes in one ear and out the other. I ask my manager to speak with her, but shortly after every conversation, things go downhill again. About six months into her employment, I am sorting returns into their appropriate department bins when I come across an empty container of baby food with a competitor’s sticker on the lid.)

Me: “Hey, [Associate], what’s this?”

Associate: “Baby food.”

Me: “Okay. Um… We don’t take back open baby food.”

Associate: “Since when?”

Me: “Since… ever.”

Associate: “Why?”

Me: “There was a video about cutting drugs with baby food and other weird things addicts do with it. Do you remember that?”

Associate: “Oh, yeah! But it was empty. There couldn’t be drugs in it.” *laughs*

Me: “No, it wasn’t about leaving drugs in baby food. It was… okay. Regardless of why the customer purchased the baby food, they used all of it and you gave them their money back.”

Associate: “Oh.” *shrugs and walks away*

Me: “It also has a [Competitor] sticker on the lid.”

Associate: “Oh, yeah! I saw that.”

Me: *deep breath* “And you returned it because…?”

Associate: “Well, she said she took it to [Competitor] but they needed the receipt to give her her money back, but she already threw it away. I told her we didn’t need one!” *proud smile*

Me:Any food product needs a receipt. We don’t take back open baby food. We don’t take back items with stickers from competitors, and we definitely don’t take back things customers admit they bought from other stores.”

Associate: “Oh. I didn’t know that.”

Me: *trying not to yell at her* “Okay. That was all part of your initial training. Please be more careful with your returns.”

(I went to management and begged them to do something about her, but they basically told me that any person at the desk is better than no person at all. I quit the day we both applied for a loss prevention position and she got it.)

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A Uniform Response, Part 3

, , | Right | January 21, 2020

(Most shops close around 8:00 pm in my town, except one which is open until midnight. I finish work at 9:30 and so decide to pop in to pick up a few things. I am in my uniform: a light blue polo shirt with orange contrast and our logo on it and black company pants with an orange stripe on each pocket. The uniform of the store is a dark navy polo with red contrast and the store logo on it and plain black pants. Most employees also wear a radio. The first customer to ask me for help I think nothing of and just point out that I don’t work there. They give me a confused look saying, “But you’re wearing a blue shirt.” The second I’m a tad annoyed by, but they accept their mistake and move on. The third argues with me:)

Me: “Sorry, I don’t work here.”

Customer: “You’re wearing the uniform.”

Me: “Actually, I’m wearing a [Other Store] uniform. The store uniform is dark blue, not light blue.”

Customer: “You’re still wearing it!”

Me: *having gone well past tolerance and patience into annoyance because I just want to get home* “You know what?”

(I then took my shirt off and bundled it up in my hand — I was wearing my gym shirt under anyway — and was rewarded by a slightly offended and horrified look from the customer before they stalked away. I was further rewarded as I walked past the next aisle and spied an actual employee chuckling quietly.)

A Uniform Response, Part 2
A Uniform Response

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