Doesn’t Have A Mortgage, Or A Clue

, , , , , | Right | May 28, 2020

I am a receptionist at a local mortgage company. Answering the phones is always a bit of a minefield. This happened to me this morning.

Me: “Good morning, this is [Company]!”

Caller: *Angrily* “Who is this?”

Me: “This is [Company].”

Caller: *Angrier* “I don’t have a mortgage!”

Me: “Oh, were you calling to talk to one of our loan officers?”

Caller:I’m not selling my house! Why did you call me?!

Me: “Well, ma’am, you called us. Were you trying to speak to anyone in particular or did anyone call you from this number?”

Caller: “No!”

Me: “Well, have a great day!”

Caller: “No!” *Hangs up*

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Not The Right J, F, Or K

, , , , , | Right | May 28, 2020

Customer: “Do you have that new book on JFK?”

Me: “Well, there are always books coming out about him. Several are published every year. One that came out this week is right behind you.”

The customer picks up the book.

Customer: “Oh! This is the one I was looking for. Thank you!”

I say goodbye and leave her to read on her own. She returns a minute later.

Customer: “Sorry, but I’m confused.”

Me: “Oh, is that not the JFK book you were looking for? I can look up to see what else has been published recently.”

Customer: “No, that’s okay. I know this is the one, but when I looked it up online it had a different cover, and it was more about his love life than his politics.”

Me: “Let me get this right. You are looking for a book with a different topic and cover. Are you sure that book your holding is the correct one?”

Customer: “I’m sure. Oh, well.”

She put the book back.

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Waiting For The (American) Coin To Drop

, , , , , | Working | May 28, 2020

I’m on vacation with my son in our nation’s capital, visiting the National Zoo. The vending machines take large bills, and at some point during the day, I buy a drink and get dollar coins as change. Later on, we are buying a meal in one of the cafes and I try to pay with the dollar coins.

Cashier: “I’m sorry, I can’t accept these. We can only take American money.”

Me: “What? That is American money.”

Cashier: “No, it’s not.”

Me: “It says, ‘United States of America.’”

Cashier: “It looks fake.”

Me: “I got it as change in one of your vending machines. You must have had other people pay with them, too.”

She eventually called over her manager to confirm that dollar coins were, in fact, real money. No harm done, but how do you work at the National Zoo and not recognize American money?

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He Gambled Wrong

, , , | Right | May 28, 2020

I take a call in the university office. The way the call is going, I am under the impression that he is looking for an alternative way to pay his tuition fees.

Customer: “I was told you can go to the post office and get a card you can put money on to pay for stuff.”

Caller: “Like a prezzy card?”

Customer: I dunno.”

Caller: “If you’re looking to pay for your fees, the easiest way to do it is through direct credit; you can pay us your fees with your student number in the reference field.”

Customer: “I don’t think you understand, love. I’m trying to put money on my account.”

Caller: “Which account?”

Customer: “I want to put money on my Texas Hold ‘Em account.”

Caller: “You do realise you’ve rung [Polytechnic], right?”

Customer: “Yeah, well, you’re a computer place, aren’t you?”

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An Unrewarding Revelation

, , | Right | May 28, 2020

A customer comes in angrily, holding up our store’s rewards card.

Customer: “Hey, did you know that this doesn’t work at any other store?” 

Me: *Long pause* “Yup.”

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