They’re Blinds To Reason

, , , , , | Working | August 10, 2018

(A year previous to this story, my husband and I moved down the hall in our apartment building. We did everything the landlord asked of us, including taking our blinds to be professionally cleaned. This turned out to be a huge inconvenience, as the landlord required a receipt from one specific cleaning company, who did not make house calls and was located outside the city in a near-rural area. We had to make two round-trips to drop the blinds off and pick them back up. We also did not get reimbursed for doing this. Now fast-forward a year: We are moving overseas. My husband has already left, and I am extremely stressed from dealing with vacating the apartment on my own, as well as the emotional toll of saying goodbye to all my family and friends. I also no longer have access to a vehicle. This conversation takes place on moving day as I am handing my keys over.)

Property Manager: “Okay, I’ve had a look through your place, and it all seems really clean. The only thing is that I haven’t got your receipt from [Blinds Cleaning Company].”

Me: “That’s because I haven’t done the blinds.”

Property Manager: *condescendingly* “Well, that’s going to come out of your damage deposit. The fee for bringing someone in to clean the blinds is [fee].”

Me: “Oh, I know. That’s fine.”

Property Manager: “Why didn’t you do it?”

Me: “Because I did it last year, paid [same fee] to the cleaning company, and didn’t get reimbursed. It also took ages to get out there and back.”

Property Manager: “But you’re supposed to get the blinds cleaned!”

Me: “I know, but it doesn’t make any sense if you’ll just take the same amount out of my damage deposit. The way I see it, by not spending the gas money going all the way out there and back — twice — I’m actually likely saving a bit.”

Property Manager: *silence*

Me: “To be honest, I don’t know why anyone even bothers going out there if you just charge them, anyway.”

Property Manager: “But… it’ll come out of your damage deposit.”

Me: *sigh*

(I don’t think he ever really understood my point!)

The Contrarian Librarian: Looking For Work

, , , , | Right | August 10, 2018

(My mom works at the library, working in the front where most applicants drop off their resumés for open positions.)

Mom: “Welcome to [Library]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to apply for the open position.”

(She hands my mum her resumé, which is put with the others.)

Mom: “Anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Can you help me find this book, as well?”

(She hands my mum a paper with the name of a series on it.)

Mom: “Oh, sure.” *looks it up* “This is a really good series; I think you’ll enjoy it.”

Customer: “Oh, this isn’t for me; this is for my friend. I hate reading.”

Related:
Re-emergence Of The Contrarian Librarian
The Inattentiveness Of The Contrarian Librarian
Attack Of The Contrarian Librarian

Not Too Chicken To Ask

, , , , | Right | August 9, 2018

(I work at a semi-large fast food chain. Like most restaurants, our menu has large pictures of the food in each combo. We have multiple kinds of burgers, chicken nuggets, chicken strips, grilled and crispy chicken sandwiches, fish, etc. A couple is next in line, but they back away to take more time to decide, and I help the next people in line. After LITERALLY ten minutes of looking at the menu, they finally come up to order:)

Girl: “Hey, do you guys have chicken?”

Intelligence Is Relative

, , , , | Related | August 9, 2018

(I am sitting around with my brother and our two cousins who are brother and sister. We are cousins because our moms are sisters. Also, we are all between the ages of 17 and 20. The phone rings, so I answer it.)

Me: “[Brother], it’s for you.”

(My brother takes the phone from me and starts talking.)

Cousin #1: “Who’s he talking to?”

Me: “My Aunt [Not Her Mother].”

Cousin #1: “Is that your mom’s sister or your dad’s sister?”

Cousin #2: “[Cousin #1], think long and hard about who her mom’s sister is.”

Cousin #1: “Oh, yeah!”

Derpy With The Herpy

, , , , , | Healthy | August 9, 2018

(I’m visiting a zoology lab that researches amphibians, which is a facility I’ve never been in before. While I’m sitting in an office chatting with a PhD student and waiting for a meeting, I notice a post-it that says “Clinic” and has a phone number.)

Me: “Hey, that’s not the extension for student health.”

PhD Student: “Oh, no, that’s a [City] free clinic. They do STI testing.”

Me: “Uh… Okay.”

PhD Student: “Yeah, it gets more use than you’d think around here.”

(My understanding of what the amphibian lab gets up to slowly starts to dissolve, when the PhD student speaks up again.)

PhD Student: “Yeah… People just Google ‘herpetology’ without knowing what it means, apparently.”

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