Will Fight You On This Tooth And Nail

, , , | Healthy | August 5, 2018

(I study dentistry at a dental clinic in France. The dental clinic is split into what we call services: surgery, prosthetics, urgent care, etc. That means that a patient who wants the teeth we remove to be replaced by a prosthesis needs to coordinate his appointments with both services. It’s more complicated than just going to a regular dentist, but in France clinics make you pay exactly what healthcare reimburses, making it free for everyone, apart from “better” acts, like implants. The basic stuff is 100% covered, though, and that’s why poor people come here. Every service is clearly labeled. I have this interaction while working in the surgery service, with a patient who has six teeth left, and NO prosthesis.)

Me: “So, according to your file, we have to remove those three teeth.”

Patient: “But you will replace them, right?”

Me: “It says in your file that you have an appointment in prosthesis; they will take care of it.”

Patient: “But I want you to do it now! It’s in two months!”

(It is rather urgent that his teeth be removed, as they have already become infected in the past.)

Me: “Ah, well, then, we can remove the teeth now, and you can go to your planned appointment. In fact, it’s not that bad; we require about two to three months of healing before we can make a fully-functional prosthesis.”

Patient: “What will I do without my teeth, though? I’d rather stay like this and come back in two months!”

(The teeth we’re talking about are premolars. His front teeth, the incisors, are long gone, as are his back teeth, his molars. The premolars serve no purpose if they’re not surrounded or faced by other teeth.)

Me: “Are you sure? They could get infected again and cause you a lot of pain. They’re of no use to you, you can’t eat with them, and we don’t see them when you smile.”

Patient: “I want to keep them! What would I do without them?”

(I don’t know, the exact same thing you’ve been doing for the past ten years with your six remaining rotten teeth? He ended up leaving and refused any care. Bet he’ll b**** and moan when, in two months, they tell him they can’t do a nice prosthesis for two other months…)

Soup Of The Fray

, , , , | Right | August 4, 2018

(I work at a take-away restaurant. It is a quiet evening, so I stand in the kitchen, washing the dishes, while my boss is taking orders at the register. I can hear her serving a customer, and then she comes into the kitchen and tells me that she’ll be at the warehouse for a while. I continue with my work until I hear an angry voice from outside, so I get out to check what’s up. A woman is standing at the register with a bowl of soup. When she sees me, she starts to shout even louder.)

Customer: “HELLO?! HELLO?! How long do I have to wait here until you come?”

Me: “Good evening. I’m sorry I didn’t hear you sooner. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Your coworker just made me this soup, and I can’t eat it!

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. What’s wrong with it?”

(The woman grabs a spoon and starts to stir aggressively in her soup.)

Customer: “You see this? This soup is too liquid! I can’t eat this!”

Me: “Uh… If you want, I can add more vegetables and chicken in your soup—”

Customer: “I DON’T WANT THIS F****** SOUP ANYMORE! THIS SOUP IS S***!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am terribly sorry that the soup is not to your tastes, but—”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU SELL ME THIS SH**TY SOUP?! IT’S TOO LIQUID! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!”

Me: “All right, but you’ll have to wait until my boss comes back, because I am not authorized to do this.”

(She then continues to scream insults at me, getting more and more aggressive to the point that I think she will throw the soup at me, and going on about how the soup is too liquid for her tastes, until I’ve had enough.)

Me: “Would you please shut your mouth?! I’ve already apologized several times to you, and that’s all I can do for now. What… do… you… want from me?!”

Customer: “THE SOUP IS TOO LIQUID!”

Me: “That’s because it is soup; it’s meant to be liquid! Maybe you should’ve gotten a sandwich instead!”

(At this moment my boss returns. Without saying a word, she goes straight to the register and hands the woman her money back.)

Customer: “This place is awful! I’m never coming again!”

Boss: “We’re more than happy to hear that; now please get out of here.”

They Didn’t Come To That Explanation Organically

, , , | Right | August 3, 2018

(I’m sitting in a diner next to a large family, and I don’t think they really understand what organic means, because suddenly I hear this.)

Woman #1: *presumably to the children* “Well, it’s organic milk. The reason it tastes sweet is because it’s from one cow.”

Woman #2: “And non-organic comes from multiple cows.”

Woman #1: “Exactly!”

(You can’t imagine the amount of restraint it took to keep my mouth shut.)

Too Chicken To Call Out The Vegans

, , , | Right | August 3, 2018

Customer: “Hello. Your board says that your curry is vegan; is that right?”

Me: “Yes, that’s right: our vegetable curry is vegan.”

Customer: “But it also says that you can buy it with chicken, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “But then it’s not vegan anymore!”

Me: *confused* “Yes. If you order it with chicken, the curry’s not vegan anymore. If you order it without it, it is.”

Customer: “You’re confusing the customers! How are the vegans supposed to know that it’s not vegan anymore after you put chicken inside the curry?!”

Me: *whispers to myself* “Well, I don’t know. Common sense, maybe?”

So Many Wasted Vacant Opportunities

, , , , , | Friendly | August 3, 2018

(My boyfriend and I are having a ride on a steam train. There is a group of other passengers at the other end of the carriage, talking quite loudly so we can hear what they are saying, but otherwise not being disruptive. One young lady from the group, in her early twenties, goes to use the toilet and a few minutes later comes back to her seat.)

Young Lady: “Oh, my God. I, like, just realised something! I always thought ‘vacant’ meant ‘engaged,’ but when I went into the toilet, I noticed it said, ‘vacant,’ and I could, like, walk in!”

(My boyfriend and I just raised eyebrows at each other as we tried not to laugh!)

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