No Perception Of No Reception

, , , , | Working | July 4, 2018

(I am having terrible cell phone reception with my carrier, which is weird because for years there has never been any issue. I have checked with my coworkers; everybody on this carrier has been having trouble all day, while everybody else has been fine. I decide to call up the rep to report the incident.)

Rep: “Thank you for calling [Carrier]. My name is [Rep]. May I verify your number, please?”

Me: “It’s [cell number]. I am not the owner of the account, but I am an authorized user to make changes as needed.”

Rep: “Okay, thank you. How may I help you?”

Me: “This entire day, I have not been able to get cell reception in this area. I talked to other people on the same carrier and none of them have any signal, either.”

Rep: “Okay, thank you. So, to verify your identity, can you please tell me the security PIN on the account?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I don’t know what that is; my father owns the account.”

Rep: “Okay… I’ve gone and sent you a message to your phone. Can you please read me the security numbers on the phone?”

Me: “Umm… That’s kind of hard when I have no phone reception.”

Rep: “Ooh… Right… Oookay.”

(I started laughing and we managed to go another route. Whatever happened was fixed and service was restored later on.)

To Solve(nt) This Case

, , , , | Working | July 4, 2018

(I am walking down the path between two separate buildings in our retail when I see some employees from another department spray-painting a wall for a mural we are planning. I decide to use the other path so as not to get any solvents or fumes in my face. Later, I am in my department when my manager asks to see me.)

Manager: “[My Name], [Coworker] said that you were walking on the path when you saw [Employee #1] and [Employee #2]. He said that you went over to the other path several feet away as soon as you saw them. Now, I don’t want to have to write you up, but I’d like to hear your side of the story first.”

Me: *confused* “Why?”

Manager: “Well, [Coworker] believes that you were being offensive by trying to get away from them.”

(Suddenly, it clicks. The employees from the other department are two women wearing hijabs.)

Me: “Oh, no, no! They were spraying solvents for the mural.”

Manager: “Ah. I see. Oh, well, [My Name], you’re not in trouble.”

Customers And Math: Always The Same Old Yarn

, , | Right | July 4, 2018

(I work in a shop that sells yarn and knitting supplies. A lady has come in and spent some time looking at our yarn, and since she looks a little puzzled, I go over and ask if I can help. Yarn is usually sold by weight, in skeins of 50 or 100 grams, and knitting patterns tell you how many grams of yarn you need.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything?”

Woman: “Yes, I was wondering if you have really large skeins of dark-grey yarn.”

Me: “I’m afraid these are the only dark-grey yarns we have.” *pointing at different kinds of yarn in 50-gram skeins*

Woman: “That’s such a shame. I have a pattern that says I need 450 grams of yarn! Fifty is definitely not enough.”

Me: *desperately trying to keep a straight face* “You could just get nine 50-gram skeins.”

(It took her at least a minute to work that out!)

Making A Superking-size Mistake

, , , , | Right | July 4, 2018

(Longer cigarettes are referred to as Superkings, and the shorter ones are King Size. This happens at least once every few days, meaning I have to get a supervisor to come and correct the till. Since our cigarette kiosk is around the corner from the checkouts, and the supervisors don’t always answer the phones, it can take a while for them to come around. I’ve worked on a cigarette kiosk for three years and am familiar with the cigarettes.)

Customer: *very confidently* “Hi. Could I have 20 [Brand Cigarettes], king size, please?”

(I get the cigarettes, scan them, and give the customer the total.)

Customer: “Oh, no, I meant the long ones, obviously! You must be new on the kiosk.”

(They then huffed as I waited for a supervisor to void out the “wrong cigarettes.” I’ve taken to double-checking every cigarette pack with the customer to make sure they’re right!)

A Very Taxing Explanation, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | July 4, 2018

(My store is running a sale, and we sent out an ad for it. A faucet that is normally $150.00 is on sale for $75.00. We have sold a ton in the past few days without a problem.)

Customer: “I want two of those sale faucets from the ad!”

Me: “Wonderful, let me run and get those for you, and I’ll be right back!”

(I run and get them from the storage room and return.)

Me: “Great, your total is $160.88 with tax.”

Customer: “No. I’m only paying $150.00 for both. Change your prices so I can swipe my card.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t do that. The faucets are $75.00 each, and with tax, that is $160.88.”

Customer: “I already said no! Set the price to the sales price.”

Me: “I rang you up at the sale price, ma’am. The additional charge is just state tax, and I have no control over that.”

Customer: “Stop trying to scam your customers. If you don’t sell them to me at $150.00, I will sue you for false advertising!” *she shows me her phone* “When I put in the prices, it shows as $150.00 on my phone. So, that is what I will pay!”

Me: “That’s because you did not add in tax, ma’am, and our advertisement does mention that tax will apply. It is state tax.”

Customer: “I will sue! Change the price”

Me: “Ma’am, this is state tax. The faucets are already 50% off. There is nothing I can do about the sale price, the state tax, or the final price.”

Customer: “What is the price for just one faucet?”

Me: “With tax, $80.44.”

Customer: *doing the math on her phone* “Liar! Look! My phone says it would be $80.43.”

Me: “The computer automatically rounds up to the nearest cent, ma’am. It would be $88.437.”

Customer: “No, you just want to overcharge me!”

Me: “By tenths of a cent? Do you have a tenth-of-a-cent coin?”

(The customer behind her starts laughing, which makes her angry. She storms out, still threatening to sue.)

Next Customer: “I’ll take those faucets. Feel free to charge me tax.”

A Very Taxing Explanation

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