Discovering New Dimensions Of Unreasonableness

, , , , , | Right | November 14, 2017

(I work at a photo center as a technician. We develop pictures in all standard sizes, ranging from wallet to giant posters, and usually can do almost anything with pictures. Note that a 4×8 is a small, long rectangle and an 8×10 is more of a square, two completely different shapes.)

Me: “Good morning! How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Hello! I need this picture to be an 8×10, please.” *hands me an invitation that measures 4×8*

Me: “Okay, just so you know, due to the shape of this picture, there will be a little white around the edges to make up for the missing space.”

Customer: “Oh, no! That won’t do! I need it to cover the whole 8×10 area!”

Me: “Well, in that case, the only thing I can do is stretch the image to make it reach the top, but the image will be squashed.”

Customer: “No! That won’t do either! I just want this to be in an 8×10! How hard could it be?!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, due to the law of mass it is physically impossible to put something with these measurements into an 8×10 without either squashing the image or having a small amount of space left over. If you like, I can cut the space off once it is printed.”

Customer: “NO! THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT! YOU WILL DO THIS FOR ME!”

Me: “Ma’am, what you are asking would require me to break a law of physics. That is not possible!”

Customer: “Fine! If you will not print this for me, I will go find someone who will!”

Me: *under my breath* “Good luck, ma’am! I hear Stephen Hawking is hard to get a hold of, though.”

Their Math Training Is Cheap

, , , , , , | Working | November 13, 2017

(I decide to stop by a fast food place because I have a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a popular burger. I drive up to the window and place my order.)

Cashier: “Oh, that’s on special right now, two for $3. Did you want two?”

Me: “Uh… Yes, I have a coupon to buy one, get one free.”

(She repeats my order back and tells me my total is $3.21. I’m a little confused, so when I get to the window I ask why it’s so much because the burger itself is $1.99.)

Cashier: “Oh, it’s because it’s buy two for $3, and then tax.”

Me: “But I have the BOGO coupon…”Cas

Cashier: “Oh, this way is a better deal, so you can save your coupon for when they aren’t on sale. It’s cheaper with the sale than with the coupon.”

(I tried to explain the math to her but she didn’t understand, and kept reiterating that her way was cheaper. Finally, frustrated beyond reason, I asked her to ring it up using the coupon and tell me which was cheaper. She seemed honestly shocked that $2.14 was less than $3.21. She rang it up correctly and handed me my food, and as I was about to pull away I heard her telling her coworkers that they were wrong all those times they told people it was cheaper.)

It’s About To Become An Even Bigger Deal

, , , , , , , | Right | November 13, 2017

(I am the manager on duty and have just received a call that we need to evacuate due to a gas leak. I am trying to contact my boss and evacuate the customers when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Hey, I need to ask you something.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’ve actually been asked to evacuate due to a gas leak. It will have to wait.”

Customer: “Look, that’s not important. I need you to answer a question for me.”

Me: “No, sir, we have been ordered to evacuate. This is urgent. You need to leave the premises immediately.”

Customer: *getting irate* “I don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal out of this.”

Me: *giving up* “It is a big deal, but what can I help you with?”

Customer: “Which one of these lighters works best?”

Engineered The Perfect Misunderstanding

, , , , , | Learning | November 13, 2017

(I’m checking engineers in at an alumni event where they each receive a name tag, but I am neither an engineer nor an alumni of the school.)

Engineer: “Where’s your name tag?”

Me: “I’m not an engineer.”

Engineer: “Don’t worry; it’s not that hard. Just peel the back off and stick it to your shirt.”

Bluetooth, Meet Your Great Great Great Grandfather

, , , , | Working | November 13, 2017

(I am working at an office where we are allowed to listen to music. While I am not that tech-savvy, I know more than the average coworker, so they often come to me for tech-questions first. I am in my late-twenties.)

Coworker: *in her mid-twenties* “[My Name], can you help me with the radio?”

Me: “Sure, I can try. What’s wrong?”

Coworker: “Well, this stereo has an option for ‘phono,’ but when I push it, it won’t connect to my phone. My phone can’t find it.”

Me: *staring, until realising she is not joking* “’Phono’ stands for ‘Phonograph.’ It’s so you can hook up a phonograph system?”

Coworker: *blank stare*

Me: “Like, a system you can play an LP record on?”

Coworker: “Oh… OH!” *catching on* “Wow, this system is really old, then!”

Me: “I suddenly feel very, very old.”

Page 182/271First...180181182183184...Last
« Previous
Next »