Can’t Filter Through The Filters

, , , | Right | August 16, 2018

(A customer approaches the counter.)

Customer: “I’m looking for an oil filter; can you help me?”

Me: “No problem. What type are you looking for?”

Customer: “I told you, I need an oil filter.”

Me: “Yes, but what size are you looking for? We have dozens of different types.”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t know there were different sizes.”

Me: “That’s okay. I’ll just look it up in the catalog. What type of car is it?”

Customer: “It’s a Toyota.”

Me: *getting frustrated* “Okay, what type of Toyota?”

Customer: “I can’t remember.”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

That Snow Reason To Cancel

, , , , | Right | August 16, 2018

(I work at a hotel up in the mountains of Idaho. We get a lot of snow, to the point it still snows during the summer. We have a fifteen-day cancellation policy.)

Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to cancel my reservation for next week.”

(I explain the policy, and tell her that we will keep the deposit which is equal to the room rate.)

Customer: “That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I would like to talk to a supervisor. I’m canceling because there is snow up there.”

Me: “I’m sorry? You’re canceling because of snow? It is the middle of December.”

Customer: “Get me your supervisor.”

(I put her on hold and explain it to my supervisor.)

Supervisor: “Wait, she wants to cancel because we have snow?”

Me: “Yes. Why was she coming to the mountains in winter in the first place?”

(The customer didn’t end up canceling. Where did she think she was going? She only lived two hours away.)

No, We Just Need A Note From Your Mother

, , , | Right | August 16, 2018

Me: “Thank you for calling [Car Rental]. This is [My Name]. Where would you like to pick up?”

Customer: “Do you need a driver’s license in order to rent a car?”

Me: “Yes, you need to have a current valid driver’s license.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: *facepalm*

Your Excuses Fell Flat Four Times

, , , | Right | August 15, 2018

Me: “Thank you for calling [Rental Car Agency] Roadside. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I assist?”

Customer: “I have four flat tires and need a tow.”

Me: “Oh, my. Everyone okay?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(We verify the customer is who he says he is, and go over his coverage. I then contact the location where the car was rented from. After that…)

Customer: *very angry* “What do you mean, I’ll have to pay for the service and tires?”

Me: “I’ve contacted the manager at the location, and they stated you drove out of the location out of the entrance and ran over the spikes.”

Customer: “That’s not my fault!”

Bald Eagle Meets Blind Human

, , , , , , | Right | August 15, 2018

(I am part of a campground’s janitorial staff, meaning my duties include cleaning the bathroom facilities, picking up litter, etc. This occurs as I am walking with several coworkers from one of the eight bathroom facilities to the next. As we’re passing a campsite, a camper flags us down from his truck.)

Camper: “Do you guys know anything about the wildlife around here?”

(As janitorial staff, the only wildlife knowledge we have to have is what’s endangered, what’s invasive, and what’s dangerous, but while he could very well be asking for something along those lines, I have a passing knowledge beyond that, as well, so I step up.)

Me: “I’m not an expert, but I might still be able to help, and if not I’m sure I can get a hold of someone who can.”

Camper: “Do you think you can identify a bird for me?”

Me: “I could give it a try.”

Camper: “Well, it was about seven feet tall, and it had these pink and purple stripes up and down it.”

(I take a moment to think, mostly about whether or not he’s being serious.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I have no idea what that could be.”

Camper: “Well, here. Maybe a picture would help.”

(He gets out his phone, brings up a photograph, and shows it to me. It’s a very clear photo of a bald eagle standing on a dune. To this day, I have no idea where he got “seven feet tall,” or “pink and purple stripes” from.)

Me: “Oh, that’s a bald eagle.”

Camper: *looks at picture* “Are you sure?”

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