Xeroing In On The Problem

, , , , | Right | April 5, 2020

(I’m behind the circulation desk at the library.)

Patron: “Hey, can you show me how to use the copier?”

(There is a copy machine, though minding it isn’t supposed to be my job. I walk him through the steps.)

Me: “Okay, you either put your original in this tray, or you can lift the lid and put it directly on the glass. Then, put in ten cents and—”

Patron: “Woah! Woah! I want a COPY! Not a Xeroc!”

(Yes, he does say it like “Xeroc.”)

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Patron: “I knew I should have gone to [Shipping Company]!”

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t understand, sir—”

Patron: “If you put it through the tray it’s a copy, but if you lift the lid and put it on the glass it’s a Xerox! The judge won’t take a Xeroc!”

Me: “Sir, I assure you they’re the same thing.”

Patron: “I’ve spent a lot of money on this divorce! I’m not getting it thrown out because I showed up with a Xeroc!”

Me: “I assure you that Xerox is just another name for a copy, and you don’t have to use the lid if you don’t want to.”

Patron: “He said to bring a copy! Not a Xeroc!”

Me: “Okay, but here, look.”

(I make a copy with each method, and show them both to him.)

Me: “They’re exactly the same.”

Patron: “I knew I should have used [Shipping Company]! You don’t know anything!”

(He grabbed his copies and stormed out.)

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Feeling Doubly Guilty

, , , , | Right | April 5, 2020

(My dad orders pizza for me because he is going to be out for the night. After an hour, I get frustrated and call the pizza place I think he called.)

Me: “Hi. My dad ordered a pizza from here an hour ago, and we haven’t gotten the delivery yet.”

Pizza Place #1 Worker: “All right, if you tell us your name, we’ll make sure it’s sent right out to you.”

Me: “I live at [address], and my name is [My Name].”

(The call ends, and another half-hour later, still nothing. I call the pizza place once more and ask to speak to the manager.)

Pizza Place #1 Manager: “I’m sorry, but I have no record of your order. If you could tell me what it is, I’ll have it made and sent out immediately, no charge.”

Me: “Thanks, my order is [order], and I live at [address].”

(Twenty minutes later, I get the pizza I ordered… from a different place.)

Pizza Place #2 Driver: “All right, here’s your order.”

Me: “Thanks.” *pays driver*

(Ten minutes after that, I get the pizza from [Place #1]. Obviously, I’m more than a little confused by now.)

Me: “Um… thanks? Let me get the money.”

Pizza Place #1 Driver: “Oh, no, it’s free of charge.”

Me: “Thank you, then!”

(When my dad got home, he explained that he’d ordered from [Pizza Place #2], and they’d only just delivered the pizza after two hours, which is fairly ridiculous seeing as that pizza place was within a mile of us. Embarrassed, I drove to [Pizza Place #1] and paid them, apologizing for the trouble I’d caused. It was fairly humiliating, but at least the manager appreciated my honesty.)

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I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butternut

, , , , | Right | April 5, 2020

(I notice that one of the donut labels in the case has been put in the wrong place, labeling “chocolate coconut” as “chocolate butternut,” instead. The actual chocolate butternut donuts have no label. I mean to fix it but forget. However, there is a clear distinction between the chocolate coconut donuts which are covered in white coconut and the chocolate butternut ones which are covered in yellow butternut.

A female customer in her 40s comes up to the front.)

Me: “Hi there! What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’ll get a medium iced coffee and… a chocolate butternut donut.”

(I begin to grab a chocolate butternut from the non-labeled slot but the woman stops me.)

Customer: “No, no, not that one. The chocolate butternut.”

Me: *confused momentarily* “Oh! You mean the chocolate coconut? Sorry, someone mislabeled this earlier and I just forgot to fix it.”

Customer: “Oh! That’s chocolate coconut?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Coconut’s white?”

(I sputtered for a few seconds before handing the woman her donut and cashing her out.)

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Taking Into Account That Other People Have Accounts

, , , , | Right | April 4, 2020

(I’m a technical support agent for an Internet service provider. If you enter your account number in the automated system, it automatically pulls the account when your call is answered.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]; who do I have the pleasure of speaking with today?”

Customer: “This is [Customer].”

Me: “Could you please verify the account holder’s name?”

Customer: “It’s… Well, it could be under two names; can I give you the account number?”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “It’s [number].”

Me: “Oh, okay. That’s actually not what came up when you called; let me get the right account. Okay, can you verify the account holder’s name?”

Customer: “It’s either [Name #1] or [Name #2].”

Me: “Okay, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Well, maybe I have an old account? What was the other one?”

Me: “Uh… the wrong account.”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: *pause* “That’s someone else’s account?”

Customer: “Uh…”

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Did Her Brain Stop Working, Too?

, , , , , , , , | Working | April 4, 2020

My husband and I both ordered a salad and entree each with our waitress, who appeared to write a bit on a notepad.

His salad came out and, after waiting a bit for mine before starting, he finally took a couple bites. Then, our entrees came.

We flagged our waitress to tell her I had never received my own salad.

She said, “Well, my pen stopped working,” and kind of looked at us for a moment and walked away.

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