A Different Kind Of Girl Scouts

Event | Friendly | November 19, 2014

(I’m 15 and at a Guides (British version of Girl Scouts) meeting. My group is having a cake sale and raffle to raise money for charity. Friend #1 is tearing off strips of raffle tickets.)

Friend #1: “Ah, I ripped it again! I’m really bad at stripping…”

Me: “Uhm, is that what you really meant?”

Friend #1: “Yeah… Oh, no! No!”

(A few moments later Friend #2 walks up.)

Friend #2: “How much for a strip?”

Friend #1: “£1 each or £2 for three.”

Me: “Cheapest strip club in town…”

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Hiss-terical Parenting

Children, Event, Indiana, Pets & Animals, USA | Related | April 24, 2013

(I am about five years old. My dad always takes my little brother and me to the annual cat, dog, bird, and reptile show. We are walking past the snakes, and I see a baby mouse in one of the containers with a snake. I speak to one of the workers.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir; why is the mouse in there with the snake?”

(The worker looks at my father, who shrugs and gives him the look to make something up.)

Worker: “Well, they’re friends! Right now they are just playing, and soon they will go have dinner and have a sleepover!”

Me: “Oh. I thought the mouse was the snake’s dinner.”

(When I left to go look at some other snakes, the man accused my father of setting him up. My dad had to hold back from laughing so hard.)

This story is part of our Snakes roundup!