Unfiltered Story #160106

, | | Unfiltered | August 13, 2019

I work as a security guard. On this day I am at a convention center working a girls volleyball tourney with about 25,000 people in attendance and maybe 100 or so courts being played on as well as warm up areas, vendor areas, and conference rooms.
Man: “Where’s my daughter’s thing at?”
Me: Are you looking for her match? Are you looking for her team? Is she scheduled for a seminar? Did she lose something? Please be more specific.
Man: *pulls out cell phone and has a brief conversation* then to me, “HER VOLLEYBALL THING ! WHY IS THIS SO F***ING HARD, D*******?”
Me: That way, take a left at hall three and go through those doors.
Coworker: How did you know where he wanted to go? He gave us zero information!
Me: I didn’t. I gave him directions to the loading dock. The doors will lock behind him. He will have to walk all the way back around to the front of the facility, and pay to get in again.
About a half hour later the same man comes back fuming and raging and cursing and screaming and demanding to see my boss, so my coworker gives him the exact directions i gave him before.
He walks away cursing the entire time.
Never saw him again.

You Owe Me An Explanation

, , , , | Right | July 12, 2018

(I am on reception at a leisure centre that has various activities going on at once. It is very busy, as it is the Easter holidays, and it’s raining. An old lady comes up to the desk with her grandson:)

Customer: *in a very quiet voice* “What do I owe you?”

Me: *leaning towards her to be able to hear her* “Sorry?”

Customer: “What do I owe you?”

Me: *still with my head leaning over the counter and whispering too* “I don’t know. You haven’t told me what you want to do.”

Customer: *suddenly louder* “Well, I have never been here before, so I don’t know what to do!”

Me: *in my head* “Perhaps tell me what you want to do before I charge you! I have to do this mad, crazy thing called ‘put information into the till’!”

Married To The Wrong Assumption

, , , , , | Friendly | January 19, 2018

(My brother is a high-ranking officer and is a very racially-mixed white man. His wife is a dark-skinned Filipino woman. When they go fancy military parties, other white military wives think my sister-in-law is a waitress, even when she’s wearing a fancy dress. The following interaction happens a lot.)

Woman: *goes up to my sister-in-law* “Excuse me, but what you’re doing is very inappropriate.”

Sister-In-Law: *confused* “What is?”

Woman: “You shouldn’t be flirting with the officers here. It’s unprofessional, and you shouldn’t risk a man’s career by getting pregnant.”

Sister-In-Law: “I am American, and he’s my husband.”

Woman: “I’m going to talk with your manager.”

(Later on the woman and her husband came up to my brother, introducing themselves. The woman stayed quiet after my brother introduced my sister-in-law as his wife.)

Miss Strawberry Vodka Needs Her Tonic

| Boston, MA, USA | Right | March 30, 2015

(My coworkers and I are enjoying our company holiday party. One of my coworkers, who just turned 21, is ordering a drink. The server is clearly experienced and knows what she’s doing.)

Coworker: “Can I please have a strawberry lemonade with vodka?”

Server: “Sure! I’ll be back with your drinks.”

(About three minutes later, the server arrives with my tables’ drinks, including my coworker’s lemonade. She takes a sip.)

Coworker: “Oh, no! This is too strong. Can you please add some more juice to it? And can you also add some whipped cream on top?”

Server: “Sure, no problem.”

(Our server is back almost a minute afterwards with her drink. As soon as she puts it down in front of my coworker, the following happens:)

Coworker: “I forgot to ask you to put it all in the blender! I can’t have this drink like this. Please take it back and put it through the blender!”

Server: “I am sorry, miss, but you would need to order a new drink.”

Coworker: “Why? It’s just a quick ten seconds on the blender! How is that too hard for you to do?”

Server: “I apologize but this is company policy. Would you like to order a frozen drink instead?”

Coworker: “Never mind! You’re so unhelpful! I would like to speak to your manager!”

Me & Other Coworkers: “Shut up and drink your cocktail!”

(We found out that my coworker did not tip our server. We all gave a little extra on our tips to make up for her abrasiveness. Our server was really happy to know not all of us were like my coworker!)

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She Passed With Flying Colors

| NY, USA | Right | January 15, 2015

(I organize events for special needs children and their families. I also work as a female clown. A little girl has approached my table.)

Me: “Well, hi there! Would you like to get your face painted today?”

Girl: “Yes! I want [Popular Children’s Character]!”

(She takes a seat, and as I get my supplies I notice she is staring at my head. I am bald due to a medical condition, so I wear nice-quality wigs which, despite their artificial colors, are often mistaken as real hair. Today I’m wearing bright pink.)

Me: “All righty, then! [Children’s Character] it is. My name is [My Clown Name]; what’s your name?”

Girl: “[Girl].” *pauses as I ready the paints* “How is your hair pink? Is it REALLY pink or fake? I don’t think hair can actually be like that.”

(Her mother begins to speak up, but I wink at her.)

Me: “Well, I have special hair! I can make it any color I want. Today it’s pink, but tomorrow it might not be.”

Girl: “Wow! Is that magic?”

Me: “Yup, it’s kind of like magic!”

(I proceed to paint her face, fielding several questions about my ‘powers’ to the amusement of the mother. Later the mother explains that due to her rabid love of this popular ‘magical’ franchise, other kids have begun to make her doubt the existence of magic. Weeks later, I am hosting a Halloween event when I spot the same little girl, dressed as one of the franchise characters.)

Me: “Hi, [Girl]! I like your costume.”

Girl: “Thanks! It’s my favorite—”

(She stops abruptly and her eyes go wide. Sure enough, I am wearing a curly purple wig. Her mother grins.)

Girl: “Whoooooaaaaaa.” *to her mother* “Mommy, look!”

Mother: “See? I told you it was real magic!”

(As if on cue, my coworker comes out from behind a trick-or-treat door, dressed as [Main Franchise Character] and signing another child’s autograph. The girl looks starstruck.)

Girl: “Oh. My. GOSH.”

Mother: *laughing* “Aaaaaaaand that’s just made our Halloween.”

(It made mine, too!)

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