The Gay Gatsby

, , , , , , , , , | Learning | January 9, 2018

(We’re studying “The Great Gatsby” in English. It might not be explicitly stated, but everyone comes to the same conclusion about one of the character’s sexualities.)

Me: “[Teacher], is Nick Carraway supposed to be gay?”

Teacher: *shocked* “I don’t think so. What makes you ask?”

Me: “The way he’s always describing Gatsby’s beauty…”

Student #1: “And the way that Daisy’s supposed to be really hot, but his only comment about her is that she has a nice voice.”

Student #2: “And the way that he’s supposed to be attracted to Jordan, and he describes her and makes her sound really masculine.”

Me: “And why did he end up in a bedroom in New York with that guy in his underwear… Mr. McKee or something?

Teacher: “Well, it’ll be an interesting topic to think about for your final essay. Now, let’s get back on track.

(By chance, we hit another paragraph with Nick describing Gatsby during the lesson.)

Teacher: *reading out loud* “’There was something gorgeous about him, some heightened sensitivity to the promise of life…’”

(The entire class begins to smile and raise our hands.)

Teacher: “Not a word. From any of you. Not one.”

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Deadly Debating

, , , , , | Learning | November 14, 2017

(My English professor is going over the instructions on a persuasive essay.)

Professor: “You need to acknowledge your opposition — and if you’ve chosen a good, debatable topic, there will be opposition — and you’ve got to be civil about it. As much as you might hate the other side, you can’t just kill everybody who disagrees with you.”

Student: “Is that a challenge?”

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Being A Slave To History Sucks

, , , , | Learning | October 30, 2017

(I am in a rather large advanced Language Arts class. We are in the middle of lesson, in which I have spaced out. I sit in the front row. This is what I hear:)

Teacher: “Yes, Thomas Jefferson! And what did Thomas Jefferson do?”

Kid In The Back: “HE SUCKED!”

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Shakespeare And The City

, | Learning | July 22, 2013

(My class is reading ‘Romeo and Juliet’, and we’re just getting used to the play format.)

Teacher: “Alright, my first class asked about this. I forgot to mention it to my second class, but I remembered to tell you guys. Do you know the difference between exit and exeunt?”

(There is a long pause, before a student has a go.)

Student: “Uh, an exit is just a normal exit, and an exeunt is a FABULOUS exit.”

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