I’m the author of this story. Basically, my job around twenty years ago was assessing small travel insurance claims.

Like the “star” of my previous story, many claimants failed to do the very basic thing of reading the insurance policy they were buying. This led to lots of misunderstandings about what was and wasn’t covered. Sometimes I felt sorry for people who ended up not covered for genuine medical emergencies while on vacation, but there were also many who made assumptions and, frankly, took the piss.

One such case that sticks in my mind was a lady whose flight was delayed, as I recall for around twelve hours. Knowing that she was insured for flight delay (but not actually reading what this meant), she decided to hit the airport shops and buy herself a whole new supply of makeup to “replace” what was in her checked-in bags. She sent in receipts for high-end, complete collections — several hundred pounds sterling worth of cosmetics — somehow believing that the insurance company would agree that her not having any lip gloss for twelve hours was an emergency and would cover this expenditure.

If she’d read her policy she’d have known she was covered for something like £10 an hour after the first six hours, so about £60 or around a fifth of what she had spent in her opportunistic shopping spree!

Related:
Talking Down Before Falling Down

My girlfriend is excited about a job interview she has at our favourite sub shop. I decide to go with her on the promise that if she takes me, I’ll buy her a sub. 

She gets in and we go separate ways. She’s in business attire, and I am in casual — not a good look, so I sit on the other side of the store.

Interviewer: “I’m glad you applied; you really look like a great fit for the store! Now, we offer eighteen-hour shifts seven days a week, and we can provide an area in the staff room to sleep in if you want to do overtime and don’t have long until your next shift.”

Cue me waving my arms around and shaking my head.

Girlfriend: “That… that doesn’t sound legal?”

Interviewer: “Oh, it isn’t! Aren’t you willing to break the law? Even to work for us? We’re the best!”

Girlfriend: “No, I don’t think I’d be willing to break the law for a job.”

Interviewer: “Then this interview is over and we have no further business to discuss.” 

We left.

My coworker is trying to find the correct mailbox for another (new) coworker.

Coworker: “Why is Vah-ry’s name spelt with an M?”

Me: “Mhairi. It’s Gaelic, like in Niamh.”

Coworker: *Laughs* “I have a cousin Niamh. I should have thought of that.”

Sometime later…

Me: “How many cousins do you have, anyway?”

[Coworker] thinks for a moment.

Coworker: “Twenty-two. Oh, wait. I missed one side of the family. Twenty-eight.”

Me: “…”

The UK has a law about charging for plastic bags which any retailer over a certain size has to follow. This has been the case for years, and yet, some people are still surprised.

This customer has only bought a couple of small things, so I don’t think to ask if she needs a bag before she pays.

Customer: *Rudely* “What, no bag?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, we have to charge for bags. It’s 10p.”

Customer: “You’re seriously going to force me to pay 10p on my card?” *Stares*

Me: “It’s the law; we have to charge.”

Customer: “Well, I won’t do it!”

She fishes in her purse and pulls out a £20 note.

Customer: “Guess you’ll have to make change!”

I just start grabbing her change, as it’s really not that big a deal. The customer’s adult daughter, who has already bought her own things and paid, speaks up.

Customer’s Daughter: “For God’s sake, Mum, it’s been the law for years that you have to pay for bags.”

Customer: “Well, she didn’t ask if I wanted one!”

Customer’s Daughter: “And you didn’t ask for one, either. At my shop, we don’t ever ask, because we can only order in so many bags at a time and we want people to use less plastic. You have to ask if you want one.”

Customer: “It’s not my fault I forgot!”

Customer’s Daughter: “It’s not her fault, either. I don’t know why you’re getting so mad.”

By this point, I’ve gotten the change and the bag and packed the customer’s items away. I hand the customer her change and look at her daughter.

Me: “Thank you very much, ma’am. You have a nice day.”

Our customer toilets are out of order. We are waiting for a plumber to show up, and until then, there are big yellow barriers in front of the doors and signs everywhere (including all entrances and the bottom of all stairs leading up to the toilet floor).

Despite this, people still go there, find they are closed, and then complain to the nearest staff member they can find, which is usually someone from Menswear, given the location of the toilets.

I am chatting with a colleague from Menswear whilst on my break and she tells me about some of the customers she’s had to deal with. She caught [Customer #1] trying to break down the barrier in front of the toilet doors.

Colleague: “Madam, those toilets are out of order! You can’t go in there!”

Customer #1: “Oh, I didn’t realise.”

Later:

Customer #2: “How dare you close your toilets?!”

Colleague: “I’m sorry, madam, they are broken, but we—”

Customer #2: “It’s illegal for your toilets to be broken!”

And yet later still:

Customer #3: “We’ve come all the way upstairs to use the toilet and it is closed? Why didn’t anyone warn us?”

Colleague: “We do have signs at each entrance and at the stairs.”

Customer #3: “No one reads signs! You should have someone telling everyone who comes in!”

After my break, I head back downstairs. The way to the shop floor involves going past the customer toilets. As I walk past, [Customer #4] almost grabs me, pointing at the “Do Not Enter” barrier.

Customer #4: “WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

We are counting down the seconds until the plumber arrives.