(The store is full and the line long. Whilst I’m waiting for my drinks to be made, I overhear this:)

Cashier: “Do you have a points card?”

Old Man: “No, I don’t.”

Cashier: “Would you like one? You get points for every hot drink you buy and earn points for free drinks.”

Old Man: “No, don’t bother. I had one, but no one else took it.”

(I turn around, guessing at what he is implying, and try to tell if he is joking. His stern look tells me otherwise.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir. No one else took it? You mean other [Store] locations?”

Old Man: “No! Other coffee shops. I tried it in the one down the road. They told me that they wouldn’t take it. It’s a scam.”

Cashier: “Sorry, sir, do you mean [completely different Coffee Shop]?”

Old Man: “Yes, I went in there, and I spoke to the manager.”

Cashier: “Sir, our ‘loyalty’ card is for customers shopping at our store. That store has nothing to do with us.”

Old Man: “Well, that is just stupid.”

(I could see the cashier’s face as they struggled and gave up trying to explain the concept of a loyalty card that doesn’t reward you for being loyal!)

(I’m at rehearsals for an upcoming play with my local players’ society. I’ve gone into the kitchen in the village hall where a group of teens, who are also part of the play, are talking.)

Teen #1: Hey, [My Name], what team do you support?”

Me: “The Poole Pirates.”

Teen #1: “Who?!”

Me: “The Poole Pirates! Best speedway team ever.”

Teen #2: “We were on about football.”

Me: “Well, you should have said.”

Teen #1: “Why do you even support them? You’re not even from Dorset!”

Me: “What football team do you support?”

Teen #1: “Chelsea.”

Me: “You’re not from the Chelsea area, so why do you support them?”

Teen #1: “Whatever.”

(They all went back to talking about football and just ignored me.)

(A new trainee is on her first shift, under the supervision of the shift supervisor. The supervisor is called away. As I am also a supervisor, albeit not on this particular shift, she asks me to keep an eye on the trainee until she comes back. As I finish my current call, I notice the trainee getting flustered. She is trying to transfer the caller to the correct section, but, based on what I can hear from her side of the conversation, the caller is giving her a hard time about this, and is not letting her do so. I go over to see if I can help, and hear the trainee reply to the caller:)

Trainee: “Sir, do you know that all calls are recorded? If you wish to make a complaint about me, I’ll gladly pass you over to my supervisor, who will then listen to the playback of this call and will hear that I’ve been trying to help you for the last several minutes. Or, I could save us all the hassle and just transfer you through to the correct section to deal with your inquiry.” *pause* “Of course I’ll transfer you through, sir. Have a nice day.”

(This call centre didn’t actually record all its calls, as there was too high a volume of calls to make it practical. But, oh, yeah, this trainee was going to do just fine!)

(Our store primarily serves tradesmen building or renovating homes, but we’re open to the public doing DIY, too. I’ve been tasked with helping customers find the products they want. These customers are a couple.)

Me: “Hey there. Are you guys doing okay?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, we’re looking to mount a TV on the wall. It’s a bit old, though.”

Customer #2: “It’s not that old; it’s about eight years old.”

(My own TV is about the same age, so I have a guess as to what its shape is like.)

Me: “Do you know how much it weighs?”

Customer #1: “I know the mounting points are 20 centimeters apart.”

Me: “But not how much it weighs? I’d strongly suggest putting it on your bathroom scale before mounting it, in all honesty.”

Customer #1: “I think this one will be enough.”

Me: “With all due respect, sir, I’m going to tell you what I think as a person: when it comes to your home, do not settle with, ‘I think.’ Go with, ‘I know.'”

Customer #2: “You’re a really smart girl, you know that? What is it with men and just going with what they think?”

Me: “My boyfriend doesn’t do it, especially something that can cause a lot of damage if it’s done wrong.”

Customer #2: “That is why you two are in a relationship!”

(I wound up telling not only my assistant manager, who laughed, but my boyfriend, who took it as a compliment.)

CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I’ve suffered from cold sores for about six years, and normally I only get two or three a year. Over the last six months, I have had them repeatedly, one after the other, so I decide to go to my doctor. I make an appointment, but I have to wait three weeks for it — this is a pretty normal wait time for an appointment in my area.)

Me: “I read on the NHS website that if cold sores get this bad and persistent, there’s a medication that can help to treat it.”

Doctor #1: “Why do you think you need a prescription medicine? That’s pretty drastic.”

Me: “I’ve had non-stop cold sores for six months, and that isn’t normal. The creams from the pharmacy aren’t working.”

Doctor #1: “Yes, but lots of things cause cold sores. Sunlight, poor diet, being on your period.”

Me: “Well, I haven’t been on my period for six straight months! My diet hasn’t changed, and it’s winter, so I haven’t been in the sun.”

Doctor #1: “It could be a response to an infection. I’ll send you for a blood test, but I don’t want to give you tablets for something so minor.”

(It takes a week to get the paperwork for the blood test — it has to be done at the hospital — a week for me to be able to get my blood tested, and another week before the results come back. I then have to wait another two weeks to see my doctor to discuss the results.)

Doctor #1: “Your tests showed elevated white blood cells, which is a sign of infection. But I think it’s a false positive, so I’ll send you for another blood test.”

Me: “What makes you think it’s false? You said it could be an infection.”

Doctor #1: “Well, I think you did have an infection, but it’s gone now. I’ll send you for another one and compare the results.”

(Cue ANOTHER TWO weeks of waiting for the blood test and test results.)

Receptionist: “The doctor says your blood test came back normal and he doesn’t need to see you. He says there’s nothing he can do.”

Me: “What?! That’s not right! He hasn’t done anything!”

Receptionist: *quietly speaking to me* “I recommend you see another doctor. They can look at your results and you can get a second opinion.”

(I have to wait ANOTHER THREE weeks to see a second doctor, so by this time it’s been more than eight months of cold sores.)

Doctor #2: “”You’ve had cold sores for EIGHT MONTHS?!”

Me: “It’s been Hell; I’ve had either a sore, a scab, or a scar on my face this whole time. The creams aren’t working, I’ve tried every home remedy on Google, and I don’t know what else to do.”

Doctor #2: “It could be a sign of something serious, but it could be nothing. Let’s have a look at your test results… Are you taking iron?”

Me: “No, why?”

Doctor #2: “Didn’t the other doctor say anything about your iron levels?!”

Me: “He said my blood was normal.”

Doctor #2: “It’s most certainly not normal! You have extremely low iron levels, in both sets of results. There’s a proven link between low iron and mouth sores. You just need to take an iron supplement. And I’ll give you a prescription for the cold sores, so they’ll clear up in a week or less. Your white blood cell count is still up, so I think you may need antibiotics, too.”

(Since I’ve been taking iron, I hardly have cold sores at all. And my infection cleared up, but the doctor said if it hadn’t, it could have developed into sepsis, which can be fatal. Now, whenever I make a doctor’s appointment I specifically say, “Any doctor other than [Doctor #1],” and from what the receptionist has since told me, lots of patients do the same.)