(I work for a company that does tech repairs. One day we get a customer asking if we do phone repairs.)
Customer: “Hi, do you do phone repairs?”
Me: “Yes, we do. What is it?”
Customer: “Oh, it’s a six.”
Me: “Which phone?”
Customer: “Just a normal six.”
(Eventually she clicked and told me it was an iPhone 6.)
(I work in IT. I am on a call with an intern who needs a laptop sent down to her. She is giving me the address of her office, as it is not classed as a head office, and therefore is not on our directory.)
Intern: *giving address* “It’s [Number], [Street], the town of Reading.”
(She pronounces it as though you were “reading” a book. I repeat the address back, saying Reading as you are meant to say it, with the “read” being pronounced like “red.”)
Intern: “Uh, no, it’s ‘reading.’ Get it right or it won’t get here.”
Me: “I know it’s spelt, ‘reading,’ but it is pronounced with a ‘red’ instead of ‘read.’ It won’t really matter, as the postcode should tell the courier where it needs to go.”
Intern: “JUST GET IT RIGHT. I’M NOT BEING PUNISHED FOR YOUR STUPIDITY!” *slams the phone down*
(Ignoring the outburst, I send the laptop down. I included Reading in the address, and I received confirmation that it was received and signed for. The intern left six months later and the laptop was returned. When I opened the laptop, I found an entire Wikipedia article printed out and squished between the monitor and keyboard. The article was for a city in California called Redding, with a sticky note telling me to “learn my geography.” I had a good laugh over it with the rest of the department.)
(I am working the hot meat counter at a supermarket. When it comes near to closing time, we reduce the hot meat down if we have a lot of it left to get rid of. A woman walks up to me about half an hour from closing time. There are three whole hot chickens left.)
Customer: “Why aren’t these chickens reduced?”
Me: “We only reduce them down if we have a lot left, or if it’s bang on closing time. We only have three left, so these may still go as there is still half an hour of trading time left.”
Customer: “But you always reduce them down; I want these chickens reduced!”
Me: “Well, today we do not have enough left to warrant a reduction.”
Customer: “But you are obliged to reduce them down. You reduce them down now so I can take one. Everywhere else does it; you’re out of order.”
Me: “I am not obliged to reduce them down. Obviously, ideally we want to sell them at full price.”
(The woman continues to rant, getting progressively ruder, about how out of order it is to sell these chickens at full price at this time of day. While she is doing this, a girl doing her shopping overhears and looks a bit annoyed at this woman, but then walks off.)
Me: *sigh* “If there are any left bang on closing time, I will then reduce them.”
Customer: “Fine, I will wait.”
(The woman proceeds to wait there for half an hour, giving me nasty looks as I clean the department. At closing time, the chickens are still there, so I make up the reduction stickers, bag up the chickens, and put them on top of the counter. The girl from earlier has reappeared.)
Girl: *to the woman* “You know, you really shouldn’t be so rude to people.”
(The girl proceeds to grab all three reduced chickens, and then runs off with her trolley to the checkout. The woman stares after her in shock.)
Me: *calling after girl* “Thank you for shopping at [Supermarket]!”
Me: “Good afternoon. You’re through to [Company]. How can I help?”
Caller: “How come Batman can’t fly?”
Me: “Batman cannot fly because he does not have any super powers.”
Caller: “Oh. I feel sorry for him.” *click*
Me: “What?”
(Our shop is a small, family-run business that I’ve had the joy of working at for four years. So far it’s been a great day, with a few of my weekly regulars bringing in coffees for a chat and one bringing in their new pup for me to meet. I’m used to being friendly with the customers, and many of them have expressed how they love being called “Sweetheart” or “Love” as I do. A new customer, around sixty, walks into shop surrounded by four children. She proceeds to grab a bag of bird seed and sunflower hearts. I smile and till them up; the total shows up on the customer screen, as well.)
Me: “That’ll be £2.40, please. Would you like a bag?”
(The customer simply nods with a grunt, refusing to look at me as her children pick up and misplace everything not attached to a wall. She places £2.14 on the counter in change and tells me to “put the change in the box,” meaning one of our donation boxes. As it has been a good day so far, I decide not to ask the 5p for a carrier bag or the remaining change. I sort the change and close the till when she finally looks at me.)
Customer: “Are you pocketing the change?!”
(I falter and blush.)
Me: “I’m really sorry, sweetheart, but the total was actually £2.40; you gave me £2.14 so there was no change.”
(She turned red in the face and grabbed in her bag. She took out a handful of 2p coins and threw them at me, shouting, “DON’T CALL ME ‘SWEETHEART’!” before storming out, children in tow. Lesson learned: no good deed goes unpunished.)
