(My workplace is accessed by a short and very steep drive. I see a man in a manual wheelchair rolling down our driveway very fast. My coworker and I manage to grab and stop his chair just short of a brick wall.)

Customer #1: “Bloody h***! Thanks, guys. I thought I was going to smash into the wall there!”

Coworker: “What happened?”

Customer #1: “Ah, someone pushed past me too hard, and it set me to rolling down here.”

Me: “Well, I’m just glad that you’re all right.”

Customer #1: “Yeah, thanks to you two!”

(We’re about to ask if he wants us to help him back up the hill, or if he wants to wait here for someone to pick him up or something, when a second man comes over.)

Customer #2: “How dare you?!”

All Three Of Us: “Erm, what?”

Customer #2: “You should be ashamed of yourselves! You can’t manhandle people just because they’re in wheelchairs! My wife is in a wheelchair; would you just grab at her if you saw her? It’s disgusting!” *then, to the first customer* “I saw the whole thing, and will be a witness for you. You should prosecute them for assault!”

Customer #1: “I needed help, man. I would have crashed into the wall. I think I should be thanking them more, not trying to get them in trouble.”

Customer #2: “No! You shouldn’t thank them! These people need to understand that being in a wheelchair doesn’t make you incapable of looking after yourself; they shouldn’t have interfered unless you specifically asked for help.”

Customer #1: *long pause* “Okay. So, anyway…” *turns to us* “Thanks very much, lads. If you could give me a push back up to the road, that would be great.”

Me: “Yes, of course. we’re happy to help.”

Customer #2: “Well, if you won’t do anything, I will. I’m going to speak to the manager and get these people fired. They need to learn they can’t go around grabbing people in wheelchairs.” *walks back into the store*

Customer #1: *to us* “Do you think he’s really going to complain?”

Coworker: “It’s possible. People complain about some really weird things.”

Me: “Oh, well. Our boss is a decent woman; I doubt we’ll have any problems.”

Customer #1: “Well, I’d better go see your boss, too, just in case. I don’t want you getting in trouble.”

(When we got in the store, [Customer #2] was standing in the middle of the cashier area, yelling about how he didn’t want the stores employees grabbing his wife. Of course, we didn’t get in trouble, but [Customer #2] returned his purchases and said he’d never shop with us again.)

(I start at a new company and instantly find an issue with one of women that works there. She is difficult and aggressive to everyone; she tries to run my team and makes ridiculous expectations. After working there a while, I am told that she wants my job, but was given another one when it was made clear that she wasn’t capable. Her demands of my team and me get more and more ridiculous, until one day:)

Worker: “Have you done that report?”

Me: “Me? No, have you seen how hectic it has been?!”

Worker: “Well, I need it!”

Me: “Sorry, I’m already late leaving. I can help you out first thing Monday.”

(I start to pack my things away.)

Worker: “Take your laptop home.”

Me: “What?”

Worker: “Take your laptop home; you can do it this weekend.”

(I stare at her for a moment; she is nether my boss nor my superior.)

Me: “No.”

Worker: “What?”

Me: “I said no, I’m not doing it.”

Worker: “I need it.” *pause* “I will have to speak to [My Boss].”

Me: “Fine, please do. I won’t be here when you get back.”

(I have a terrible weekend, fearful of what my boss will say. I keep an eye on my phone expecting the worst. I come back to work on Monday.)

Me: “Hey, [Boss], anything for me?”

Boss: “Oh, hey, [My Name]! Oh, you won’t believe it; [Worker] wanted me to force you to work this weekend!”

Me: “I know… So, what do you think?”

Boss: “I told her to f*** off!”

(It was the first and last time I heard him swear, but after that she never bothered me again!)

(I am with my wife, who is disabled and uses a mobility scooter, doing our weekly shopping. A rather well-to-do middle aged woman is blocking the aisle, and talking on her phone.)

Wife: “Excuse me?” *a little louder* “Excuse me?”

(Still, she just stands there.)

Me: *quite loud, but not shouting* “Hey, can we just get passed please?”

(Still, she just stands there on her phone, oblivious to us. All of a sudden, an older gentleman in an army uniform appears behind us.)

Army Man: “May I?”

(We nod and let him past.)

Army Man: *loud enough to wake the dead* “GET OUT THE BLOODY WAY!”

Woman: *startled and nearly drops her phone* “Well, I never! No need to shout!”

Army Man: *no drop in volume* “THIS COUPLE ASKED YOU THREE TIMES TO MOVE, AND YOU WERE MORE CONCERNED WITH YOUR CALL. I DIDN’T SPEND FIFTY YEARS IN THE ARMY DEFENDING THIS COUNTRY FOR YOU TO ACT LIKE A JACKA**! SO, NEXT TIME, SHOW SOME RESPECT!”

Woman: “Rude!” *walks away*

Army Man: *normally, to us* “There we go, guys!”

(We’re in a class at university which is one of my favourites. We are learning about the history of animal welfare and historical arguments over sentience, such as if animals can really feel pain. It’s fascinating. Not long into the lecture, the door opens and a girl comes in whom I don’t recognise. She sits down and stays in the class for at least half an hour, until the lecturer asks her a question.)

Girl: “Sorry, I honestly don’t know. I’m in the wrong room, but it looked interesting, so I decided to stay. I need to go find my actual class.”

(I play Dungeons and Dragons in a bar with some friends once a week. This particular session we are trying to figure out if there is still some damaging magic left in a room. We’ve just teamed up temporarily with some “bad guys,” one of whom is a goblin. My character is a dwarf. While the other players are discussing how to test the room…)

Me: “I pick up a goblin and throw him into the room.”

(Yes, I tossed a goblin. Because I am a dwarf, and nobody tosses a dwarf.)