Digical Is Made Up Of Ones And D’ohs

, , , , | Right | August 4, 2010

Customer: “Hello, could you help me find a TV I was looking at yesterday?”

Me: “Yes, of course.”

(I show them the wall with TVs mounted on. There are around forty different models.)

Me: “Which TV were you looking at?”

Customer: “I’m not sure. It’s digical.”

Me: “These are all digital TVs. Can you remember the brand?”

Customer: “No. It’s one of the digical ones.”

Me: “Okay. Do you know what size or color it was?”

Customer: *pauses* “It’s digical.”

Me: “Okay, I’m not sure what you mean. I’ll go find one of the sales staff and see if they can help you.”

Customer: *as I leave* “Tell them it’s digical!”


This story is part of our Tongue-Tied-Customers roundup!

Read the next Tongue-Tied-Customers roundup story!

Read the Tongue-Tied-Customers roundup!

1 Thumbs
1,868

Try Not To Read Too Much Into It

, , , , , | Right | August 3, 2010

(A six-or-seven-year-old boy comes into the children’s bookstore, his mother trailing behind him.)

Mother: “Go on, then! Ask! She won’t know what you’re talking about and then you can stop wasting my time!”

Boy: “Hello!”

Me: “Hello.”

Boy: “I want a book.”

Me: “Well, you’re in the right place.”

Boy: “It’s about a boy. Who lives with a caveman. He’s got a funny name beginning with ‘S’.”

Mother: “There. Now you know there’s no such book.”

Me: “That wouldn’t be ‘Stig of the Dump,’ would it?”

Boy: *jumping up and down* “Yes, yes, yes! I told you, Mummy!”

Mother: “Don’t contradict me in front of my son!” *starts walking her son out of the shop and still talking to me* “You read too many books!”


This story is part of our Children Reading roundup!

Read the next Children Reading roundup story!

Read the Children Reading roundup!


This story is part of our Terrible Parents roundup!

Read the next Terrible Parents story!

Read the Terrible Parents roundup!

1 Thumbs
6,939

Don’t Bet On This One

, , , | Right | July 30, 2010

Customer: “Wow, this wheel spins around and I think you put a ball in it.”

Me: “Yes, madam, it’s a roulette wheel.”

Customer: “And what’s the point? Do you have to guess the numbers?”

Me: “Some people actually bet on the outcome as well.”

Customer: “That’s an awesome idea. They should have those in casinos!”

1 Thumbs
2,268

One Brain For The IQ Of None

, , , , | Right | July 28, 2010

Customer: “This sticker says three-for-two. What does that mean?”

Me: “It means that if you choose three books with that sticker on, the cheapest will be free. You get three books for the price of two.”

Customer: “But what if I only want two books?”

Me: “You don’t have to have to take a third book. You can just buy those two on their own. But you could get a free book to go with them; any book in the shop with that sticker on.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous, I don’t want 3 for 2. Why are you trying to make people read books they don’t want?”

Me: “I can just sell you those two on their own. You don’t have to make use of the deal.”

Customer: “But it says three-for-two, so I’d be missing out on a book.”

Me: “Well, you can choose a third book in the deal. Then you’ll get one for free.”

Customer: “But I only want these two!”

Me: “Okay. Shall I put those two through the till for you?”

Customer: “Are you trying to rip me off? I want my free book.”

Me: *pause* “Would it help if I took the stickers off the covers? Then they would just look like normal books.”

Customer: “Right! Yes! They shouldn’t be three-for-two, anyway! They’re really good!”

1 Thumbs
4,198

Hiss-terical Contest

, , , , , | Right | July 16, 2010

(It is closing time. I come across a man in the reptile section staring intently at one of our pythons.)

Me: “Sir, just to let you know, the store will be closing in about–”

(The customer silences me and continues to watch the snake.)

Me: “Sir, did you–”

Customer: “I heard you. I’ll be out in a minute. This brat can’t last much longer.”

(The snake moves to the side, and so does the customer. It slithers back to its original position and he follows suit. I notice his eyes are quivering all this time and he hasn’t blinked once.)

Me: “Sir, forgive my asking, but are you trying to have a staring contest with Archie there?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “You do know snakes can’t blink, right?”

Customer: “Oh, now you tell me? I’ve been challenging this brat for the last ten minutes!”


This story is part of our Snakes roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

1 Thumbs
5,268