Committing Career Suicide

, , , | Working | December 11, 2017

(I used to volunteer with a suicide prevention charity while at university. I put it on hold while I moved around the country looking for a job. Once settled down, I start up again working on Saturday evenings. A month later, my employer has fired a manager to cut back on costs, and for us agreeing to jointly fulfill the role, we have each gotten a small increase in wages. Said manager was also involved in the night shifts, which we now have to fulfil.)

Manager: “All right, so it’s [My Name] and [Coworker] on Saturday and Sunday… [My Name] Saturday and [Coworker] Sunday.”

Me: “I’d rather we switched. I’m busy Saturday evenings.”

Coworker: “I don’t mind switching.”

Manager: “No, you have that report due in on Mondays, and you can’t do it if you have worked the Sunday shift.”

Me: “I can do the report on Sunday. It doesn’t take long.”

Manager: “No, that won’t work.”

Coworker: “[Manager], it’s fine. I’ll do the Saturday.”

Manager: “No, [My Name] is new, and he has to learn proper respect and authority. He will work Saturday.”

Coworker: “Mate, he volunteers with [Charity] on Saturdays. Also I have been here long enough to learn ‘respect and authority’ and I say I’m working the Saturday!”

(Our manager scoffs at us but eventually lets us switch. I arrive at my next shift with Charity, and am told someone has been ringing in every few minutes. We suspect it might be a prank caller, or someone who is in distress and is unable to maintain the call. We’re on alert, though, in case they phone back. I end up being the next person to take the call.)

Me: “[Charity]. This is [Alias]—”

Manager: *recognising my voice* “No, you’re [My Name]. It’s [Manager]. I’ve been calling all night to see if you actually do work there and not just being lazy… See you on Monday!” *hangs up*

(The others at Charity weren’t happy with me, and I had a few choice words for Manager when I got in. He didn’t understand how inappropriate it was to flood a suicide prevention service to prove someone volunteered there.)

Hair Comes Trouble

, , , | Friendly | December 8, 2017

(My friends and I are going on holiday together. For one of them, this is his first ever flight, and his first time even at an airport. He’s a large bearded man, but a total kid. Understandably, he’s incredibly excited. He’s also not great with common sense.)

Friend: “Come on guys! Let’s go! Let’s go!”

(At this point, he’s literally bouncing up and down with his gigantic backpack on.)

Me: “Slow down, [Friend]; we need to clear our bags with security first.”

Friend: “Sweet! Race you there!”

Me: “[Friend], NO!”

(Cue a large, bearded man sprinting headlong towards security with a gigantic backpack. We practically had to tackle him. He honestly didn’t understand what he’d done wrong.)

Politely Depressing

, , , , , | Related | December 8, 2017

(Our parents are out at the theatre, so my brothers and I are left at home. Some time after they leave, my younger brother asks to speak to me upstairs in our room, looking sad. I go up and he starts crying, stressed and sad because of a combination of puberty hormones and tonsillitis. His nose starts bleeding, which is common for him, and I usher him into the bathroom, trying to calm him down. Our older brother storms up the stairs. It should be noted that he has a habit of not noticing his tone, so we often have to ask him to be more polite.)

Older Brother: *angrily* “Can you please stop crying? It’s really depressing!”


(My brother makes an indignant face and storms off downstairs. He turns back to fling this at me.)

Brother: “I asked POLITELY!”

They’ll Get It In A Minute

, , , , | Right | December 6, 2017

(I work at an amusement park. I’m just heading on my break when a guest approaches me.)

Guest: “Excuse me, what time does [ride] open?”

Me: “Eleven o’clock.”

Guest: “And what time is it now?”

Me: “Twenty-five minutes to eleven.”

Guest: “So, how long do I have to wait?”

Unfiltered Story #101121

, , , | Unfiltered | December 5, 2017

(I am 13 and in a car accident with my grandmother and sister. I get horrendous back pain and whip lash after a man decides it is a great idea to open his car door onto the road. I can’t bend down, and eventually my mum takes me to the local walk-in health centre. We wait for over an hour to see someone and eventually we are taken through to see the nurse. She is a young girl but seems to know what she is doing so when she asks me to take an unwind test, I don’t know any better and provide one for her. A few minutes later she comes back into the room and speaks to my mum.)

Nurse: “Well she isn’t pregnant.”

(I just stare at her for a moment, trying to understand what she is saying. I am a 13-year-old girl and don’t honestly know much about sex, never mind being pregnant. My mum’s mouth gapes open for a few seconds flapping like a fish.)

Mum: “What! I know she’s not pregnant. She was in a car crash and is suffering from pain in her back.”

(The nurse suddenly comes over in realisation of what she has said.)

Nurse: “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise how old she was”

Mum: “What do you mean you didn’t realise? She’s 13 years old; she’s not a f****** tramp. Oh my god, I can’t believe you just came to that conclusion with her back pain; I even explained to you what the problem was and you still assumed a young smart girl like her would be so f****** stupid?!”

(I shrank away as my mums voice rose over the sound of the curtains, the nurse practically cowaring in the corner and before long my mum was demanding to see another nurse. I will never forget the look of horror on that woman’s face, i’m 25 now and pretty sure i’m still not pregnant. Back pain is gone though.)

Page 24/60First...2223242526...Last
« Previous
Next »