I Am 17, Going On 15…

, , , | Right | August 28, 2017

(I am a bus driver.)

Customer: “One child’s ticket to [location].”

Me: “How old are you?”

Customer: “Fifteen.”

Me: “Full fare, please.”

Customer: “I’M 15 YOU F****** B****** S*** HEAD! HOW DARE YOU SAY I’M OLDER THAN I AM?! I SHOULD HAVE YOU DONE FOR DISCRIMINATION! I WANT FREE TRAVEL NOW!”

Me: *calmly points to the “Happy 17th Birthday” badge on her top*

Customer: *blushes*

Me: “So, full fare?”

Customer: “Yeah…”

Couldn’t Handle The Reality Of Reality

, , , | Working | August 28, 2017

(I’ve interviewed a series of candidates for a position. One young guy comes in with no real experience, but he is really keen, and he mentions that he is just looking for a chance to prove himself and that he is really excited to have a “real” job apart from part time. He interviews well and we agree to give him a chance on a junior role. He gets his offer letter and we wait to hear from him about confirming his start date. He doesn’t respond after a day or two so I give him a call.)

Me: “This is [My Name]. We were hoping you would be able to confirm your start date. Did you get the letter?”

Candidate: “Sorry, I did, but my boss wasn’t in today, so I couldn’t sort it out.”

Me: “Okay, well, please let me know tomorrow where we stand.”

Candidate: “I will, thank you.”

(The next day comes and goes, and I have to ring him again.)

Me: “This is [My Name]. We haven’t heard from you today. We need to set up your computer and induction. What is happening?”

Candidate: “I’m sorry. I wanted to leave on [date we asked him to], but I didn’t put my notice in writing. I’m speaking to my boss tomorrow to sort it all out.”

Me: “Okay, we need to make a move here. We have plans in place and are keen to get you started. You were originally supposed to start [next week]. We need to know where we stand as this is urgent for us.”

Candidate: “Okay. I promise I will ring you tomorrow.”

(When he doesn’t ring the next day, I’m too busy in a meeting to get back to him. Instead, the day after, I call and get no response. I call the agency who sent his CV in and they can’t get hold of him. After a week of nothing [and a need to get someone employed urgently], we withdraw our offer in writing. A full week passes before he calls and gets my voicemail.)

Candidate: “What’s going on? I just got this letter. I told you I was sorting it out. It was only going to be a few more weeks. You’re just like [Other Company]. You suck.”

(Something told me he wasn’t ready for a “real job” yet.)

Unfiltered Story #91968

, , | Unfiltered | August 28, 2017

(I work in a warehouse based company that has customers pick items from a catalogue, most of our customers are tradesmen so they don’t mind some sarcasm)
Colleague: Hey [my name]!
(I look over)
Customer: This customer wants to know how long our screws are!
Me: Sir, how long is a piece of string?
Customer:… Yeah that was a pretty dumb question wasn’t it?

Exactly Where Did She Grow Up

, , , , | Friendly | August 25, 2017

Woman #1: *American accent* “Hey! May I just ask you what you are doing?”

Me: “Waiting for a bus.”

Woman #1: “Really?! And what do you do?”

Me: “To wait for a bus?”

(She nods.)

Me: “You… just stand around, waiting.”

(She looks at me really enthusiastically, and then moves on to questions like, is it a hobby, how long do people wait, and if “bus” [with actual air quotes] is some sort of animal native to the UK. After a few minutes another woman appears and tells her they’re leaving. The first woman shakes my hand and she joins her group. The other woman stays behind to talk to me.)

Woman #2: “Sorry about that, she’s had quite a… closed childhood, and not everything is quite there. She seems to think even the most mundane thing over here is strange and exotic. Thank you, though, for entertaining her. Most people have just walked away, acting really offended.”

Little Girl, Interrupted

, , , , | Related | August 25, 2017

(I’m walking down the road when I overhear this gem:)

Eight-Year-Old Girl: *to her younger brother* “I don’t know what the point of you being born was. All you do is interrupt me!”

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