Advocating Alcoholic Desserts

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2017

(I am buying drinks for Christmas with a friend. I pick up a bottle of Advocaat.)

Friend: “I’ve never had that. What’s it like?”

Me: “Pretty much just tastes like alcoholic custard.”

Customer: *laughing* “That’s brilliant! Does that mean I can put it on my dessert?”

Unfiltered Story #87833

, , | Unfiltered | May 31, 2017

 

We ran a free tea day last week ( we were basically sent 100 of these tea bags to give away ups of tea free and basically promote the brand) We also have a loyalty card where you get a stamp per drink you buy and when you get 9 stamps you get a free drink. So on this free tea day we had one of our regulars in ordering 2 teas. Told her they were free today etc. then after she came up to claim her stamps. Politely told her we weren’t giving stamps as the drinks were free. She was very putout; “oh well next time i’d rather pay for my drinks so I get my stamps.” You do the math.

Deathly Silent

, , , | Learning | May 30, 2017

(As I live about an hour and a half away from my school, I travel there and back by the school’s bus service. Travelling with me are three girls below my year and five girls in my year. Since we spend so much time together on the bus and our school bans us from using or bringing smartphones, we all talk to each other. Today, I’m not really feeling like talking so I just read a book while my friend talks to me whilst drinking water. Suddenly, she starts choking.)

Friend: *dramatically, in the middle of her coughs* “I’m dying.”

Me: *without looking up from my book* “Can you die a little quieter, please? I’m trying to read.”

(My friend suddenly stops coughing.)

Friend: *indignantly* “Excuse me, [My Name], I can die as loudly as I want!”

Pure Headache

, , , , | Learning | May 30, 2017

(I’m in A-level chemistry, and we’re making paracetamol (Tylenol) in our lab. My lab partner and I have completed all the steps and now have a small pile of white powder on a watch glass. Our teacher notices and comes over to talk to us about the write up.)

Teacher: “So you need to make sure you’ve written down all your values as accurately as possible, to work out how much you should have made, so you can compare it to how much you actually made.”

Partner: “How do we know how much we’ve actually made?”

Teacher: “Well, you just weigh it.”

Partner: “No, but how do we know it’s pure? It could just be chalk for all we know.”

Me: “I have a headache; I could eat some and see if it goes away?”

(I didn’t, nor did I plan to, eat any of it, but as my teacher pointed out, my answer technically wasn’t wrong, just ill-advised. Our next lesson was about calculating purity from melting points.)

You Know How To Push My Chocolate Buttons

, , , | Romantic | May 26, 2017

(My fiancé and I go to a well-known coffee chain before church, and we’re waiting in line. Somehow the discussion turns to chocolate.)

Fiancé: “So, my mum got us some chocolate for later on today. It has little rainbow bits in and I think it will be nice for us to have!”

Me: “Oh! Okay. I was gonna finish my chocolate buttons from last week.”

Fiancé: “Oh, right… I ate those.”

Me: “…you ate my chocolate buttons?”

Fiancé: “But we still have the rainbow choc—”

Me: “But you ate my chocolate buttons. I was looking forward to finishing them.”

Fiancé: “But we have this chocolate this afternoon so it’ll be fine.”

Me: *pouts* “You ate my chocolate buttons.”

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