Unfiltered Story #91968

, , | Unfiltered | August 28, 2017

(I work in a warehouse based company that has customers pick items from a catalogue, most of our customers are tradesmen so they don’t mind some sarcasm)
Colleague: Hey [my name]!
(I look over)
Customer: This customer wants to know how long our screws are!
Me: Sir, how long is a piece of string?
Customer:… Yeah that was a pretty dumb question wasn’t it?

Exactly Where Did She Grow Up

, , , , | Friendly | August 25, 2017

Woman #1: *American accent* “Hey! May I just ask you what you are doing?”

Me: “Waiting for a bus.”

Woman #1: “Really?! And what do you do?”

Me: “To wait for a bus?”

(She nods.)

Me: “You… just stand around, waiting.”

(She looks at me really enthusiastically, and then moves on to questions like, is it a hobby, how long do people wait, and if “bus” [with actual air quotes] is some sort of animal native to the UK. After a few minutes another woman appears and tells her they’re leaving. The first woman shakes my hand and she joins her group. The other woman stays behind to talk to me.)

Woman #2: “Sorry about that, she’s had quite a… closed childhood, and not everything is quite there. She seems to think even the most mundane thing over here is strange and exotic. Thank you, though, for entertaining her. Most people have just walked away, acting really offended.”

Little Girl, Interrupted

, , , , | Related | August 25, 2017

(I’m walking down the road when I overhear this gem:)

Eight-Year-Old Girl: *to her younger brother* “I don’t know what the point of you being born was. All you do is interrupt me!”

Time To Shed Away That Staff Room

, , , , , | Working | August 25, 2017

(In a small town I live in, I have a shed in my garden, which I use as a sort of studio for drawing and writing. I recently notice food and supplies going missing. I assume it’s just my memory or some pranks by friends, until one day, the door opens while I’m working in there.)

Woman: “You! Who are you? What are you doing in our staff room? Are you new?”

Me: “Uh…”

Woman: “Out! Out! It’s not a break time yet! I have a phone call to make and I need my coffee. I can’t concentrate with you in here!”

Me: *losing my temper* “Hey! This is my study! Get out!”

Woman: “This is our staff room! I’m calling the police.”

(It turned out the woman was the manager of a shop that backed onto my garden, and had been using my study as an office and staff room for some time now. The rest of her staff had tried to convince her it wasn’t hers, but she wouldn’t listen. Despite everything, she kept calling the police every time I was in there, and when I fitted a lock, too. Eventually I moved out.)

Trying New Outlets For Troubleshooting

, , , , | Right | August 24, 2017

(One of my favourite phone calls when I worked in IT support, which still makes me smile:)

Customer: “Hello, I would like to report one faulty radio charger, please.”

Me: “Hello! Did you try plugging it to a different power outlet?”

Customer: “That’s a good question! Let me try that.”

(A few seconds of fumbling around.)

Customer: “I would like to report one faulty power outlet, please.”

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