They’ll Get It In A Minute

, , , | Right | December 6, 2017

(I work at an amusement park. I’m just heading on my break when a guest approaches me.)

Guest: “Excuse me, what time does [ride] open?”

Me: “Eleven o’clock.”

Guest: “And what time is it now?”

Me: “Twenty-five minutes to eleven.”

Guest: “So, how long do I have to wait?”

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Unfiltered Story #101121

, , | Unfiltered | December 5, 2017

(I am 13 and in a car accident with my grandmother and sister. I get horrendous back pain and whip lash after a man decides it is a great idea to open his car door onto the road. I can’t bend down, and eventually my mum takes me to the local walk-in health centre. We wait for over an hour to see someone and eventually we are taken through to see the nurse. She is a young girl but seems to know what she is doing so when she asks me to take an unwind test, I don’t know any better and provide one for her. A few minutes later she comes back into the room and speaks to my mum.)

Nurse: “Well she isn’t pregnant.”

(I just stare at her for a moment, trying to understand what she is saying. I am a 13-year-old girl and don’t honestly know much about sex, never mind being pregnant. My mum’s mouth gapes open for a few seconds flapping like a fish.)

Mum: “What! I know she’s not pregnant. She was in a car crash and is suffering from pain in her back.”

(The nurse suddenly comes over in realisation of what she has said.)

Nurse: “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise how old she was”

Mum: “What do you mean you didn’t realise? She’s 13 years old; she’s not a f****** tramp. Oh my god, I can’t believe you just came to that conclusion with her back pain; I even explained to you what the problem was and you still assumed a young smart girl like her would be so f****** stupid?!”

(I shrank away as my mums voice rose over the sound of the curtains, the nurse practically cowaring in the corner and before long my mum was demanding to see another nurse. I will never forget the look of horror on that woman’s face, i’m 25 now and pretty sure i’m still not pregnant. Back pain is gone though.)

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Periodically Stupid

, , , , , | Working | December 3, 2017

(For the past few months, I have been having heavy periods and horrific pain, so bad that I ended up going to A&E twice in one week. Eventually, I get a gynaecology appointment, a month after my emergency trips, though at a hospital I have never been to. However, it is the earliest available date and I need it. After a few questions…)

Doctor: “Do you use birth control?”

Me: “No. I’ve never had sex. It causes me so much pain that I have to stop immediately. I can’t even have physical examinations, because the smallest equipment hurts so much.”

Doctor: “Is there any chance that you are pregnant?”

Me: “…”

(I’m now waiting for another appointment to pop up.)

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Makes You Want To Take Medical Leave

, , , , , | Right | December 1, 2017

(Our manager is taken sick at work and we have to call an ambulance. As a result, we’re closing early. Although we’ve put signs up, no one reads them, so I am standing at the door asking people not to come inside. Our shop is in the same building as a bookshop, which is remaining open.)

Me: “Sorry, guys, we’re closing early today, due to our manager being unwell.”

Customer: “I just want a hot chocolate.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we’re closing, and all the machines are being turned off.”

(As she is launching into a rant, the ambulance pulls up and paramedics go inside.)

Customer: “But I want a hot chocolate! No one else sells this hot chocolate! Can’t you just pour out some you’ve already made?”

Me: “We don’t have any made up right now; everything has been cleared away.”

(She looks at the sign, which says the bookshop is remaining open.)

Customer: “Where is [Bookshop] then?”

Me: “It’s just next door.”

(She peers through the door at the displays.)

Customer: “Oh. I thought you were trying to help me find another cafe. The least you could do is put a sign up.”

(She walked away in a huff, and people kept coming to the door and asking why we were closed, even whilst they could see the paramedics inside!)

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A Relaxed Attitude To Drugs

, , | Healthy | December 1, 2017

(I am a medical student. This is my first ever interaction in a hospital setting. The patient has been admitted for a serious lung issue, and is due to return home. It proceeds well, until it is time to round off the conversation:)

Me: “So, I’ve been told you’re being discharged today; is that correct?”

Patient: “Yes, that’s right. I’m going to go and see my friend when I get out. She’s really stressed.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Do you have anything nice planned?”

Patient: “We’re going to bake some weed brownies. That should help us relax!” *laughs*

Me: “Well, at least you’re not smoking it!” *nervous laughter*

(Interesting start to medicine. I’m glad she took my comment well. I just wasn’t expecting it!)

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