I have avoided going to the doctors for ages, way before the health crisis, but I finally made an appointment for a physical consultation as I have been told I am high-risk. I am not at all worried, but they keep sending me messages!

I am there on time but there are two people in front of me and it takes me ten minutes to speak to a receptionist.

Receptionist: “You’re ten minutes late.”

I am irked by her facial expression and tone, not to mention having to wait because a man talked to another receptionist for at least ten minutes being told repeatedly, “They probably won’t do that for you.”

Me: “Why do you think that is?”

She’s taken aback.

Receptionist: *Mumbles* “I don’t know.”

Me: “I have been standing in the queue having to listen to some bloke wasting everyone’s time.”

She didn’t know how to deal with my lateness on the computer and turned to a colleague. I could hear them say that I would have to wait for the next available time or rebook.

I didn’t want to be there in the first place, so I swanned out, telling them as much.

I am not a patient person and especially not with people who blame the service user. I will delete their texts for a few months and rebook when I feel I have gathered sufficient patience to try again. 

I’m about to pick my kids up from school. As I turn the handle on the door, someone presses the doorbell. I open the door and a guy with a clipboard is stood there.

Me: “Not a good time; I’m leaving the house.”

Guy: “It won’t take a moment.”

Me: “I don’t have a moment. I need to leave, now.”

Guy: “I’m sure you have a moment to hear about the great savings.”

Me: “Look. You move or I go through you.”

He looks me up and down and smirks.

Guy: “I don’t think that is going to happen.”

Me: “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

I go to step around him, but he actually pushes me back. I am not much to look at but I’m deceptively strong and have trained in martial arts for several years, so I at least have a bit of an idea of how to handle myself. I step on his instep, collapsing his knee, and let him fall into the nearby bush.

Me: “Like I said, move or be moved.”

The next day, someone claiming to be the guy’s manager came to my door. But I was able to show him the video of the guy pushing me first. And before I could finish my sentence, the manager apologised and muttered something about, “Not again.”

The company didn’t bother me afterward.

I come back after a week off and notice a new face in the office. Later that day, I happen to be chatting with the department manager and I mention him.

Manager: “Oh, yes, that’s [New Hire]. I meant to ask you something.”

Me: “Okay, what is it?”

Manager: “Could you have a chat with him? He’s close to your age and he might talk to you.”

Me: “Err, sure. What about?”

Manager: “Well, he just cannot get on with anyone. I have had three people try to show him the ropes but he just isn’t responsive.”

Me: “It’s not my place to say, but maybe he isn’t a good fit?”

Manager: “No, of course. Maybe. But looking at his CV, he has worked for some of the top companies in the country and graduated top of his class. Before we… sack him… perhaps it’s worth seeing if there is anything the matter.”

Me: “I can give it a try, I guess.”

Manager: “Thanks, just when you get a chance.”

I get where he is coming from. Not a lot of people in the area have our skillset and experience, and there’s a six-month wait for security clearance. Finding people must be hard.

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name].”

New Hire: “Yeah?”

Me: “I notice you’re new. How are you finding it?”

New Hire: “It’s boring. I don’t know why I left [Major Company].”

Me: “Well, it’s early days. Is there anything I can help with? [Reports] are pretty hard to do the first time.”

New Hire: “Nah, I can’t be bothered.”

Me: “Okay, well…. I doubt they will keep you very long if you refuse to work. Let me know if you want some help.”

New Hire: “Pff, whatever.”

[New Hire] spent two more days doing nothing and then disappeared. It was months before my boss would tell me what happened. [New Hire] had left his last job voluntarily, only because he screwed up so badly he was going to get fired when they found out, which they did. He used his friends at the company to pretend to be his old boss and give him a good reference.

Of course, now that this was out in the open, [New Hire] was sacked and his friends were undoubtedly disciplined or fired, losing him his reference. All he had to do was knuckle down and get to work, but he couldn’t be bothered. Now he will struggle to get back into engineering again.

I work in the clothing section of a department store. A young woman exits the store through the doors near my section and the alarms go off. As there’s no guard present, I call to her to return, figuring we’ve missed one of the hard security tags we use to secure the clothing.

Back she comes into the store. She has no clothing, but she does have a £100+ electric shaver. We put small sticky security tags inside the boxes, which should be deactivated when sold, and again, I figure it has been missed.

Me: “Can I see your receipt?”

Customer: “I can’t find it.”

Me: “How did you pay?”

Customer: “Credit card.”

This is before chip and PIN, so it’s pretty easy to find out if someone has just paid by card; you go to the relevant till and look through the signed slips.

Me: “Which till did you use?”

Customer: “The one two floors up near the electric shavers.”

Me: “Please come with me so I can locate the proof of purchase.”

She complied. I opened the till and there were no corresponding slips; in fact, there were hardly any slips at all, as it isn’t exactly a busy section. She still insisted she’d bought it, but at that point, security was involved.

A few days later, I was told she had indeed been arrested for shoplifting.

I continue to boggle at the mistakes she made. She returned to the store; if she’d bolted when I called after her, I couldn’t have caught her. She claimed she paid by card, which was so easy to disprove. She willingly followed me to a section of the store that couldn’t be further away from the exits, so she couldn’t then make a run for it when it became obvious she’d tried to steal the item.

As a reward, I was given one of our store’s annual edition teddy bears.

A huffy customer comes in with a return.

Customer: “I never get good service, whoever I go to! You really messed it up big time!”

Me: *Confused* “Uh… what?”

She shows me that she has a planner book for the year before, with a receipt proving she bought her item recently. This is from a different location and the problem obviously the fault of the manufacturer.

Me: “I can refund this for you. But… you do know that I didn’t make this mistake, right?”

Customer: “So? You’re all the same!”