That’s A Compliment In Anyone’s Book

, , , , , | Right | July 23, 2019

(I work at a bookstore. A man comes in and asks me to recommend him a book. I ask the usual questions: what sort of thing does he like, what books has he liked in the past, and so on. With that information, I select a book, which he buys. A few days later, he comes back in.)

Customer: “That book was great! Couldn’t put it down! Can you write me another one?”

Me: “Can I recommend you another, you mean?”

Customer: “No, I mean are you going to write a sequel?”

Me: “Oh. I’m not a writer. The book was written by [Author]. I don’t think it has a sequel, but I can find you other books they’ve written if you like.”

Customer: “Oh. So… you didn’t write the books in the shop?”

Me: “I… No. I just sell them.”

Customer: “Oh. I always thought you guys wrote all the books in the shop!”

Me: “I wish. I’d be a lot richer if I did. We just sell them; we don’t write any of them.”

(The man look suddenly dejected and a little embarrassed, so I quickly add:)

Me: “I mean, it’s not uncommon for writers to work in bookshops. Some of my colleagues are writers, but as far as I know, none of their books are sold here. But somewhere there’s probably a writer who has their books in the shop they work in.”

(The man goes red, obviously embarrassed, so I decide to change the subject.)

Me: “Would you like me to recommend something else? [Author] has written quite a few books. If you liked that one, you’d probably really like these.”

(I led him over to a shelf and grabbed a few books, talking him through each one. I’m an avid reader and have read many of the books in the store, including the ones I am recommending. The man bought several books, apologised for what he said, and left. He’s been coming in every week for a while now to find a new book. Sometimes he apologises again for thinking we wrote the books but I always tell him it’s not a problem and that actually, I’m flattered that anyone would think I could write such good books.)

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Caught Them Coffee-Handed

, , , , | Right | November 13, 2018

(My mum is waiting for me in a popular coffee shop. She grabs a coffee while she waits for me to get off work nearby. After a while, she needs the restroom, so she leaves the table for a few moments. When she returns:)

Random Customer: “Hey! Cheeky cow! What do you think you’re doing?!”

Mum: “What?”

Random Customer: “You can’t just drink someone else’s coffee, lady!”

Mum: “What are you talking about? This is my coffee.”

Random Customer: “Er, no, it isn’t. I’m getting you kicked out!”

Mum: “It is my coffee. I just went to use the ladies; that’s all.”

Random Customer: “Yeah, right.”

(The random customer then cuts the queue to rant at the barista about my mum. The barista looks over, and tells the man that my mum did indeed pay for the drink, and is entitled to drink the coffee she paid for.)

Random Customer: “But I was here! She just walked up and started drinking it!”

Barista: “Yes, because she paid for it. You walked in just after she got up to go to the restroom. It is her coffee; now leave her alone, or you’ll have to leave.”

(This apparently embarrassed the random customer enough to shut up. Later, Mum dropped her walking stick to the floor, and the same random customer who accused her of drinking someone else’s drink came over, picked it up for her, and walked off without another word.)

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Unfiltered Story #120919

, , | Unfiltered | September 13, 2018

(I work in a leisure centre that has a pool, a gym, squash, bowls, fun-play, roller-skating, classes and a cafe. Most of our locals are members so they just swipe in when they come in the building. We do not always know new members, hence…)

Customer: *just thrusts his card at me and glares*

Me: “Hello! What is that for?”

Customer: *he just glares at me as if I have just asked him to kill a puppy* “TO LOG IN!”

Me: “And what are you doing?”

Customer: *glares again* “LOGGING IN!”

Me: “To do what?”

Customer: “GYM!”

(Okay, I purposely look all innocent sometimes when we get an arrogant but it is so much fun watching them getting all ‘me’.)

That Should Perk(ins) You Up A Little Bit

, , , , | Friendly | December 9, 2017

(I look similar to the comedian Sue Perkins to the point where random people I don’t know comment on it. I’ve found out that two-thirds of the employees of the company I work for, including me, are either going to be made redundant. As it’s early days, no one at the company knows what’s actually going to happen to us, including the people who have made this decision. My biggest issue with the entire situation is the fact I had just felt like I had gotten my life back on track after a nasty period of time, and that has been taken from me. I’ve been messaging a friend about it, when she decides to call me. We have a bit of a conversation when this happens:)

Friend: “Just remember, though, there is only one you in the world, and no one can replace you.”

Me: “Sue Perkins.”

Friend: *pause* “Well… That’s a pretty good replacement, to be fair.”

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