I was a software engineer at a large company with little tolerance for downtime. Understandably, they were very strict about software change management. Even the most minor change to the production environment had to be carefully documented in great detail.

Once the change was fully documented, it had to be approved by every group that would be impacted in any way. This was usually the most difficult step, requiring nagging emails and often desperate phone calls over a two-week period to people who had no motivation to take the time to open the change management tool, find the change, read through the details, and take responsibility for approving it for their department.

But sometimes emergencies arise, so there was a simple process to bypass that final time-consuming step. The only approval required to implement an emergency change was from the manager of the person making the change. But the person making the change would then have only three days to collect all the rest of the approvals or the change would be classified as “Unauthorized”.

One application team deployed a software update that was failing intermittently. My manager approached me to see if I could provide a simple fix.

Manager: “Do you think you can mitigate this issue by modifying the container configuration, or does the application team need to fall back to the last release?”

Me: “Would I have to modify it as an Emergency Change?”

Manager: “Yes, of course.”

Me: “And if I don’t get all the sign-offs in three days, I get dinged?”

Manager: “An Unauthorized Change would be a very serious violation.”

Me: “Serious like a note in my file or like losing a bonus?”

Manager: “That’s up to the Change Team. Anything up to and including termination.”

Me: “No, I don’t think modifying the configuration will work.”

A couple of weeks later, after this issue was resolved, my manager asked if I really could have fixed the problem. I didn’t directly answer, but I told him that I would never, under any circumstances, take responsibility for an Emergency Change.

And I never did.

As well as being a design engineer, I was considered a Lead Auditor by my previous employer. As such, I would be asked to go to their other sites and carry out Health, Safety, and Environmental audits. Most of the time, all was fine and dandy, but there were a couple of Not Always Working-worthy moments. Both involved heat treatment plants, but not the one I wrote about in this story.

The first one was when I saw someone not wearing safety glasses in the plant in an area that was clearly signposted as requiring safety glasses. I asked him about it; as a permanent member of staff in the area, his training would have required him to know the required PPE [personal protective equipment].

Worker: “Oh, these are safety glasses. I just removed the shields as they got in the way.”

I had to point out that this was not just breaking company policy but breaking the law.

The second tale happened at a different site. Heat treatment isn’t just a matter of heating and cooling of metals. Well, it is, but it’s how you heat and cool them down that matters. Did you know that to give some steels a very hard surface, you heat them in a bath of potassium cyanide?

As you can imagine, you have to be very careful about how you store these chemicals. My knowledge of chemistry isn’t that great, but I have read enough Agatha Christie to know that cyanide salts are very dangerous.

Something else I read was a note on the sacks of potassium cyanide stored on pallets in the chemical storage area — that these must not be stored next to acids. This is because acids plus cyanide salts will create hydrogen cyanide gas, which is quite high up on the list of Chemicals To Run Away From Really Fast.

Stored next to these sacks were acids.

I raised this as a major non-conformance, which in these sorts of audits is the highest level: basically, it’s only luck that’s stopping you from having a major incident. I made sure the heat treatment manager and the site health and safety manager were aware, and I made it very clear in my audit report, of which they both got copies.

A year later, I was back at that heat treatment plant. The heat treatment manager was very keen to show me the improvements they had made since the last audit. No longer were these dangerous chemicals stored on pallets in the middle of the chemical store room; the room now contained several special heavy-duty lockable chemical storage safes. This added an extra level of security instead of just relying on the lock to the chemical storage room.  

He opened one safe to show me what was inside: several sacks of potassium cyanide salts… right next to the same acids as before.

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Managers Might Not Foresee What Happens, But Our Readers Will

I was in a lecture on fluid dynamics in my final year of university. There was a LOT to cover. The lecturer was writing it all on the whiteboard, and we were scribbling it all down.

As you’d expect in any engineering lecture, Greek symbols were used a lot, including one new one. It was a vertical squiggly line, and it cropped up a LOT in the lecture.

It was only just toward the end of two hours of note-taking that the lecturer made some comment that made the entire class groan.

There were TWO very similar-looking Greek letters he had been using throughout the lecture, but everyone thought it was the same vertical squiggle!

Ugh.

Many years ago, I worked for a multinational engineering company in the aerospace industry. At this point in my career, I was on secondment to the Health, Safety, and Environment department, writing procedures at the site and corporate levels. And as such, I would periodically meet up with a group of HS&E managers from other sites.

Before one particular meeting, the HS&E manager of one site was having a bit of a venting session about what had happened at his site. In addition to HS&E manager, he was also the facilities manager for that site. His site was getting ready to move to a brand new facility. One of the things that wasn’t going to be there was a heat treatment plant. The old site had one, but it wasn’t being moved.

Heat treatment is required for things like hardening steels. Being an aerospace company, there are extremely strict processes that have to be followed, and only facilities that have proper aerospace industry accreditation can be used. You can’t take a component that’s going onto an aircraft and have it heat-treated at just any old place; even if that place did it properly, if the place wasn’t certified, you’d be breaking the law to put the component on a plane.

Even with certification, a change of heat treatment plant would require full inspection of the first batch of each component that goes through it. It’s not a quick process. 

Hence the venting session. You see, this move had been known about for a couple of years. And everyone knew that the heat treatment plant at the old site would be switched off for decommissioning on a certain date — no ifs, no buts, no extensions. 

How did everyone know? Aside from the usual site-wide communications, there were regular start-of-the-week production meetings attended by managers at all levels. And this facility manager attended these meetings to remind everyone that on this particular date the heat treatment plant would be switched off. So, that was at least one reminder a week for over a year.

Our meeting happened a few days after The Big Switch-Off. 

He was venting about all the managers who rang him up on Big Switch-Off Day to complain that they couldn’t get their parts heat treated and to demand to know why they hadn’t been told.

My colleague is a female engineer from Germany. She can be very defensive when her ideas are challenged, arguing that she is not wrong and the other person is just bothered by a smart woman from another country.

I am in a meeting with her and several members of management when a problem comes up. This is one of the first video meetings at the beginning of the project in late 2020.

Me: “If we follow the plan as it has been laid out, we will have to delay by eight to ten weeks waiting for the parts to be manufactured and shipped from Germany. I think we should look for local resources, instead. This could save a lot of money in shipping costs and cut down on the timeline.”

Colleague: “No! It must be this way! What is so ridiculous?! Just order them.”

Me: “Well, shipping processes all over the world have been delayed due to the [health crisis]. I’m suggesting we look into alternative options that are just as good that can be delivered much faster.”

Colleague: “No! We purchase from these companies in Germany; they will deliver here.”

Me: “Yes… in two months. We need them sooner.”

Colleague: “[My Name], you need to understand. These products must come from that company. That is how we do it in Germany.”

Me: “I understand, but you’re talking about products that don’t have to be shipped across the world because they are manufactured in the same country. I think—”

Colleague: “No. This is not a debate. We will use the company in Germany.”

Finally, the customer — the one representing the company paying for the whole project — chimes in.

Customer: “[My Name], please get a list of resources. If any of them are the same or better quality as what we are waiting for in Germany, we will reach out to the supplier with the best price. If the local resources fall short, we will delay.”

Colleague: “This is ridiculous! All the time, everyone is doubting me! I will quit!”

There is silence in the meeting. [Colleague] realizes she has overplayed her hand. 

Colleague: “Fine. I do not think you are right, [My Name] but since everyone agreed with the man and not the woman, fine.”

Customer: “I thought [My Name] was a woman?”

Me: “I am.”

Colleague: “You look like a man looking like a woman. How was I to know?”

Customer: “[Colleague], I think you should excuse yourself from the project indefinitely.”

He booted her from the call and told our supervisor that he would not work with us as long as she was involved. [Colleague] was sent back to Germany in a few days. I did find local suppliers who could get what we needed in two weeks’ time and saved thousands of dollars in delays and shipping.