(My first job is a design engineer as for a small company. The boss has no design training or experience but likes to think he knows better than me and frequently overrides my decisions on design of small parts. I design a simple hinge to allow the legs of a piece of mobile equipment to swing in and out and be locked in position.)

Boss: “It’s too blocky. Make it more round.”

Me: “The edges are rounded. No one will hurt themselves off it.”

Boss: “No, it needs to look more curvy.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

(The boss then proceeds to draw a new design that cuts out all extra material including the hole for locking in place during transport.)

Me: “How will we lock the legs in place during transport?”

Boss: “Oh, we’ll worry about that later. Just make it up like that.”

(A couple of weeks later boss is in my office again when a coworker comes rushing in.)

Coworker: “[My Name], we need some way to lock the legs in place! Look, there’s only these two holes. How can we lock the legs in place during transport?”

Boss: “Haha! You didn’t think of that with your fancy college degree, did you?!”

Me: “…”

(I’m a senior engineer, as such have a company mobile and am paid to answer it after hours. I do so whenever possible even taking it on holiday with me until…)

Boss: “I have dozens of complaints about you not answering your phone.”

Me: *knowing otherwise* “I can’t see why. When did this happen?”

Boss: “Dozens of people have told me. I have their emails.”

(He opens his emails, scrolls through finding nothing.)

Me: “Look, I always answer my phone, I can show you calls from 5 am to 11 pm, I have no missed calls, no messages, and no texts.” *getting irate* “If this is such an issue, call HR and we will sort this out.”

Boss: “I don’t like your tone; maybe I should stop your phone payment.”

Me: “Please do. You would be doing me a favour. I am the only one who takes it seriously. How many times have [Coworker #1] and [Coworker #2] just ignored the call? The payment is not worth missing out on my holiday and weekends.”

(There is a silence, as the realisation comes across my boss’s face that I am the only guy he has got dependable enough.)

Boss: *suddenly sheepish* “I, err, well I don’t want to have to take the money off you. I’m doing this to help you.”

Me: “Oh, no, please don’t do me any favours. If you are getting complaints then it must be serious. I would be happy to turn my phone in.”

Boss: “Well, I, err, maybe we can try you for a little longer and I can talk to these people.”

Me: “Yeah, sure, you do that.”

(Six months later I’m still on call out and my coworkers are still not answering their phones despite being paid to do so! I find out who complained, it was one time when I had no signal and wasn’t an emergency.)

(I mistakenly mention that I have some experience in a piece of software that my company uses, even though I make it clear I only have basic knowledge I am now suddenly the company’s ‘expert.’)

Boss: “Why haven’t you sorted out the software issue on [machine].)

Me: “…Err, like I mentioned, I’m not 100%—

Boss: *interrupting* “It’s easy; you just call them up. I don’t understand why you are having such a hard time about this…”

(He continues getting more condescending, despite knowing nothing about the software himself.)

Boss: “I mean, if I had to do it, it would only take an hour. Come on. They do all the work for you.”

(I have had about enough.)

Me: “For your information, there are several packages. Any number of these could work but won’t because of future limitations. Even if you did manage to choose the right fit the whole system has to be harmonised, or it won’t work. And no, the company acts as a third party so it doesn’t know about the system they are selling.”

(A moment of silence.)

Boss: “Well, I still think—”

Me: “—No , just no. If you would like to do this yourself I would be more than happy to learn from you. But this is the way it is.”

(He never did show me how to do my job and when I did finally manage to get all the information sorted the system worked perfectly.)

(I have known my boss for years; he is a nice guy but a bad boss. I’m waiting outside his office. A worker comes out looking angry. I enter the office after he leaves.)

Boss: “I have had enough of [Worker]. How hard is it to get in on time?!”

Me: “Yeah, I know, he is always making up the most stupid excuses. Oh, are you still picking me up tomorrow?”

Boss: “Yes, of course. About 6:30?”

Me: “Yeah, sure.”

(The next morning, I’m waiting outside in my work gear. I get there early so I don’t make him wait for me. 6:30 and nothing. 6:35 and still nothing. At 6:40 I am starting to get concerned. At 6:45 I call him.)

Me: “Hi, [Boss], er are you nearly here?”

Boss: “Hmm, what?”

Me: “Are you nearly at my house?”

Boss: “Oh, c***, what time is it? Where? What? I will be there in an hour.”

(He turned up an hour-and-a-quarter later. The worst part: he doesn’t clock on, but I was marked down as late!)

(I interview for a position in a company. The company seems disorganised, and the interview process is very poor. I eventually get a call back.)

Caller: “Hi, is this [My Name]?”

Me: “Speaking.”

Caller: “This is [Caller] from [Company]. I’m calling about your interview.”

Me: “Okay, yes.”

Caller: “We would like to make you an offer of amount [£1000 above my asking rate].”

Me: “Oh, great. No thanks.”

Caller: “Sorry, did you say no? It’s more than you asked for. Have you found another job?”

Me: “No, no. I’m still looking.”

Caller: “So why are you refusing the job?”

Me: “Well. to be honest with you, despite the fact that you left me waiting around for nearly quarter of an hour, and despite that I was subject to a quiz that I wasn’t warned nor prepared for, the job requirement and what you expect for the applicant just don’t match up.”

Caller: “I don’t follow.”

Me: “You say you are looking for an engineer, but looking around and talking to your staff, you need a manager there. I just don’t think I can make the difference you need in that role.”

(I’m beaming inside, as that sounded (out loud at least) like an intelligent technical response, completely pulled out of the air. I know I can do the manager job, but it is a different pay scale completely.)

Caller: “Well, you could do those bits on top of your normal job..”

Me: “Unpaid, unrecognised, and not on the job description?”

Caller: “Err, yes, that does sound a bit silly, doesn’t it?”

(I wrap up the call. She states that she will go away and talk to her boss. I get another call.)

Caller: “Hi, [My Name]. I spoke to my boss who said that he can change the job description to include those extra roles.”

Me: “The same title?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “No extra money?”

Caller: “Err… yes.”

Me: “No, I don’t think so.”

Caller: *sounding deflated* “Oh.”

(I didn’t hear anything from that company again, but I kept getting called from several different recruiters, telling me how perfect I would be for that role and how urgent it is that they get someone, but never any more money and always the same title.)