(I am an engineer. Some of my colleagues from Germany are working on a project that unfortunately shares an acronym with a certain American hate group. They are visiting the states to attend a conference for said project and needed to stop and ask a local cop for directions.)

German Colleague: “We’re a bit lost; can you give us the directions to [Hotel]?”

Policeman: “Oh, sure! You’re pretty close, it’s [gives directions]. What brings y’all to the states, by the way?”

German Colleague: *not realizing this answer is a bit questionable* “Oh, we’re going to a KKK meeting!”

Policeman: “…Oh. All right, you gentlemen have a good night.”

(They made it to the hotel and the police showed up not long after that, to investigate the alleged Klan meeting! When it was revealed to be a big misunderstanding everyone involved laughed hysterically. This happened several years ago and we laugh about it to this day.)

(I’m coming back from a business trip. I left very early two days ago, haven’t really slept, and arrive at two am. I am very tired and just want to get the two hour drive home over with.)

Me: “Hi, I have a reservation for [Last Name].”

Car Rental Assistant: “Oh, yes, I see it. It is a [Cheapest car the company could hire].”

Me: “Uh, great. Is that what they booked?”

Car Rental Assistant: “Sorry, yes.”

Me: “Oh, well, here the company card.”

Car Rental Assistant: “I’m sorry, that has been declined.

Me: “What? Please try it again.”

Car Rental Assistant: “No problem… It seems that the card is registered as stolen. Do you have another method of payment?”

Me: “No, that can’t be. I arranged for this card for this very reason.”

(I start to panic a little. No one will be at work for another six hours, I have very little in the bank, and my credit card is widely not accepted.)

Me: “Please tell me you take [Credit Card].”

Car Rental Assistant: “Hmm, I will have to check.”

(She leaves the desk. It is dark, raining, and miles from home, when:)

Car Rental Assistant: “Yes, we do, although I must admit we don’t get many of these, through.”

(I thank her profusely, finally making my way home. The next day at work:)

Me: “Can you tell me why the card is marked as stolen?”

HR: “Oh, yeah, I meant to tell you. We renewed the card while you were away.”

Me: “You do know you nearly stranded me at the airport?”

HR: “Yeah, sorry. I can repay your costs?”

(That wasn’t the first or last mistake she made: wrong hotels, cheapest flights at the most inconvenient times, and generally being useless. From then on I ensured that I booked everything myself.)

(I run a small team but my boss is so overbearing he tries to make all the decisions, despite not being up to scratch.)

Me: “Just to let you know we had a guy call in sick.”

Boss: “Who is there to cover?”

Me: “Well, that is an issue. [Worker #1] in on holiday, [Worker #2] has just finished his shift and legally cannot work. I have spoken to [Worker #3] but he is being difficult. We do have [Worker #4] but I know that he isn’t ideal…”

Boss: “You tell him to get in here and cover that shift or I will fire him!”

Me: “No disrespect, but you cannot do that. He has every right to refuse working extra hours and it’s not in his contract.”

Boss: *breaks into a rant about my leadership and how I’m not doing my role properly* “It looks like I’m going to have to do this for you.”

Me: “Okay, well, sure. Give him a call.”

(I leave the office, I happen to know that the worker in question is difficult anyway, but I also know that he was planning to be away from home. I give it an hour.)

Me: “So did you get [Worker #3] to come in, then?”

Boss: “No, they have their right to have time off. I let him have it off. I think we should ask [Worker #4] to do it.”

Me: *internal sigh* “Great idea. I have already asked him and he has confirmed that he will do it.”

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(I’m an Irish woman but often travel to a mostly male UK office for work. One coworker thinks he is hilarious and tells me either a sexist or an Irish joke every time I visit. I always laugh it off or ignore him. One morning he is trying harder than usual to get a reaction and I am totally ignoring him until:)

Coworker: “All I’m saying is, a hundred years ago women didn’t have the vote and we had an empire. Now women have the vote and we don’t have an empire.”

Me: “Well, you shouldn’t have lost all those wars, then!”

Other Coworkers: *loud laughter*

(The funniest part is a few months later I met him outside of the office, with his wife. He never said a single sexist thing in front of her and seemed terrified I might tell her what he’s like in the office. I was nothing but polite and he left me alone after that.)

(I’m Irish, everyone else in the room is British. We are stepping through a complicated calculation checking for errors. Each row of the calculation is labelled alphabetically.)

Me: “There’s an error in row R.” *describes error*

Coworker #1: “Which row?”

Me: “Row R.” *describes error again*

Coworker #2: “Sorry which row did you say?”

Me: “Row R!”

(All look confused, looking a each other.)

Me: “Row R!” *pointing and wondering how I can say it any more clearly*

Coworker #3: “Oh! It’s Irish for ‘Awww’!”

Everyone: “Oh! ‘Awww!'” *laughter*

Me: “…”

(That’s when I learned that English people pronounce the letter ‘R’ without making the sound ‘R’ actually makes!)