A Cake With A Bald Statement

| CA, USA | Learning | April 29, 2016

(We are reviewing various disease states that cause neurological degeneration, such as dementia and multiple sclerosis. Our bald instructor gets to the slide about syphilis, which causes neuro issues… and baldness. We give him very pointed looks. The next week, one of my classmates brings in a homemade carrot cake.)

Classmate: “Hey, [Teacher], I made you a cake!”

(She uncovers the cake, which reads “Sorry About Your Syphilis.”)

Teacher: “Syphilis is delicious.”

Healer, Hear Thyself, Part 3

| MA, USA | Learning | May 4, 2013

(I am the lead instructor for an Emergency Medical Technician class. During practical sessions, I walk from station to station ensuring that none of my lab instructors or students have questions, no one is falling behind, etc.)

Lab Instructor: “You have been called to the scene of an unresponsive man. You and your partner arrive at the scene with the equipment provided.”

Student #1: “I make sure the scene is safe.”

Lab Instructor: “The scene is safe.”

Student #1: *freezes* “Uh…”

Lab Instructor: “Remember the steps from the certification video.”

Student #1: *points to his partner* “You! Call 911!”

Me: “You… are… 911.”

Student #2: “Well, we’re here!”

 

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Proof That God Is A Chinese Lady

, | | Right | January 16, 2008

Me: “We’re going to take you to the hospital.”

Patient: “NO! I don’t wanna go there, they’ll arrest me!”

State Trooper: “Did you do anything wrong?”

Patient: “NO! I don’t wanna go to the hospital!”

Me: “Well you’re pretty banged up. We have to take you for your own good.”

Patient: “NO! The Chinese Lady is gonna stick an AIDS needle in my a**!”

Me: “There are no Chinese ladies at this hospital.”

Patient: “I’m scared! Last time I went to the hospital the Chinese lady stuck an AIDS needle in my a** and I bled out of my a**!”

Me: “Don’t worry, we won’t let any Chinese ladies near you.”

(We get to the hospital.)

Me, to my partner: “Oh my God, his nurse is Chinese.”

Patient, as we walk away: “STAY AWAY!”

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