The Treaty Of Versailles Was Very Unfair To Goths

, , , , | Right | October 21, 2018

(I am the supervisor of an employment resource office, in a small non-profit agency which helps largely indigent and homeless people. This particular client is not the worst I’ve had, but he’s definitely one of the weirdest. He comes in occasionally to utilize the computers and fax machine, have us mail things for him, and apply for jobs, and he almost always says something bizarre.)

Me: “Hi, [Client]. How are you doing today?”

Client: *signing in* “Are you German?”

Me: “Uh, yes, why?”

Client: “I just think it’s funny. [My Name] is a very German name.”

(I get this comment a lot.)

Me: “Oh, it’s actually traditionally an English name! And mine is short for Fitzwilliam, which is Mr. Darcy’s first name in Pride and Prejudice. I am German, though.”

Client: “It’s a very German name.”

Me: “It’s not, though; it’s English. I mean, I guess I can see how—”

Client: *irritated* “No, it’s a German name!

Me: *giving up* “If you say so.”

(After a few minutes of silence.)

Client: *seriously* “Your people were treated very poorly by the Treaty of Versailles.”

Me: “Uh… I wasn’t there, but I guess that’s true.”

(He resumes his job search in silence for the next twenty minutes or so. As he is getting ready to leave, I look up to find him staring at me intensely.)

Client: “Have you been through your gothic stage yet?”

Me: “My what?”

Client: “Your goth stage.”

Me: *caught completely off guard* “I guess… I was kind of a goth in high school, maybe? Why?”

Client: *laughing* “Of course you were. I knew it; I can just tell that about you. Well, have a good day.” *leaves*

(Thanks for the uncomfortable half-hour! I’m already dreading the next time he comes in.)

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The Username Blame Game

| Right | May 7, 2017

(I’m a specialist in an employment office, and a woman is trying to create a profile on Walmart’s website:)

Woman: “I’m trying to put in my password and it’s not taking it. It keeps rerouting me back to another page.”

Me: “Are you trying to log in to your account, or create a new one?”

Woman: “I think I’m trying to create a new one.”

(I go to look at her computer:)

Me: “It says the username you’ve entered is already in use.”

Woman: “Really? Where?”

(I point to a reeeeaaaally bright red sentence against the white backdrop.)

Me: “Right there.”

Woman: “…oh.”

(This woman used to be a secretary and she wanted to be again, but she could barely operate a computer, and couldn’t even see bright red lettering less than a foot from her face.)

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That’s Some Interesting Personal Interests

| Working | November 9, 2016

(I’m the problem here. However, this particular client is very quiet.)

Client: *typing resume* “How do you spell “anus”?”

Me: *gives weird look* “Um… A-N-U-S.”

Client: *gives weird look right back* “Heinous”.

Me: “Oh.”

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