(My bank doesn’t let you take money out of a certain type of account more than twelve times a year without paying a fee. I have this account because the interest rate is pretty good, but I didn’t know about the withdrawal limit. I’m currently at the bank, with my dad, to transfer some of the money from one account to another. This is before I can do online banking, as I’m not eighteen at the time.)

Me: “Hi. I want to transfer some money from one account to another.”

Bank Teller: “All right, can you give me the account numbers?”

Me: “Sure.” *gives her the numbers*

Bank Teller: “Okay, I see here that you’ve taken money out of your account eleven times this year. You can only do it twelve times a year without paying a fee. Are you sure you want to transfer the money?”

Me: “What? I wasn’t aware of that.”

Dad: “Wait. I’ve never heard of this before. Is this new?”

Bank Teller: “Yes, we started with this a couple of months ago.”

Dad: “She’s had this account since she was three years old.” *it was in my parents’ names before I turned sixteen* “Why haven’t we been informed of it?”

Bank Teller: “Well, we just figured that people don’t really transfer or take money out of the bank more than twelve times a year when they’ve got this type of account.”

(My dad looks incredulously at me.)

Dad: “Well, in that case, we would like to close that account, and open another one. The same type of account. As she’s taken out money eleven times, there shouldn’t be a fee to transfer the money to a new account.”

Bank Teller: “I really can’t do that. You can only take money out of the account twelve times a year.”

Me: “Yeah, but if I open up a new account, that shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

Bank Teller: “Well… I’m sorry, but I can’t do that for you.”

Dad: “All right, thanks for your help. We won’t be withdrawing any money today, but we will go across the street to the other bank and switch all our accounts over there.”

Bank Teller: “What? No! I… I can fix it for you!”

(I managed to open up a new account, transferred all of the money over to that one, and closed the old account. Now that I can do online banking, it’s pretty easy to transfer myself, and open up new accounts and close them as I wish.)

(In our office, a third party does our lunch and catering. One of their employees asks for a key to the bicycle shed so he can park his bike safely. He receives one after lunch on a Friday. After cleaning up, he comes to me, the receptionist.)

Employee: “Did anyone hand in a key? I received a key, and I put it somewhere where I couldn’t lose it.”

Me: “And now you lost it. Yeah, I’ve totally had that happen to me. Sorry, no key handed in, but I will put it down on our ‘lost and found’ list, in case it shows up.”

(Nothing gets handed in. Monday morning, the employee returns and not much later, he comes to me.)

Employee: “Eh… I just found the key.”

Me: “Oh? Where did you put it?”

Employee: “The freezer.”

(He had no idea what he was thinking, but at least the key was crisp and fresh when he found it!)

(I have just finished shopping at a grocery store, which is part of a small, local chain. The store staff wears two types of uniform shirts. They are both polo shirts with a small store logo, but the baggers, stockers, base-level associates, etc. wear bright red, and the department managers, shift leads, etc. wear tan. I have just put my groceries in the car, and I am returning my cart to the car corral. The closest one actually is at the store exit, so I am walking through the parking lot with my empty cart, and I pick up another stray cart on the way. As I get to the store exit and am about to push both carts into the corral, I see a tan-shirt smoking outside — which is, by the way, illegal so close to the store.)

Tan-Shirt: “Are you just going to do them two at a time, or what?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Tan-Shirt: “I said, are you just going to collect the carts two at a time? Stop being so f****** lazy and collect them all. You are not being paid to waste your time wandering outside.”

Me: “I don’t work here. I just brought my cart back because I don’t like leaving it stranded in the parking lot.”

Tan-Shirt: “What do you mean, you don’t work here?”

Me: “Do I look like I do?”

(I point to my shirt, which is a maroon t-shirt with a huge Harry Potter design on the front.)

Tan-Shirt: “And you need to wear a proper uniform shirt!”

Me: *turning around and walking back to my car* “F*** you.”

(The tan-shirt kept yelling something about me being fired and such. Good luck, dude.)

(This happens on my way to work. I work in a call center where the dress code is business formal. I normally do a pair of black slacks and a cute but nice shirt. Today I am a bit extra and I am in my tan khakis and a red button-up shirt. I top it with my tan deck shoes and even wear an extra shirt to avoid a panty line showing. I stop at a convenience store for a drink before work, the same cashier that always helps me is there he smiles as I approach, and this happens.)

Cashier: “Hey! You look nice today.”

Me: “Oh, thank you. Yeah, decided to be a bit extra today.”

Cashier: *smirks at me* “So, who are you trying to impress, someone in the office?”

Me: “Pardon? Oh, no, I just wanted to look nice; that is all.”

Cashier: “Oh, well, I was about to say, you spent so much time on the outfit and hair but you didn’t apply any makeup; not going to go far.”

Me: *after handing him the drink* “Can you please ring me up? I need to get to work.”

(I don’t know if it was the tone of my voice, but the rest of the transaction was in silence.)

(I’ve been getting a lot of scam calls since I’ve been on maternity leave, with various claims. This call is the third in one morning, and I’ve had enough.)

Scammer: “I’m calling from [Telecom Provider]. Your Internet is about to be cut off.”

Me: “This is ridiculous; it’s obviously a scam. Please stop calling me. Don’t you have anything better to do? Just f*** off and get a life!” *hangs up*

(Two minutes later the phone rings again.)

Scammer: “F*** you, too!” *hangs up*

Me: *laughs*

(The scammer was actually so upset that he rang back just to say that!)