I was working in a school uniform shop one summer and in the heat, we were all a bit drowsy; the fan had broken and we were about half an hour away from closing time. 

A lady, the mother of someone I knew, came into the store to buy two school ties for her daughter and was served by my colleague. 

About two minutes later, she walked back into the store with her receipt out, her daughter right behind her, and explained that she’d been charged for 21 ties rather than 2! Our shop has a reputation for being expensive, but I don’t know how she thought we were charging over £100 for two ties; the price should have been around £12!

(I’m very careful with my money and budget, and I pay off my credit card every month. I also shop for and get low interest rates. One day, I get a marketing call.)

Caller: “Hello! I can save you money! I see you have a car loan. I can offer a refinance for only [percentage].”

Me: “That’s nice. I am actually paying 4% less than that. Can you beat that?”

Caller: *slightly deflated* “No, ma’am, but I can offer you a credit card for only [percentage]!”

Me: “Thanks, but I already have one for 3% less. Can you beat that?”

Caller: *even more deflated* “No, ma’am. What’s your home loan rate?”

Me: “It’s [percentage]. Can you beat that?”

Caller: *totally depressed* “No, ma’am.” *long pause* “Have a nice day.”

Me: “Goodbye!”

(That felt so good!)

(I’m trying to process an early hook-up incentive for required work going on in my county to switch homes from septic to the county sewer system. I call in to check on the required documents.)

Me: “I just need to know which documents I need to send in for the early incentive.”

County Employee: “You’ll need copies of the permits and your original paid-in-full invoice for the work you had done.”

Me: “Okay, great! My invoicing was all done electronically, so do I just print that?”

County Employee: “No. It has to be the original.”

Me: “I don’t think you understood me. My contractor deals exclusively in electronic invoicing. The original is electronic. No paper version exists.”

County Employee: “It has to be the original paper copy.”

Me: “Which doesn’t exist.”

County Employee: “I don’t know what to tell you. They’ll reject your incentive if it’s not the original.”

Me: “So, is there an email to forward you the original?”

County Employee: “No. It must be mailed in.”

Me: “I really don’t know how else to explain it.”

County Employee: “It must be the original.”

(I never could figure out what this employee didn’t understand about no paper copy existing. My contractor printed a color version and signed it for me. I felt bad making them go through the trouble when I later verified with a different county employee that the printed version would be fine.)

(This takes place shortly before theaters are required to convert to digital projectors. As such, the procedure when a movie is dropped is that the projectionist takes the print the theater was given, breaks it down, and places it in a case; then, someone from the studio comes in and picks up the print. Our projectionist at the time has a bit of a drinking problem.)

Studio Guy: “Hi. I’m here to pick up [Movie we have just dropped].”

Me: “Really? That was fast. Okay, I’ll go check to see if it’s ready.”

(I head to where the broken-down prints are usually stored, but I don’t see it, so I run upstairs to find the protectionist, but I can’t locate him. Finally, I decide to head out and see if maybe he’s at the bar next door.)

Bartender: “Hey, looking for [Projectionist]?”

Me: *somewhat annoyed* “Yeah.”

Bartender: “He’s in the restroom. He should be out shortly.”

Me: “Great… Thanks.”

(When he gets out, I tell him about what’s going on and we both head back to the theater and to the projection booth, where I help him to break down the print, which ends up hitting a snag… literally. When running the print through the machine to break it down, the projectionist’s shirt gets caught in it, taking even more time to get everything straightened out. Eventually, the general manager comes in.)

General Manager: “Hey, guys, is that print ready yet?”

Projectionist: “Not yet; we had a few hangups.”

General Manager: “Okay. I just told the guy what’s going on, and he’ll be back later to pick up the print. [My Name], I need you to head back downstairs. I can help out up here.”

Me: “Got it.”

(The process practically takes the remainder of the evening as the projectionist keeps going off to do other things before the print is even finished… including taking a nap in the storage room. Finally, the print is ready, and the guy comes back to pick it up. By this point, we’re closed for the night, and I’m waiting for the general manager to come down since he was supposed to give me a ride home, but he has to take care of a few things with the projectionist. When he does finally come down, he’s about as angry as I’ve ever seen him.)

General Manager: “Yeah… he is so fired.”

My son is in his high school band. They were on a band trip from Pittsburgh to Lancaster, Pennsylvania. He was sending texts about how bad their bus driver was. She couldn’t get out of the high school parking lot without trouble. At a rest stop, she went in the wrong way to a restaurant.

A few hours later, he texted that everyone was all right, but they were in an accident. One person got hit with a small piece of safety glass when a window broke, but she was fine. The driver was in a tight space and couldn’t turn around, as she was having a very tough time of it. My wife texted asking how close he was to the hotel. His answer was, “Touching it.”