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Worst Possible Service

, , , , | Working | August 31, 2015

(I’m at a well-known ticket booth in Times Square to buy Broadway tickets for myself and a friend. My friend is particular about getting close seats.)

Me: “I’d like two tickets to [Show]. Do I have any choice about the location of the seats?”

Employee: “Well, the computer automatically gives ‘best available.’ But if you want, I can give you ‘worst available.'”

Me: “…”


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Don’t Make Her Dairy, You Won’t Like Her When She’s Dairy

, , , | Working | June 22, 2015

(At the cafe where I work, we make burgers and garden burgers. A customer comes in and asks us many questions about the garden burger, even going so far as to ask for the box so she can check the ingredients and stating multiple times that she is vegan and gluten-free. Our cook makes a big show of using clean new utensils and a pan instead of the grill we cook meat on to make her order.)

Me: “Dude… you put butter in the pan with her garden burger.”

Cook: “So? I always put butter in! It helps keep it from sticking and tastes nice!”

Me: “She just spent ten minutes making sure that the patty was vegan.”

Cook: “So?”

Me: “Butter isn’t vegan! It’s a dairy product, made from milk! She won’t want it!”

Cook: “…”

(After a moment of silence, he shrugs, flips the patty, and nonchalantly replies.)

Cook: “F*** it. She won’t notice.”

(Five minutes later, she got her garden burger, took a bite, and threw a fit, throwing the burger back at our cook before storming off. Guess she could taste it, and he had to wear the greasy stain on his shirt from that burger all night long.)


This story is part of our Vegan Roundup!

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Pretty Green About The Colors Of The Rainbow

, , , , , | Working | June 12, 2015

(I have decided to crochet a blanket using the color of the rainbow, so my sister and I go to a store and place six skeins of yarn on the belt: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. The cashier is a teenage boy.)

Cashier: “That’s a lot of yarn!”

Me: “Yeah, I’m making a blanket and wanted the colors of the rainbow.”

Cashier: *stares at yarn for a moment* “Since when is yellow in the rainbow?”

(I start to smile but realize he’s serious. My sister and I give each other a look.)

Me: “Since forever.”


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Hard As Nails

, , , | Working | May 25, 2015

(I am going to a new nail salon in the mall for a manicure. The nail technician is clipping away with nail clippers very fast, and cuts into my skin.)

Me: “Ouch!”

Nail Technician: “Sorry!” *keeps cutting rapidly into my skin, causing it to bleed*

Me: “Ouch! OW!”

Nail Technician: “Sorry!” *now uses a nail file on my cut and bleeding nail bed*

Me: “Ow! Stop!” *snatches my hand away*

Nail Technician: *annoyed* “I said sorry already! Beauty is pain, you know, so stop complaining!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(She says nothing else and finishes my manicure. I am dying to get out of there, and I go up to pay. My poor fingernails are still bleeding and throbbing. She follows me.)

Nail Technician: “You know, you should really wax off that mustache! We have good prices for waxing!”

Me: *glare*

(Needless to say, she didn’t get a tip, and I didn’t go back. Last I heard, it was made into a clothing store!)


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Hats Off To Bad Service

, , , | Working | May 22, 2015

(My family is on a flight back to New York City. My older brother is wearing a Yankees baseball hat.)

Flight Attendant: “Hello, what drink can I get you today?”

Brother: “I’ll have a Coke, please.”

Flight Attendant: “Before I serve you, I’m gonna need you to take off that hat.”

Brother: *thinking he is joking* “Ha, good one.”

Flight Attendant: “No, I’m serious. Take off the hat.”

(My brother made light of the situation and eventually got his Coke. My family, however, was confounded that the flight attendant was actually serious about the hat!)


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