(I am paying for my items when this exchange occurs:)
Me: *to the cashier* “Hello, how are you today?”
Cashier: “I‘m a bit tired. I‘m working a double-shift today.”
Me: “Oh, well, you should treat yourself to a coffee. It might wake you up a bit.”
Cashier: “No, coffee makes me poop.”
Me: “Oh… well, I guess you could get a tea?”
(I am the store manager of a big-box outlet. I’m in my office checking my emails when I suddenly hear the electronics department manager over the public address.)
Electronics Manager: *over the PA* “[New Hire], if you can hear me… YOU’RE FIRED!” *pause* “Please head to the store manager’s office to pick up your termination papers.”
(I am in complete disbelief at what I’ve heard. She is referring to a new hire who has been, simply put, problematic. It’s his first shift back from a three-day suspension, and he’s already on his last chance. However, I wasn’t expecting him to be fired so quickly; I haven’t even prepared his pink slip yet! I’m just as confused as he is when he comes into my office. Since lateness is one of his many issues, I check his punches, and learn that he has in fact clocked in an hour late. Since he is already on his last chance, I explain to him that yes, he is fired, as I quickly prepare his termination slip, hand it to him, and send him on his way. After a quick call to the district office explaining what happened, I call the electronics manager — who isn’t exactly a model employee herself — to my office. She comes in smiling proudly as if she’s just won the Nobel Prize.)
Electronics Manager: “So, how’d you like my creativity?”
Me: *pause* “Actually, I was quite amused by it.”
Electronics Manager: “Really? Why, thank you! Honestly, I impress even myself some—”
Me: “However, not only did you once again go over my head in firing someone from your department, but what you did was essentially yell at him in front of the entire store — unacceptable, and completely unprofessional! Sign your reprimand and go home. We’ll discuss this further tomorrow morning.”
(I hand her a writeup for yelling in front of customers and violating termination protocol. She nonchalantly signs it.)
Electronics Manager: *smirking* “Totally worth it.”
(You should have seen the look on her face when she was forced to explain her actions to the district manager the next day. Needless to say, with literally dozens of complaints from customers AND security footage corroborating what happened, he didn’t buy her excuses, and gave me the green light to fire her for gross misconduct. We haven’t seen her since then.)
(My dad has recently suffered a head injury; I have been granted power of attorney until he recovers. As he is now unable to drive, I have decided to cancel his car insurance. I call up to see what the process is for confirming my ability to manage his policy.)
Insurance Agent #1: “Hello, this is [Insurance Agent #1]. Could I please take your policy number?”
Me: Hi. I’m calling with regards to my dad. He’s just had an–”
Insurance Agent #1: We are unable to discuss someone else’s policy with you, unless you have been previously approved.”
Me: “Yes. I understand–”
Insurance Agent #1: “Are you approved?”
Me: “No, but–”
Insurance Agent #1: “Then we cannot discuss your father’s policy with you.”
Me: “If I could please explain–”
Insurance Agent #1: “We cannot discuss someone else’s policy with you.”
Me: “Please, I’m just needing–”
Insurance Agent #1: “We cannot discuss someone else’s policy with you.”
Me: “Could I speak to someone else, please?”
Insurance Agent #1: ‘We cannot–”
Me: “I would like to speak to someone else.”
Insurance Agent #1: “Please hold.”
(I’m put on hold for about five minutes.)
Insurance Agent #2: “Hello. You’re speaking to [Insurance Agent #2]. How can I assist you today?”
(I explain the issue and she is silent throughout with the exception of the occasional, “Ah,” and, “I see.”)
Insurance Agent #2: “I’m afraid I haven’t dealt with this before. I’ll just quickly put you on hold.” *assuming she fails to put me on hold and doesn’t realise* “She wants to know about power of attorney, you oaf!”
(Realising she’s talking to the previous agent, I burst out laughing. She panicked and profusely apologised. I told her it was fine and that it had brightened my mood. She put me on hold again — this time for real — and came back with everything I needed a couple of minutes later.)
(My cousin and her family live in England but are visiting us in the US for a vacation. One evening, her husband makes a solo trip to the grocery store for a few items.)
Employee: “Hello, can I help you find anything?”
Cousin’s Husband: “Actually, you could. Where could I find… [groceries]?”
(She points him towards what he needs and he goes about his shopping. He sees her again at the till when it’s time to check out.)
Employee: *scanning items* “I was just wondering, where is your accent from?”
Cousin’s Husband: “Oh, I’m from England.”
Employee: “Yes! See, my coworker and I were trying to guess what it was, and that’s what I thought.”
Cousin’s Husband: “Oh, what was her guess?”
Employee: *cheerfully* “She thought you were on drugs!”
(In France, even though we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, we have had Black Friday for a few years. My sister sees that a new coffee maker is on promotion and goes with a friend to buy it because the old one no longer works. She meets anti-Black-Friday demonstrators at the entrance.)
Demonstrator #1: “Don’t go in there!”
Sister: “I need a coffee maker!”
Demonstrator #2: “You are contributing to consumer society!”
Sister: “No, but I need my coffee in the morning!”
(She tries to get into the appliance store but three demonstrators block her.)
Demonstrator #3: “But you can see the conditions of the cashiers in the store! It’s low-wage work!”
Sister: “I know. I’m a cashier, too. We also have Black Friday and yes, it’s a low-wage job; that’s why I buy my household appliances when they’re on sale!”
(The demonstrators finally let him in. Being against consumer society is your right, and wanting to defend the low-wage worker is also good, but do not prevent the low-wage worker from buying when they can buy cheaper!)
