(I’m waiting for a flight and grabbing a bite to eat at a well-known Canadian coffee chain. While I’m in line, I see a new menu item, but I don’t know what’s in it.)

Me: “Hi, what’s in [item]?”

Cashier: *punches in item* “That’ll be [price].”

Me: “What’s in it?”

Cashier: “Pardon?”

Me: “I don’t know what is in the [item].”

Cashier: *points to the sign overhead*

(I can’t see very well without my glasses, so the sign is only slightly helpful and I had seen it from the line to decide to ask about. In particular, there’s something on top of the wrap that looks like it could be potatoes, which I like, or eggs, which I hate, and I have no idea if there are small vegetables like diced onions, or any sauces.)

Me: “I can’t tell what’s in the picture.”

Cashier: *looking at the sign* “Lettuce, tomato, sausage, cheese, and vegetables.”

Me: “Vegetables? What vegetables?”

Cashier: “Lettuce and tomato.”

Me: “Okay… What about that thing on top?”

Cashier: “Vegetables. They’re… fried potatoes.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll get that.”

(It had sauce. No idea what kind. It was quite good, but I hate to think of if I’d had a food restriction.)

(I am going through the carry-on security scanner at the airport and one of my bins is flagged. It contains only my laptop, my shoes, and my earbuds, and I have no idea what the scanner took issue with since they should all be fine.)

Me: *jokingly referring to the machine* “What did it get mad at?”

Security Dude: “I’m not mad at it. I’m just mad that I have to be here on a Saturday morning.”

(Fair, but should you really be telling me that?)

(I am invited to join a conference call with our division manager, in middle management. I don’t know at the time, but they are a real firebrand when roused. Information is given to us, discussion is held, and then they ask if anyone has any questions. I smile inwardly.)

Me: “Yes. I would like to ask about our ‘broken processes.'”

(The manager, assuming I’m talking about the online systems we have been having ongoing problems with, starts talking about initiatives in place to remedy them.)

Me: *stopping them* “No. I don’t mean our computer systems; I mean our interdepartmental processes.”

Middle Manager: “What do you mean?”

Me: “For example. A customer is going to leave us, but we get them to stay with a good offer. Before we can put the order in place to give them that offer, the order to leave must be cancelled in the computer. I have been told that, for the department who does that, nineteen days is considered fast.”

(I go on to name department after department where we have problems like that and conclude with this statement:)

Me: “We cannot do our jobs because the other departments are not supporting us. The processes are broken.”

(Manager raises and bonuses are dependent on the performance of their departments. I had just told them of a serious threat to their income. I found out later that our division manager went on the warpath. The department where a task being done in nineteen days was fast? It went to 48 hours being slow.)

I have one coworker who just doesn’t have any common sense. We have a list of customers who we are not allowed to accept checks from, because they have written bad checks in the past. One customer on the list comes during my shift, and I refuse her check. She leaves without buying anything, and I think that is that.

The next day, I am doing the daily deposit, and noticed that the same exact check was accepted! The customer had ripped off the top part of the check, where her name was. But her signature was very clearly legible. My coworker admitted to taking the check and saw nothing wrong with taking a check that not only was ripped, and thus missing important information, but was from someone on our clearly posted “no-checks” list! 

Sadly, he wasn’t fired, because he was one of the few employees who showed up for every shift.

(I have come to the self-checkouts. I notice a cash-only checkout that is free and walk towards it with intention to use it. A worker approaches me.)

Worker: “Excuse me. This is a cash-only register.”

Me: “I saw. I’m paying cash.”

(I put my things down on the shelf and begin scanning.)

Worker: “Excuse me! That register is cash only!”

Me: “I said I know.”

Worker: “Are you paying cash? That register is cash only!”

(I ignore her and finish scanning. I grab my loyalty card and try to scan it. The worker covers the scanner with her hands.)

Worker: “HEY! THIS IS CASH ONLY!”

Me: “I KNOW!”

Worker: “THEN WHY ARE YOU USING YOUR CARD?!”

Other Worker: “D***, [Worker]. Stop bothering customers. He’s scanning his loyalty card.”

Worker: “No, he isn’t. He’s going to yell at us for being stupid!”

(The other worker rolled her eyes and told the worker to move out of the way. The worker reluctantly did and I scanned my card and paid with cash. Before the receipt finished printing, the worker, now red-faced, took over the register, screaming that she was closing it before anyone else could use it with a card.)