I have been on a long car trip with my uncle. I tend to have to pee a lot, so we’ve plotted out our stops to our destination and back home before leaving. We never stop somewhere and only use the facilities; if we don’t need gas, one or both of us will buy a drink or snack.

At this particular stop, our last before home, my uncle is filling up his tank. There is a “Clean Restrooms!” sign in the window, and I need to go, so I head inside. Finding that the restroom door is locked, I approach the employee at the counter.

Me: “Hi! We’re getting gas—”

I point outside through the window behind the employee, where my uncle’s is the only vehicle. 

Me: “—and I need to use the restroom. Could you please unlock it for me?”

The employee says nothing but comes around and unlocks the door, constantly glaring at me, even after I thank him, without looking away once.

While going, it occurs to me that perhaps the station doesn’t get much kick-back from gas sales, and to him, I might as well be using the restroom without making a purchase, so afterward, I grab a drink and a snack and head to the counter.

Employee: *While ringing me out* “Next time, you don’t ask me to unlock the restroom for you! You ask me if you can use the restroom! You are a woman! I am a man! I decide when you need to use the restroom!”

Stunned, I think I probably gape like a fish while I go through the motions of paying and then practically run back to the car.

Uncle: “What’s the matter? Are you sick? Why do you look weird?”

I told him what happened and he CATAPULTED out of his low sports car and barreled into the store.

I will never forget the look on that employee’s face when my 6’3″, pissed off, long-haired, bearded Native American uncle came charging toward him! I wish I could give a more satisfactory ending, but it’s been so long that I don’t remember the exact words that he screamed at the employee, only that the little vein in his temple that tells me when he’s REALLY mad was bulging! We’ve never stopped at that gas station again.

It is the mid-1980s and my mum is pregnant with me. She is about to take her driving test for the second time. Dad has brought her to the test centre and they are waiting for the examiner to arrive.

Eventually, he comes over with some paperwork and practically throws it at Mum.

“And do you have any other disabilities besides being pregnant?” he asks.

Mum is upset; Dad is furious. Not surprisingly, Mum fails her driving test, and she and Dad make an official complaint to the Driving Test Centre about the examiner’s attitude. Dad conveniently mentions that he is a serving police officer and that police driving instructors would never talk to anyone like that, so civilian instructors definitely should not. All the examiners have to undertake retraining following the incident and the rude examiner is moved to another location.

Mum passed her test on her next attempt.

My husband and I are visiting a local ice cream shop. Because I’m trying to watch my weight, I’ve decided to get frozen low-fat yogurt, instead. This shop’s way of doing frozen yogurt is to take a wrapped square of yogurt from the freezer, unwrap it, toss it into a machine, add some flavouring, and mix it all up.

On this particular day, the shop is REALLY busy. I start to eat.

Me: “Ugh. What the heck?”

I reach into my mouth and pull out a piece of paper.

Me: “That’s weird.”

Husband: “What is that? Is that the wrapping from the yogurt?”

Me: *Investigates cup* “I think so. Look, there’s another piece.”

Husband: “Looks like someone screwed up and tossed the entire thing into the machine without unwrapping it first.”

Me: “I think you’re right.”

I get back in line. The employee I talk to is looking very stressed.

Employee: “Can I help you?”

Me: “Yes. I think someone forgot to unwrap the yogurt before making this, because it’s full of paper, and—”

Employee: “Here.” *Hands me refund* “Next, please!”

Me: “But… I wasn’t asking for a refund. I’d like it to be remade—”

Employee: *Not listening* “NEXT, PLEASE!”

Me: “You’ve probably still got paper in your machine! The next person will get some, too—”

Employee: *Gesturing at the next customer* “I can help you over here, sir.”

Me: *Pause* “I still wanted frozen yogurt!”

I ended up sharing my husband’s.

A customer has been trying to return a blouse she bought nearly three years ago. Our return policy is one month and the blouse isn’t even on our system anymore. I’ve spent several minutes going around in circles with her before she asks for a manager. I turn around to beep for one and quietly let out my frustrations to the colleague stood next to me.

“God, I wish this b**** would f*** off! It’s thirty days, not thirty months! Learn to read!”

My colleague gives me a funny look but I don’t fully register why. I turn back around and the customer is bright red in the face and the entire checkout is staring at me, wide-eyed. The customer grabs her blouse and runs out.

It turns out my colleague had just switched on the tannoy when I started my rant, and the entire store heard me.

I was written up for it and agreed not to be on the checkouts for a while. The store manager found it hilarious, though, and said it wouldn’t go on my quarterly review as it was my first mistake and in his words, “People do make them, just not as spectacularly.”

Both my mother and I have worked at this department store for many years, in different departments. Whenever I get new hires and have to teach them how to talk on the loudspeaker, I always tell them this.

Me: “As long as you don’t say what my mom said during her first shift on the overhead, you’ll be fine.”

New Hire: “What did she say?”

Me: “Keep in mind that her first day on the job was Black Friday. She needed to get a manager’s override and she said, on the loudspeaker for the entire store to hear, ‘Manager’s override needed at check stand… Where the h*** am I?’.”

That always seems to calm the new hires down, especially when they see that my mom is still there and doing fine.

This story is part of our Black Friday 2023 roundup!

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