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Flu Right Over Their Head

, , , , , | Healthy | December 10, 2020

This happens during a year when the flu shot isn’t particularly effective. I get the shot, but I still come down with the flu a couple of months later. My doctor has called in Tamiflu, and I drag myself over to the pharmacy to pick it up, along with a giant Gatorade and some painkillers. The pharmacist is ringing me out.

Pharmacist: “Tamiflu, huh?”

Me: “Yep.”

Pharmacist: *Smirks* “That’s why you get your flu shot, dear. You’ll get it next year, won’t you?”

Me: “Actually, I got the flu shot two months ago in this pharmacy. I’m pretty sure you gave it to me. Now, can I have my medicine without the commentary?”

The pharmacist’s face turned red and he completed my transaction silently.

That Coffee Had Better Be DELICIOUS

, , , , | Working | December 8, 2020

This happens when I’m nineteen and in my first year of college. Naturally, I’m pretty broke at this point, living off a part-time job that doesn’t pay nearly what I need for this education, but it’s all I have. I am NOT a morning person, but I have early morning lectures and that means stopping for coffee to keep me awake to get through them.

There’s a coffee shop built into the building I cross through to get to my lectures, so I stop there every morning. I have the same order every morning so I can keep a close eye on how much money I spend before payday comes, and I very, very rarely, if ever have cash on me. My mother has been gracious enough to give me $20 for food for the week, so I’m paying with that.

Me: “Good morning! May I have [usual order], please?”

Employee: “That’s [amount around $4].”

I hand over the $20 and wait for my change. She punches my order in, hands me $5, and calls for the next person.

Me: “Excuse me, but you didn’t give me all my change. I paid with a twenty and you only gave me $5 back.”

Employee: “You paid with a ten.”

I pause for a second, but she just looks at me like I’m making a problem for her, which irritates me.

Me: “No, I paid with a twenty. I know I did. It’s the only bill I have in my wallet. I want the rest of my change, please.”

Employee: *Shrugs* “I don’t know what to tell you; you paid with a ten. You got your change. You’re holding up the line.”

Having $20 means a lot to me right now, and I need that change back. It’s too early to be arguing about this and I’m starting to get mad. I don’t move.

Me: “No, I paid with a twenty. Give me my change and I’ll leave.”

Employee: *Sighs* “I can’t go through my drawer right now.”

Me: “I paid with a twenty. Subtract [my total] from that and that leaves [amount]. That’s what you need to give me.”

Employee: “I can’t just give you money from my drawer; it’ll be off.”

Me: “Not if you give me my change! Are you serious? I need to get to class, so just give me my change, please!”

Employee: “If you want someone to count the drawer, my manager will be here around 4:00 pm.”

My classes end well before that time.

Me: “Uh, what? No. I’m not going to wait around for someone to count your drawer; I just want my change. It’s [amount].”

Employee: *Irate* “Look, miss, you paid with a ten. I’ve given you the correct change. I’ve served you. You’re holding up the line, so I have to ask you to leave now.”

I was stunned but I still stood there. My two other friends who were in line with me had moved off to the side and were watching this go down. I didn’t move for another minute or so, but the employee was pointedly ignoring me, so I relented and marched to class, but I hadn’t given up.

Unbeknownst to this employee, my uncle is in charge of the company that provides these chain restaurants and food stops for the campus. I’m not aware of his official title, but he does handle employee hiring; I actually worked in a sub shop on this very campus when I was in high school.

I sent him an email explaining the situation and we went back and forth for a bit to figure things out. She didn’t have a name tag, which made things trickier, and she was relentless in saying that she’d done nothing wrong. I didn’t hear from my uncle for a few days and figured the money was lost, but then I got an envelope at home with my correct amount missing and a note saying that the matter was settled.

I’m not sure if she was fired, but I didn’t see her at that particular coffee shop for a while. Unfortunately, that was the only place that had cheap enough coffee and food for my budget, so I kept going there, but I never paid in cash again!

K For “Kid’s Meal,” Q For “Quit Being A Jerk”

, , , , | Working | December 8, 2020

I go into a fast food restaurant in an upper-middle-class neighborhood.

Me: “Hi, can I have a plain quesadilla, please?”

Cashier: “Sure.”

She proceeds to write down “K” on a slip of paper, and she hands it to someone behind her.

Me: *Confused* “Sorry, but why did you sign it with a K rather than a Q?”

Cashier: *Snarkily* “Actually, it’s K for ‘kids’ meal,’ since that version is cheaper. But next time, I’ll be sure to write a Q on it so they’ll charge you $8 for two ounces of cheese and a tortilla.”

Me: “There’s no need to be like that.”

Cashier: “Well, since you haven’t paid, if you want to go somewhere else, the door’s right over there.”

I gladly walked out.

What Is “Feminine,” Anyway?

, , , , , | Working | December 8, 2020

I live in a very conservative area and have an alternative hairstyle — short top with buzzed sides — so it can be a bit tricky for me to get a trim when my usual stylist is unavailable. I’ve got an event coming up and have put off getting a haircut for too long, so I settle for the next available stylist and settle in for the usual ordeal with a new hairdresser.

I sit down and describe in detail my exact cut, indicating lengths and trimmer number. In the mirror, I see the hairdresser scrunch her nose and give my hair a once-over.

Hairdresser: “Are you sure about that? It’s not very feminine.”

Instead of my usual assurances, this time I can’t help but blurt out the first thought that crosses my mind.

Me: “I ain’t going for feminine!”

The hairdresser blinked at me before bursting out laughing. She immediately pulled out the trimmer and got cutting with a grin on her face, and she completed the cut beautifully.

Throughout the process, I heard her occasionally mumbling to herself, “I ain’t going for feminine!” and then giggling. We parted with smiles on our faces, and I made sure to leave a good tip and get her name to add to my list of “people allowed to touch my hair.”

When The Joke Becomes A Joke

, , , , | Right | December 8, 2020

I am paying my credit card with $300 worth of twenties.

Teller: “Wow, these twenties are crisp.”

Me: “That’s because I—”

Teller: *With an exasperated sigh* “Printed it out this morning, I know.”

Me: “No… I pulled it out of the ATM just before I walked in.”

Teller: “Oh.”

Me: “How often do you hear that joke?”

Teller: “All the time.”