During the health crisis, I’ve been ordering curbside pickup and delivery from a large, well-known grocery store. They were bought by a large Internet retailer a couple of years back, so ordering is done via the retail website. At first, it goes off without a hitch, but then I start having issues. One is that no matter what time I place my pickup order for, they start working on it immediately and the order is done really quickly.

Normally, this wouldn’t be something I’d consider an issue, but it’s actually been a pretty big one. For example, one time, I placed my order around 2:00 in the morning to be picked up between 2:00 and 3:00 pm the next day. The next day, I woke up at 9:00 am and saw the text messages: they’d started shopping my order, wanted to know what items to substitute as certain things were out of stock, had substituted items I didn’t want and couldn’t return without going into the store.

Most of the time, I manage to get to the store and pick up my order early or at the time slot I was booked for. For curbside pickup at other stores, you’re normally allowed to pick up any time after the order is ready. Not here. One time, I put in an order and realized I was going to be a bit late for my window. Half an hour after my window, I was leaving my house and I started getting text messages from the retailer, saying how important it was to be on time. Then, when I got there, I was chewed out for being late by the person who brought me my order. From then on, I decided to be more careful about what time I ordered and when I’d get there.

I made a few more orders with not too many issues. Then, I made an order to pick up between 3:00 and 4:00. Somehow, it went through as 2:00 and 3:00 and I didn’t realize. So, I was on my way right after 3:00 and I started getting phone calls that said they were from the retailer. I didn’t pick up, as I was driving, but in my five-minute drive to the store, I had four missed calls. I looked up the number and found out it was from their missed event line. I looked at my order and realized the issue and, luckily, didn’t get chewed out this time.

Finally, I decide to order for delivery. Despite living five minutes away, my local store does not do delivery, so my groceries will come from several cities away. I figure when you order for a specific delivery time, that’s about the time they deliver, right? Wrong. I make my order at 12:00 pm to be delivered at 4:00 pm. At 12:15, they are shopping my order. I get sucked into work and go about my day. Closer to 3:00, I check to see if the order has finished being shopped, and I notice a text message saying that my order was delivered at 1:30. No one knocked or rang the bell. My frozen items are defrosted and ruined.

I’ve decided I’m going to hold off on ordering from these guys again.

I’ve ordered some lunch to-go from a local cafe. I’m a little early but I pop my head in to see if I can collect it yet.

Owner: “No, sorry, it’s not ready yet. In fact, I need to run to the shop.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Any idea how long it will be? Should I pop back later?”

Owner: “No, no. I will only be a few minutes. Take a seat if you like.”

I take a seat in the corner out of the way. The owner shouts through to the back kitchen as she leaves.

Owner: “[Employee], can you watch the front for me, please? I’m running to the shop to get ingredients for this gentleman’s lunch.”

Employee: “I’m on a break.”

Owner: *Looks at the clock* “You’ve had your break; it’s quarter past.”

Employee: “Yeah, but I came back yesterday a minute early, so I’m having an extra minute today.”

Owner: *Shaking her head* “Okay, fine, after your break. Please watch the front.”

She leaves. I read the paper and check my phone. Eventually, the door opens and the owner returns. [Employee] rushes to the till.

Owner: “Did you mind the till? Because you know anyone could come in and open it. We’ve been over this so many times, [Employee].”

Employee: “I was at the till!”

Owner: “Well, why weren’t you here when I came in?”

Employee: “Well, I, err… It’s because… this really mean customer came in and he was shouting and saying we got his order wrong.” *Starts sobbing*

Owner: “Really?”

Employee: *Still sobbing* “What, I’m a liar now?”

Owner: “Okay. Sir, are you still there?”

I walk around the corner.

Me: “Me? Yes, hi.”

Owner: “Did you perhaps see the man who shouted at my staff?”

Me: “Oh, no. No one came in while you were gone.”

Owner: *To [Employee]* “Let’s talk out the back.”

I don’t know what is said, but a door slams somewhere behind me and the owner comes back alone. I get a great lunch and an apology (although I don’t need one). As I am leaving:

Owner: “Sorry about all that. She’s a lovely girl but not the brightest. We have cameras everywhere and this isn’t the first time she has made this sort of thing up.”

I stop by a fast food place after work for a fruit smoothie, which is currently being advertised for $1. I order and hand the cashier a $5 bill with change to cover the tax. He gives me $2 back and walks away. I leave it on the counter while I wait for him to come back.

Me: “Those smoothies are a dollar, right?”

Cashier: “Yeah.”

Me: “Well, I gave you five dollars.”

I’m trying to give him a chance to realize his mistake.

Cashier: “Yeah.”

Me: “And you gave me two dollars.”

I hold up the coin he gave me.

Cashier: “Yeah.”

Me: “So…?”

He just gives me a blank look.

Me: “I’m going to need another two dollars.”

Cashier: “Okay.”

He opened the till and gave me my two dollars. I have no idea if he was just dense, trying to scam me, or what, but it was definitely odd having to walk a twenty-something dude through kindergarten-level math.

I’ve decided to try out a different hairdresser. I find a place nearby and make an appointment. Upon entering, I see that their website spoke quite the truth. It’s a small shop with the male-customer-oriented half just screaming, “MALE!” in a tongue-in-cheek way. Cosmetic articles like sprays, wax, and other stuff are in flasks that are obviously recycled alcohol bottles, for example. The hairdresser and owner himself is a big, tall bloke with a huge beard, some decorative chains around his wrists, and strong, tattooed arms. His manners are relaxed and informal… and very direct.

Hairdresser: “Your turn! Sit down, please.”

I sit down in the chair he points at. He puts a towel over my neck and covers me in a cutting cloak. Then, he stares at me silently. I am autistic, so I am not too good at reading (or especially reacting to) nonverbal signs, while also a bit clumsy at starting a conversation. So I just look back, puzzled. This takes about ten seconds.

Hairdresser: “You’re supposed to tell me how you want it.”

Me: “Oh! Just a cut, same model as I have now.”

Luckily, his voice and a hint of smile made clear to me that he wasn’t being nasty, just direct and informal. It worked for me and he turned out to be a very good hairdresser.

It’s been a while since I took my car for its regular service. I’ve been to the dealership for many years and they do this job for me on a regular basis, so my cars have always lasted a long time. I ring them.

Me: “I’d like to bring my car in for its full annual service.”

Employee: “Are you sure? Do you do a lot of miles in it?”

Me: “Not a colossal mileage. I just like to make sure it’s serviced regularly.”

Employee: “Are you sure you want the full service? From my records, you had the interim service done last [nine months ago].”

Me: “Yes, please.”

Employee: “But I’m not sure the car needs it. Surely you could get away with not servicing it so often?”

Me: “I’ve found that if I get it done regularly, at the times when the manufacturer recommends, it saves me money in the long run because then I don’t have any problems.”

Employee: “Well, if you’re sure… but if it were me, I’d leave it until I needed it.”

Me: “Please, can you book it in for its annual service as I asked?”

Employee: “Well, okay, but—”

Me: “Do you have a slot available?”

Employee: “Yes, we do, but I’m telling you—”

Me: “Sorry, but I really would prefer to get my car in for its annual service. Please, would you do that for me?”

Employee: “It will cost you [some modest amount that is well within my budget]. Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, please. I am sure this is what I want.”

And finally, I was able to persuade her to let me book my car in for its annual regular service.