In soccer, the officials have the discretion to “card” players for unsportsmanlike conduct or other flagrant rule violations. A yellow card gets a player a temporary suspension from the game; red cards get the player removed from the game altogether.

When I was a kid, my dad played in a recreational soccer league for fun and for exercise. He’s level-headed, calm, and rational… and this is the story of how he got his one and only card in soccer.

Dad played striker, one of the main scoring positions. One game, a teammate passed him the ball and Dad dribbled it down the field to take a shot on goal. One of the other team’s defenders slide-tackled Dad from behind, in blatant violation of both the league’s rules and “just playing for fun” spirit. 

Dad picked himself up off the ground and turned to the official, who had yet to blow his whistle to stop play as he should have.

Dad: “Are you gonna call that?”

The official shook his head.

Official: “I didn’t see anything.”

Dad: *Frustrated* “I had the ball; where were you looking?”

The official silently held up a yellow card and sent Dad to the sidelines.

Back when the Affordable Care Act was first implemented, I was only on my mother’s insurance, since I didn’t get insurance through my job. When it came time to do taxes, I used a computer tax program to file. When it got to the part about insurance, I put that I had insurance but didn’t pay anything as I was not the policyholder.

A couple of weeks later, I receive a notice from the IRS saying that my taxes were missing Form 8962, which is the form for insurance. My taxes won’t be filed until it is submitted. I do the form myself and send it in. A few weeks later, I receive my tax return and it is $2,000 more than it should be. I figure out that they gave me the insurance tax credit even though I put on the form that I paid nothing toward the insurance as I wasn’t the policyholder.

I call the IRS and explain the situation and that I do not deserve this money.

Employee #1: “Since our tax department is closed for the rest of the year, there isn’t anyone you can talk to to amend the tax return to return the money.”

After this, I call a few more times and nobody will help me. I set the $2,000 in my savings account and don’t do anything with it.

I receive a letter from the IRS sometime later saying they listened to my phone calls and will investigate the situation, that I don’t have to do anything else, and that they will contact me later. The next tax season rolls around and I haven’t heard anything more. I decide I want to get this situation settled before filing my taxes for that year. 

I call the IRS AGAIN and ask them about the case.

Employee #2: “The case has been closed and the money is yours to keep.”

Me: “What are the chances you could audit me years later and hit me with fines?”

Employee #2: “It could happen, but there’s no way to know.”

I thanked her, hung up, and then thought for a bit. I called the IRS one more time and asked to talk to someone who could look at my previous year’s tax forms. I was transferred to their tax department and the woman there was so helpful. She looked over it with me and said I had done the form wrong, but they should not have sent me that money. She was nice enough to amend my tax forms for me, send them so I could sign them, and give me instructions on how to return the money.

When I received the package, I followed the instructions, sent the amended tax forms and the $2,000 back, and thought nothing of it. Then, I received a letter from the IRS that turned out to be a bill. They billed me $80 in interest for keeping money that I did not deserve. I called the IRS and asked the representative if the fee could be waived since I had tried multiple times to return it, but nobody would work with me. She told me the fee couldn’t be waived. Frustrated, I paid the $80 and tried my best to put it behind me. It hasn’t worked yet since I freak out every time I receive a letter from them.

Related:
Taxing Taxing, Part 10
Taxing Taxing, Part 9
Taxing Taxing, Part 8
Taxing Taxing, Part 7
Taxing Taxing, Part 6

I was hired to a firm after some rigorous testing. They were first going to hire me as a consultant through another firm, but after seeing my test results, they decided that they wanted me to be hired directly to the company, which I agreed to.

As I was still getting used to my new job, I was called in for a meeting together with everyone else who was employed by the company; consultants were not allowed to attend. I was putting my things in drawers at my desk while my coworker waited to show me to the meeting room when the head of a neighbouring department came by.

Department Head: “Where are you going?”

Me: “To the meeting with everyone else.”

Department Head: “That is not for you.”

Me: “I was invited, though; they said everyone should be there.”

Department Head: “It is not for consultants.”

Me: “I am not a consultant.”

Department Head: “Yes, you are. You are hired as a consultant.”

Me: “No, I’m hired directly by [Company].”

Department Head: “No, you are hired here through [Consultant Firm] as a consultant.”

Me: “I was recruited through them, yes, but my contract is with [Company] and I am hired by the company directly.”

Department Head: “No, you are not. You are a consultant. You’ve misread your contract.”

Considering he wasn’t my boss and not the head of Human Resources, I doubt he had ever even seen my contract.

Coworker: “She is supposed to be at the meeting. Our boss asked me to help her to it.”

He finally let us leave but followed us to the meeting, and I saw him talk to my boss. After that, he barely ever spoke to me again unless he absolutely had to.

My parents and I are in a popular ski town and we walk into a restaurant around dinnertime. We are currently the only people there and the weather outside is pretty cold. Our waiter seats us at a table right next to the door.

Dad: “Actually, would you mind seating us further away from the door since it’s cold outside, please?”

The waiter rolled his eyes, picked up our menus, walked to a different table, threw the menus on the table, and then stormed off.

It dawned on us why the place probably was dead around peak dinnertime. We all took one look at each other, shrugged, and decided to go somewhere else for dinner.

I’m going white-water rafting for the first time. The instructor, who’s a baby-faced twenty, decides that we’ll do the easiest river. We go and put on our life jackets and get on the raft and paddle out.

Everything’s fine until, all of a sudden, the raft jerks forward really fast and hits a bump. I go flying out and smash into a rock, elbow first. The instructor begins to laugh maniacally and paddles out to grab me and put me back into the raft, along with others that have flown out, too.

Instructor: *Laughing* “You should’ve seen your faces! I wish I could’ve gotten it for my Instagram.” *Giggles*

Me: “It’s not funny. My arm really hurts!”

This seemed to mollify him, and the rest of the trip was quiet. I went home and wrote him a bad review. Really, do people think others getting hurt is so funny? Luckily, my arm wasn’t broken, but it had a big cut and was sore for days.