My daughter was about two and a half years old. We were in Bavaria on holiday and I took her to a nearby town for a bit of a stroll and window-shopping. We came across one of those very expensive dolly shops for collectors. Everything was just beautiful, a paradise for children, but none of the items were for children. Ridiculous as it sounds, all those wonderful dolls, clothes, little dollhouses, and carriages were for the adults to buy and stare at while dusting them.

The shop assistant was watching with horror as the only child in a toy shop was squealing with delight, pointing at various pieces she loved. I didn’t let her touch them. I didn’t want her to break any of them, but surely she was allowed to admire them?

Suddenly, she threw herself on the ground and started crawling forward on her belly.

Me: “What are you doing there, sweetie?”

Daughter: “I’m a snail, Mum, and I’m trying to get around the shop!”

The shop assistant was apoplectic while people were watching her with a smile. I just put down the two little figures I wanted to buy her as a memory and we left. The shop assistant probably fainted with relief when we were gone, leaving him with his distinguished clientele.

I’m in an unfamiliar town and I’m trying to grab a coffee before I have to get back to the car. I walk past three busy coffee shops, all with queues stretching out the door. I carry on down the road and spot a little independent shop down a side road, and no queue! I head inside and it looks really quaint, but it’s nearly empty save one seated customer and the cashier, currently on her phone. 

Me: “Could I have a large—”

She puts her hand up to silence me. I wait and wait.

Me: “Can I have a large mocha, please?”

Cashier: *Sighs* “We’re out.”

Me: “Okay, err, a large cappuccino.”

Cashier: *Sighs* “Fine.”

I wasn’t finished ordering, but frankly, I am done with her. She makes the coffee and slams it down on the table, spilling it. She looks at me with a mix of expectation and attitude.

Me: “Are you going to tell me my total? The price isn’t listed.”

Cashier: “It’s [total].”

I pay cash and grab my coffee, and then she stops me.

Cashier: “Oh, yeah, fill this out. You can win a cake or [something].”

She gives me a feedback form.

Me: “Yeah, I will, actually, and don’t think I won’t make a comment about your crappy attitude.”

Cashier: “They don’t pay me to care.”

The shop wasn’t there the next time I visited. Such a shame so many independent places are disappearing, but in this case, I can’t blame the big corporate chains.

I take the bus to work, normally. One morning, I get off the bus, and as I’m walking to the building, I realize that I left my work ID at home. Without it, I cannot get into my office. Because it is a long wait for the bus to go back home and it is unlikely I’ll make a return bus in a timely fashion, either, I decide to order a rideshare to go there and back.

I wait a while for the car, following along on the map. The driver keeps going around in circles on the blocks around where I am waiting without getting here. After a few minutes of this, he calls.

Driver: “I’m having trouble finding you. Where are you?”

Me: “I’m on [Street], at the corner of [Avenue], near the bus stop.

Driver: “Which one? There are two of them.”

Me: “There aren’t two of them in this neighborhood. There’s just the one here. I’m in the shopping district?”

After several more minutes, he finally picks me up.

Driver: “You were right; there was only one!”

He drives to my home, ignoring the map, but thankfully, he listens to my directions when he goes off course. I pick up my ID and we start driving back to my workplace. We make small talk on the way, and he tells me about the passengers he tends to drive.

Driver: “Yeah, I like when I take the ladies like you. They make the car smell good.”

Me: *Pauses* “Glad that hygiene thing is working out for you.”

I almost never downrate drivers, but this one got one star and a report.

I work for a small company in a niche engineering field with even more niche specialization. Our sales and marketing director has worked in this engineering field for over fifteen years, and yet, she has no desire to learn anything about what she is supposed to be selling. She does latch onto keywords and misuse them like no tomorrow, though. Think using “cold gas thrusters” to describe the entire rocket. And if you try to clarify terms, good luck! She will yell at you for treating her like she is stupid.

Today, it is “bulletproof code”.

Director: “We need some internal demos once the code is what I call ‘bulletproof.'”

Me: *Thinking* “Code is never bulletproof.”

Coworker: “Sounds good.”

Director: “We really need some bulletproof code for these demos so we can start selling. The code must be bulletproof.”

She went on and on about bulletproof code, asking us when the code would be “bulletproof”. And this wasn’t some small algorithm. This was a complex piece of code that needed to be used for over a hundred different specialized cases. But she kept going on and on and on about how it needed to be “bulletproof”.

She wasn’t happy when she didn’t get anything that day like she thought she was requesting. No, she is not capable of learning. And no, no one wants to ask for clarification.

I work at customer service doing returns. I’ve encountered a woman multiple times who bought plates online only to have to return them to the store because they were broken in transit.

Me: “Ma’am, can I be perfectly honest here? This is the fifth time I’ve seen you return these plates. I don’t think it is in your best interest to purchase them online again if the delivery people continue to mishandle them.”

Customer: “But I really like the design and the only store that has them in stock is so far away!”

Me: “But have you factored in the gas and mileage you’ve wasted by driving here multiple times? You could just go once and get it out of the way.”

Customer: “No, I’m just going to reorder them again.”

In my head, I said, “See you soon,” and sure enough, I had to return the plates four more times before I think she finally got the hint and just made the drive to purchase them in-store or just went with a different style.