That Really Grinds My Juicer

, , , , , | Working | July 5, 2018

(I purchase a juicer — the kind where you cut the lemon or orange in half, push one half on the cone, and it turns to press out the juice. I get home to use it and it makes a grinding noise and won’t turn. I paid cash.)

Me: *to cashier* “Hi. I bought this juicer, got it home, and it’s broken. Here is my receipt.”

Cashier: “No problem.”

(The cashier rings in the return, gives me my money, AND THEN PUTS THE BROKEN JUICER IN THE BOX BACK ON THE SHELF!)

Me: “Um… That juicer is broken.”

(The cashier shrugged and went back to work. Now when I return something that is broken in the box, I take a permanent marker and write “BROKEN” all over the box and the merchandise.)

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On A Different Plain Of Understanding

, , , , , | Working | July 5, 2018

(I’m at the coffee shop at the airport, trying to get some breakfast.)

Me: “Small latte and plain bagel with cream cheese, please.”

Employee: “Small latte and…?”

Me: “Plain bagel with cream cheese.”

Employee: “Bagel?”

Me: “Yes, with cream cheese.”

Employee: “What type of bagel?”

Me: “Plain, with cream cheese.”

Employee: “So, you don’t want butter, or cream cheese, or anything?”

Me: “No, I want cream cheese.”

Employee: “Okay, and did you want a coffee?”

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No Perception Of No Reception

, , , , | Working | July 4, 2018

(I am having terrible cell phone reception with my carrier, which is weird because for years there has never been any issue. I have checked with my coworkers; everybody on this carrier has been having trouble all day, while everybody else has been fine. I decide to call up the rep to report the incident.)

Rep: “Thank you for calling [Carrier]. My name is [Rep]. May I verify your number, please?”

Me: “It’s [cell number]. I am not the owner of the account, but I am an authorized user to make changes as needed.”

Rep: “Okay, thank you. How may I help you?”

Me: “This entire day, I have not been able to get cell reception in this area. I talked to other people on the same carrier and none of them have any signal, either.”

Rep: “Okay, thank you. So, to verify your identity, can you please tell me the security PIN on the account?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I don’t know what that is; my father owns the account.”

Rep: “Okay… I’ve gone and sent you a message to your phone. Can you please read me the security numbers on the phone?”

Me: “Umm… That’s kind of hard when I have no phone reception.”

Rep: “Ooh… Right… Oookay.”

(I started laughing and we managed to go another route. Whatever happened was fixed and service was restored later on.)

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(Ab)Used Car

, , , , | Working | July 3, 2018

(I’m 18 and I have just been medically discharged from the military. I have nothing to fall back on. I decide that the first thing I need to do is get a car. I have enough money saved up to buy a decent used car outright. My aunt, who works HR for a car dealership, tells me to browse their website and see if I find anything I like. I manage to find a car within my price range, but it is in Las Vegas. She puts me in touch with her “best” used car salesman to see if he can help me out.)

Salesman: *on the phone* “I see you are looking at a car in Las Vegas; is that right?”

Me: “Yes, would it be possible to bring it here?”

Salesman: “Yes, we can do that, but I’m a little concerned about the car because the dealership didn’t do the mechanic report; it was done by an outside source. But I did just get a 2007 Toyota Corolla in with only 63,000 miles on it. What were you looking to spend?”

Me: “Well I’m paying cash, so $3,500-$4,000 max.”

Salesman: *mumbles something about $4,000* “…but I can work with you because of who your aunt is. We were going to replace the tires, but I can not do that to save on cost, if you prefer.”

Me: “That sounds great! I can replace the tires myself. Can I come see it this weekend?”

Salesman: “Absolutely! See you then!”

(My boyfriend and I drove from San Diego to Los Angeles to see the car, and met my aunt at the dealership. When we arrived, I did an initial inspection of the car and everything looked great, so we went inside to finalize the deal. When we sat down, the salesman showed us a quote that was around $6,400, which was WAY out of my budget. I began to believe I wasn’t going to leave with this car. My aunt was livid, tearing into the salesman, asking him if that’s how they treat all of their customers, and if so, they needed to have a serious chat. Turns out they bought the car from the previous owner for $4,000 and there were all sorts of fees they had to charge to resell it. The salesman believed he could get the young girl buying her first car to finance and make more money. His manager got involved and, to save the situation they sold it to me for the $4,000 they bought it for, plus $540 in DMV fees they couldn’t waive. They took a HUGE hit on the car, and I walked away both scared and impressed by my aunt. The kicker? The tires were fine.)

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Making You Go Postal

, , , , , | Working | July 2, 2018

(I get to the post office late, but before they close at five. I wait at the counter for almost ten minutes.)

Employee: “I’m closed; you have to come back tomorrow.”

Me: “When did you close?”

Employee: “5:03.”

Me: “Its only 5:01 now, and I’ve been here almost ten minutes.”

Employee: “My watch says 5:10.”

Me: *pointing* “The clocks there, there, and there agree with me.”

(I have him get a supervisor, explain the story, and she verifies.)

Supervisor: “Can you please get this man his package?”

Employee: “I can’t.”

Supervisor: “Why not?”

Employee: “It’ll take ten minutes to get the system back up then shut it down again.”

Supervisor: “Sorry, there’s nothing he can do.”

(I was not impressed with the supervisor. If you decide to not do your job and hide in the back so you don’t have to do any work for at least ten minutes, a little unpaid “overtime” seem reasonable to me; balances the books.)

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